Been MIA

[ShannyReitor]

Sorry I've been MIA lately. After finding out Adam is Lactose Intolerant we have been spending endless amounts of time playing, etc. He requires attention in a different way now, and it's adorable. I have always had such love for him, but now that he's not screaming in pain all the time my love has like quadrupled. I didn't think it was possible. I also get more time to myself as he does nap now, though not for long periods of time. And he's easier for Daddy to handle so he takes him more. I just got my wisdom teeth surgically removed today so I'm pretty darn sore and swollen. Adam is at MIL's until tomorrow. I miss him so much already. I do feel terrible today though. He's been getting up early lately and it's been hard (except for yesterday). I usually feed him, snuggle him and then put him in his swing for an hour or so to wake up because 4am is a tough time to try and get ready for the day. This morning he was kinda fussy so I tried to give him more bottle while he was in his swing because sometimes he wants to lay on his own to feed like a big boy. We he held it in his mouth and I wiggled it saying eat or do nothing darnit and shook the bottle a bit in his mouth. He didn't want it so I took the bottle out of his mouth and put it on the table only for him to start throwing up. Then he threw up so bad it was coming out of his nose and even got in eyes. I felt horrible that I let my tiredness and frustration get the better of me and it causing my son to vomit. I had to pick him up right away and pat his back to get the rest out. Strange thing is he was a very smiley baby afterwards. I feel like such a jerk, yet he became very happy. I snuggled him for the rest of the morning apologizing and hugging him. Has anyone ever did anything with their frustration that made them feel like crap? I know I didn't hurt him and I never would, I just feel so bad.