Well I have a few good friends , not many and 2 sisters. I have all through my life been a very heaqdstrong person and one of those , "I don't take peoples crap attitide". Especially men. So anyways....

I seem to catch a lot of flack about 1, being a SAHM 2, the fact my kids and I are very well taken care of 3, That dh is not their biological father and he provides for them as well if not better and a whole bunch of other things. I just do not understand the thought of being so indulged with other peoples lives, but I also guess that is because mine is very fulfilled. Here are a few exaplmes I have had with a few people this week and the stupid arse crap I have to hear.

Convo 1 I was having a general conversation about every day things and Person A starts questioning how is it she can not be a SAHM and with one child and I can manage with 4 kids. Then proceeds to ask me if we are receiving government help..lol because she can not understand how my dd1 wears $100 jeans and has new sneakers every week, or how I manage to hit the mall 2x a week and how my dh bought me a 2008 vehicle. I explained to her that I know for fact her income surpasses mine so her and dh must be doing something wrong with their financials.

Convo 2 with person B A relative and I have babies 3 weeks apart and she returned to work after her alotted time. Anyways, I always get digs about being a SAHM. So she had told me at the end of her maternity leave she iddnt want to be a SAHM, it would make her feel useless and worthless. I knew it was a bunch of crap and it was amatter of her DH would not provide for her so she had no choice. So last week she called to tell me she owuld be a SAHM for the whole summer and bragged about it. I congratualted her and told her I wash appy for her. Then she told me she would be staying home to take care of DH's daughter fomr another marriage........... I even told my mother it seemed like her dh had this epiphany to benefit himself. Yesterday we talked on the phone and she starts slamming SAHM's. Asking me don't I feel bad I spend so much money and I do not work or contribute financially. I explained to her that I have a $3,000 income myself fomr child support and my dh takes much pride in being a provider and would never take money from me, it is just his personal belief. So she said "oh". T hen her next comment was , " I would be so bored sitting home doing nothing all day"... Nothing, my house is spic and span everyday and we get home cooked meals everyday, but 1 day during the week. I have HW and things to do wiht the kids along wiht caring for 4 kids, her response was oh.. again. I then rebuttled with , What happened to the PROUD SAHM from last week! How you were saying you were gonna be home with your baby. She ignored me then I questioned about her step daughter coming for the summer and she said it was unlikely she would be, which leaves me to believe like I said her dh was just doing this for his own financial reasons. Which pisses me off and I told her I would be mighty pissed my DH sent me off to work after 9 weeks and let my baby go to daycare, but his other child is coming and now she was good enough to be at home!

Conv 3 with person C DH started working more hours at his part time job so Monday through thursday he will be working either 3-9, 4-10 or 5-11. So I had to hear don't I feel bad my dh has to work so hard and I get to sit home and do nothing all day?

I want to know, how another mother can think a SAHM does nothing all day. I mean I manage to cook clean run all my errands and run the home by myself while dh is the bread winner. I do not have any help and have thought of geting a nanny for 10 hours a week so I don't have to drag the little guy with me. I do not have a mother in law or mother sho comes over and takes my kids off my hands. everything I do , I do it alone and wiht my kids. Secondly WTF are people so concerned about $$$$$$$$$$ issues in my marriage. I mean DH and I do well and I do have a very good life. WTF is that anyone's business?

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I have a friend who works and really wants to be a SAHM, but her dh tell her no. If she does, then she cannot have anything new. Clothes, cars, etc. Not because the cannot afford it, just because. BUT, she has made a few comments about how life would be so much easier to be a SAHM. Um, no! I think it is way harder than working and having kids. Patience is something learned, not born with. I have been a SAHM for almost 3 years and I am STILL working on patience. Money is an issue though. Dh make an amazing living. But we have expensive taste. New cars, 3 plasma all over 42 inches, we just bought the kids a $5000 swingset, and plentiful of toys, clothes and whatever we want. Do we have savings? NO! lol That is what dh's 401 is for. We like material things. Are we materialistic. Probably. We do have some credit card debt, but it is because dh is building a 69 Camaro.
People look at us, the things we have, and think we are crazy. We love our life. If we want something, we get it. For ourselves and our kids.
I have learned that being a SAHM, it is much easier having friend that are also. I have had this one friend for a pretty long time. But the last few years, we have become so close. She is a SAHM with 2 girls. We do so much together. Never fight and agree on alot of things. We do disagree sometimes, but we know we will get over it quickly. Maybe try Moms Club or something like that.
Sorry for the book! This has been a major topic for sometime around here. Oh, dh, our parents, and I all love the fact that I get to spend so much time with the kids.

