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Old 07-03-2008, 08:49 AM
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Icon5 Topic Of The day....

I know alot of us have l/o's and are first time parents, so I guess for some This is more of "What would you do"....

How do you intend to enforce, work ethics, morals and values in your child(ren)?

My daughter Gia is 14. She has had chores since she was 6 years old. Of course they were always age appropriate (sp?). She has now turned 14 and I made her get a p/t job. She is working and making $5 an hour as a mother helper, also going to volunteer at an accupational therapist helper.. She works atleast 10 hours a week and makes $50 for the week. She has her own bank account in which she has to put $20 a week in savings and $30 a week for pocket money. She is responsible for her own laundrey, She also makes $10 a week for doing AJ's laundrey. On alternating days she has bathroom dutie, kitchen dutie and vacuuming. Everyday after dinner she is required to clean off the table and sweep the kitchen.

She will be starting Highschool and I will require she holds atleast an 85 average in every class.

I feel it is very important to start all of this now, all the girls I grew up with had no chores or responsibilities and they have messy/ dirty homes and are very irresponsible. My mother did the same (minus instilling the work ethic) and I think it helped me be a good parent. I have promised my children I will SAH to raise their kiddies so they do not have to worry about daycare, it is a promise I have made to all my kids!
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Old 07-03-2008, 09:36 AM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

How do you intend to enforce, work ethics, morals and values in your child(ren)?

I try to make Adam put his toys up now, but that does not always happen. I think I will be a pushover!! lol
My mom did pretty much everything for me as a kid and I turned into a neat freak. I will basically just try to get them to help. Not do everything.

As far as work, no, I will not push it. I played sports in HS, so I didn't work unless I wanted to. I did at age 14 for a few months, then again at 16 for a few months, then not again until after HS.

If my child has no after school activities, it may be different. I don't want them to come home and watch TV all evening. I will also try and provide a car for my child. Nothing great. I got one at 16. I just see too many parents say "get a job, then you can have a car." Well, how are they going to get there? Mom and dad work, friends don't want to have to take you and pick you up all the time. That just seems silly to me. Dh's parents did that. Luckily he had save allowance and had to worry about transportation for about 4 months until he saved enough.

I figure they have 18 years to be a kid and the rest of their life to be an adult.
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Old 07-03-2008, 10:36 AM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

I agree Carissa, for the most part.
In my situation , my daughter has VERY EXPENSIVE TASTE for a 14 year old, in which I don't mind at all, but she has this attitude of entitlement at times or for a better choice of words like we owe her. I know this is the age where they become selfish and may have that attitude, but I am not having it. My daughter currently owns 50 pairs of sneakers, some of which cost almost as much as $200, she has 5 coach bags, has a Tmobile Sidekick, Does not own a pair of jeans under $100, she has designer boots that cost $150 and over.

Gia will get her 1st car at age 18 as soon as she can drive. She wants a BMW, which we have no problem with getting her one, but I feel she has to earn it.

Oh to mention in regard to the chores, when school is in, WE ONLY FOCUS ON SCHOOL and her only chore is cleaning her room and laundry, on the weekend she has to do the bathroom and her laundry. She really isn't into sports, if she was I would be thrilled so she would be preoccupied.

I guess I feel this way also since my mom only instilled this in myself and not in my brother and 2 sisters and my sisters happen to be very messy and sloppy and my yougest sister has a horrible work ethic.
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Old 07-03-2008, 10:59 AM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

Wow, 50 pairs of sneakers?!?!? I have 3 or 4 at a time and I thought I was bad. lol

When I was that age, I didn't even know what Coach was. lol Not to mention, designer anything really. I was spoiled with name brands, but it was Guess, Levi, Nike, LA Gear (blast from the past), Polo, stuff like that. I had never heard of jeans $100 until about the last 2 or 3 years.

