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_Kaylyn_ · #1 (**permalink**) 06-29-2008, 05:31 PM

I'm 19 years old. One more year to go until I can finally say I am an adult.... not a women quit yet... but getting there. My first boyfriend was Corey Bilger. I was in High School. That explains how it ended. Typical "first-love"-drama. When Corey moved, I met this older man Andrew. I met him when I was 17. He was 27 at the time. When I turned 18 he took me out and we were together for almost 2 years. I broke up with him when he got intoxicated at a family function and called me a slut in front of my entire kin. We still talk (he moved to Oregon) sometimes. I'm over him but I still mess with him when I'm lonely or sad (which I need to stop doing). That's when I met Jesse. I liked him since the moment I saw him. I've just spent the last week and a half over at his house "having fun". But throughout the whole time we were hanging out, I paid for EVERYTHING. Stupid on my part, I know, but I was just so desperate to feel appreciated and/or wanted. I let him use my car, everything. I only had 20 dollars left till this Wednesday (payday!) and I told him to put 5$ in my tank. By the time he picked me up from work I wanted 15 dollars in my hand. He came by to pick me up from work and handed me 10$. That's the first thing that set me off. When I went to get in my car, i noticed my "put-gas-in-me-now" light was on and I lost it. I told him to get out of my car and walk home. He refused. I went crazy. Started throwin punches and all he could do was say "I have two other girls just like you lined up" & when I asked him how he could do that to me he said "I have another girl lined up to use for a whole other week." I have NEVER felt so low from a guy who i've only seen for a week. So, now It's the day after. And I'm disappointed in myself and depressed. And I want to hurt him so bad emotionally but he's like a brick wall when it comes to that type of stuff. I'm never going to see him again.

So, thats why I started this blog. I needed to hear a real woman's perspective.

P.s. I have 0$ and no sense. =[