I am happily divorced and remarried now, but I was just explaining to a friend of mine that was going thru a messy how I knew it really was over.

In my first marriage I stopped caring the way you're supposed to. I avoided going to bed so I wouldn't have to be in the same room until I was so exhaused that I had to. This was a big clue since I hate hate hate to sleep alone.

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Thats kinda how I knew. But still gave it shot after being separated 4 months. When 4 months into a reconcile he started planning a move off with some chick. Thats when I knew it was over. I found out recently he was not with that girl anymore and dragged my feet at the idea of trying again but not putting myself through that again.

I do understand the apathy towards everything that creeps up. I knew it was going downhill when I just didn't care if he was coming home late or anything like that. He was working graveyard and I had gotten used to sleeping alone(I am one that doesn't like to sleep alone too..) and actually enjoyed it.

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~Melissa




My Toys:
Nikon D80
50mm f/1.8
18/55mm f/3.5-5.6(kit I decided to get anyway LOL)

when he told me "I woke up one day and realized I didnt love you anymore so I decided to get a girlfriend"... when I was 4 1/2 months pregnant with our 3rd child. I knew we had problems.. but I didnt realize that they had become that bad.

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I had been fighting mine for years knowing it was over. I guess mine was finding out he was telling people he wanted a divorce and I had had it. Then his dad told me I should be doing even more to please him pretty much and that was the final straw I think. I had been killing myself to make him happy and he never was.

We had been talking about how to work things out but I just couldn't see how we would, both wanting different things from life. Its like he was in a totally different book then I was. Its one thing to like be in the same book but maybe in different chapters but not totally different books. This was the analogy I used to make my point to him.

I also knew I was in a position to be able to take care of myself totally since I had been paying all the bills so that helped me make my decision also. Before I was always to scared that I couldn't provide totally for myself cause we had been together since highschool.

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Ranee ~ Mommy to
Hunter Paul

That's just it, How "do" I know when it's over. My husband and I have been married for years now and have a small child. He always just seems distant. I talk a lot and want to tell him things that the baby did or things that I think are funny and he just doesn't seem that interested. I work full time, yet make sure to have a hot meal on the table when he gets home, have the baby clean and house clean too. I never get a thank you, or any gesture of him happy that though I worked all day as well I still made time to cook, clean, take care of the baby and take care of his needs too. He golfs and does what he wants on the weekends, but what about me? I don't get a break unless I complain that I need one. Tonight I made dinner and it took me a while b/c it was a new meal that I was trying out. It was a mexican dish that I wanted to make him b/c it's Cinco De Mayo and I thought it would be fun to try it today. He came home in a bad mood and was raising his voice at me over and over, I told him to stop yelling at me, and he didn't. I scooped the dinner out and got everything ready dispite me being angry that he was treating me this way. He got pissed and threw his plate down and the food went flying all over me and the floor, counter, etc. I just burst into tears b/c I just can't be super mom, super wife anymore. I don't know what I want anymore, I have a wonderful baby, but I now totally hate my husband. what now?

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[Lizzy

There is no excuse for this. You really need to get into marriage counseling. If he doesn't want to go then go by yourself. I hope there is a way to make things better for you, you sound like you deserve so much better.


The day he told me he could never be monogamous is the day I knew it was over. I had been trying to work through issues after finding out about several infidelities and it wasn't saving marriage. We actually get along quite well now after I've mostly forgiven him since now I'm in such a better place.

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