I also lived in a small town. I am sure being close to New York doesn't help.
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Old 07-03-2008, 11:17 AM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

When I was that age, I didn't even know what Coach was. lol Not to mention, designer anything really. I was spoiled with name brands, but it was Guess, Levi, Nike, LA Gear (blast from the past), Polo, stuff like that. I had never heard of jeans $100 until about the last 2 or 3 years.
OMG LA GEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:20 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

Yeah, I had this jean jacket that I had to beg for. It was around $100. It was one of the short ones and said LA Gear in the back. That was my most prized article of clothing.
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

How do you intend to enforce, work ethics, morals and values in your child(ren)?

Steven and Wade both have chores. Steven uses the push mower on the inside of the fence, they both know how to do laundry. They have to clean their own room and put their laundry away. They also dust and take out the trash. They get paid and know that they can use that money for extras such as a candy when we are out or anything else they see that they want they save up for it.

The only thing they are required to do is their room. The rest is when I ask they help me out and earn money. When in school they only have to clean their room. School is first before sports or anything else.
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:47 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

La gear too funny I did not have the jacket myself but alot of my friends had it. I did however have to have every pair of air Jordans ever made.

In regards to chores she will definalty help out with age appropriate chores around the house. When she is old enough if she is not in sports( which I really hope she is) or some other sort of after school activity I would want her to get a part time job. I guess we will see what happens
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:41 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

WTH it wont show everyones responses!!
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:41 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

K there it goes now i see em!
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:42 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

I really hope that Lily will be a part of some sort of a sport's team or club in the afternoons. I think it's important to be a part of a "tribe" in school.
I also hope to have a help list that she puts stickers on and have a reward system set up for her help and bonuses for extra help etc..
I also hope to have her in music lessons and dance lessons when she is in elementary school.
I would like her to try karate or something like that too!
Im just excited for her to try all kinds of things
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:44 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

Oh and Iwould like for her to have a pretend bank account and deposit and save money etc to learn about respecting your finances.
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:48 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

wtf it happened again
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:49 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

Originally Posted by Poshie View Post
Oh and Iwould like for her to have a pretend bank account and deposit and save money etc to learn about respecting your finances.

I am doing the same for Gia.
Gia is very good at spending other money, but she don't want to touch her own... I find it quite funny!
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:51 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

haha i have the same prob!!!!!!
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Old 07-03-2008, 03:57 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

We have started with a few things Keegan helps us with (setting the table, taking trash and recycling out, putting laundry in the washing machine...) As he gets older we start to make them required things and use the term chores. I am currently reading the book Accountable Kids Keegan loves to get money and always puts it into his piggy bank. We will continue to teach him the importance of saving (not that we are great at it). We also think that giving to church and others is very important.
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Old 07-03-2008, 04:43 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

When I was growing up I was responsible for cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, taking out the trash, & laundry. I was homeschooled so it wasn't hard for me to get my school work done & then doing my chores. I also cooked dinner 3 nights a week from the time I was about 11, which I really enjoyed My Dad taught me how to cook when I was 4, it was a great experience. I'm going to do the same with Lu... how to respect the stove/oven & cook, starting small.
We've already opened Lu her own bank account, it's a savings account that we got her separate from my & Michael's joint account & my account that I use for business on eBay. Whatever I sell on eBay 1/2 of the money I make goes straight into Lu's savings
Lu will be helping around the house with age appropriate stuff i.e. putting up her toys & things of that nature & Michael wants to teach her how to do laundry, but making a game out of it ever since we lived @ the old apartment complex there was a little boy & his Daddy that would do laundry together & the little boy would open the dryers put the dryer sheets in, then his Daddy would hand him laundry to put in the dryer. It was funny to watch
We want Lu to learn responsibility as well, so when she's about 8 she'll be getting a pet to take care of starting on the dishes as well, rinsing everything but the glasses & knives ( that's how it was done with both Michael & myself. ) & 15 a PT job to save her own money. & when she's 17 she'll start paying bills... however I'll do what my mom did & save that money for her that way when she's in school she'll have money for books etc. We don't expect her to move out when she's 18 but we do expect her to continue paying her bills... cell phone & things of that nature. Don't get me wrong we want her to be a kid, but we grew up that way & we're the only ones out of our siblings that are stable.
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Old 07-04-2008, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

My oldest is 16 1/2
She just got her learners, Dh gave her his car which is an hyudi excel. She just opened a bank account, cos she got a job in a hospital cafeteria for the holidays, she gets about $15 an hour. She wanted to work and she got it through a friend from school who's uncles owns many of them.