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In all honesty it isn't any of anyone's business how you & your husband run your household & what you & he do with your finances. To me it sounds as though those people are jealous of what you & your husband have & that's pretty effin' childish!

I've experienced a few friends back home being pissed that I've been able to be a SAHM myself but it isn't my fault their significant others didn't feel like getting off of their a$$es & taking care of their responsibility. & my MIL has tried to make me feel bad for staying @ home while Michael works, but you know it's NONE of her business & Michael & I BOTH don't trust anyone watching our daughter yet & we're doing just FINE financially. If it were an issue I would definitely go back to work if I felt comfortable & I don't yet. It just amazes me that people want to stick their noses in other peoples business when it comes to being a parent & other people's finances. It'd be one thing if the children weren't being provided for, but OBVIOUSLY they are!!

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I have done both.... I get the same crap about being a SAHM (since 2001). I was asked all the time "So are you going to go back to work when Wade starts school?" Then I got pregnant with Emilia so there was no way I would work. IF we needed me to work I would work any where I could to get the extra money but we don't and we have all we need and WANT.... like a 4 day vaca to TN this week. So I will stay home with my kids as long as I want to. My sister is a SAHM too so we do tons of stuff and we go to lunch a lot with the kids. There is one girl we know that has to work cause her DH refuses to care for her kids from her ex in any way at all and she is ALWAYS giving us grief over being SAHM's, but we know it is cause she is jealous.

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I've been out of work since August. I still don't really have any plans to go back to work any time soon. We thought about it. It would be nice to bank all of my income for savings, but DH makes good money, and we are able to afford me staying home with Lily right now. So, that's what we are doing.
I don't really want to put her in daycare while she is a baby. When she gets bigger, I don't mind her grandmother keeping her, or someone I know well and trust if I go back to work.
We really have not decided yet. People are snooping around about it though. I've had (mainly his family) ask questions about what I'm going to do. I know that I don't owe them any explanation, so I just humor them with something and carry on.
It's really no one's business but ours. DH and I make the decisions for us and that's that.

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Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.(1 Corinthians 13:7)

I know my MIL and SIL were not thrilled that dh support my children, but that is not their business!
My EXMIL not to mention has been a SAHM & wife and never has worked a day in her life , always would question when would i be working. I kindly told her politely, once she was paying our bills then she could make it her concern.


Carissa~ We are spender too. We love electronics here too =). My oldest daughter owns 33 pairs of sneakers, and a closet full of name brand clothes and pocket books, along with ds and dd also havbing nice clothes. My son owns a wii and xbox360, both have ds's, oldest dd has her own laptop and bother her and ds have tmobile sidekicks. I love expensive clothes and things, believe me if it had been putting our family out I would not buy nor want these things!

my one friend Andrea gave me good advice and told me do not discuss anything in regard to money with them!!! I think I will, but sometimes they ask such simple questions and turn them into something ridiculous!

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I don't know why it's anyone's business . . .I would stay home if our incomes were reversed . . . I don't know why people say it is harder to stay home than to work. IMO I find it much easier to stay home. It gives me time with the kids, time to actually clean the house, and the energy to stay up late with hubby. Right now I go to sleep when the baby does!
When people ask such stupid questions remind them how much day care, a maid and a cook would cost. You deserve whatever you get!

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Mom to Isaac born 11/18/04 . . .


and Elijah born 12/22/07

After I had my first child I had to return to work. I got a lot of grief over working instead of being home. I wanted nothing more to be home but had to work. Many hurt my feelings over working. So I had to opposite experience. DHs grandmother said "why have children if you aren't going to be home"- that burned me.

I have a home daycare now in order to be home - so I am a WAHM- and many don't see how I do it. I am proud of myself and work hard- being home all day- caring for the kids (and extra kids) cleaning, cooking etc. It is a hard job. I love being home.

Hang in there.

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