I bought them up on the saying is you get what your are giving, Take it or leave it. My oldest has alot of clothes and stuff, Her make up is top of the range, But only because I like quality. She has never really asked me for brand things.

She happy with $26 sneakers but I usually spend $50-60. When my DD usually has money, im not kidding, she usually spends it on others, buying them gifts. She also said when she gets payed she wants to take me and dh to a really expensive restaraunt. I told her not to waste all her money on us, but to keep it for herself. She only just started. But she is very insisted.

Since she is studying year 11, Her only choir is the kitcten. All the other kids have their choirs as well.

DD#1 Kitchen
DD# 2 laundry and sweeping floor
DD # 3 washing down the kithen table
DD # 4 Bins and front hall way
DD # 5 cleaning up lounge room
DD # 6 Powder room
DD # 7 toy room
DS he just helps everyone LOL

I also teach them to respect people and don't talk back to adults. They also go to church every week and I don't allow any swearing and I don't swear myself, so its easier for them to follow that commandment. My kids are very spoiled with alot of things, But I also discipline them as well so its pretty equal.

They usually look out for other people's kids as well, they have that over protective for ones that are getting picked on. When we go out they usually are well behaved. Get told that all the time.

I don't allow back chatting. They have to be respectful or there are consequences. It does get hard at times,but overall if you stick to it, it all works out. They have to lend each other clothes if one of them wants to lend something. If they "dont" I stop buying them clothes thats the rules, That usually works. I buy them clothes alot!

I still pick all their clothes even the older ones. Im really fussy. They have no say LOL but they like everything I pick anyway, So do their friends. I have never had a kid scream for a toy or anything from a shop. They know when I say no its no. So they dont waste their time.

My Oldest DD is only allowed to go out if she has earned it, I make it a privilege. There for she doesn't abuse it. Specially when I give her a time to come home and her choirs must be done in the first place. She actually told my sister to do that with her kids LOL. And she told her thats what mum does with me and I think thats a good way LOL.

Although if its night, I pick her up from where she is.

Usually when one of the kids have been very helpful and doing her choirs with no problems I take them out for a day and spend that individual time with them and spoil them with things, They love it. I do keep my kids close, But when they get to a certain age they have things they are allowed to do. Going out, catching the bus etc........

Over all, I have had mums that say that my kids are very nice and polite kids, and their kids find them to be the nicest kids in the school. So I think I have done something right!

I could go on but I think it would take me forever, If I explained it all.
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Old 07-04-2008, 03:14 AM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

How do you intend to enforce, work ethics, morals and values in your child(ren)?

She will have age appriopriate choirs as she gets older. We attend church every week unless one of us is sick. During the summers and when she is old enough she will be expected to get a job. I would like to send her to private school and enroll her in gymnastics or dance.
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Old 07-05-2008, 12:48 PM
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Default Re: Topic Of The day....

Avery's parents are slobs so it's hard to interest her in being any better. (Avery is 4yo) Although, I have to say that she is required to do things like make sure her clothes and shoes, etc., are picked up and put away. She helps me with laundry. She has to pick up her toys and put them away. She helps her dad with the garden work. We have told her and continue to tell her that we are a family and we all work together to get the work done for the family. Chores are a fact of life. They will always be there and she will always be required to do her share.

Money still does not mean anything to her except when she'd like to give some away. Every time I've given her any money she always gives all of it away. Soon we will start talking about an allowance. As soon as she starts asking for things. Also I believe in giving kids money if they do something "above and beyond," like washing the car, etc. How else is a little kid going to learn that money has to be earned?

She goes to Childr