Re: Hanky panky is the only marriage counselor you need?
As someone who has a husband that just isn't really into sex, I can see where it may help some marriages.
Let me explain, my husband really isn't that into "doing the deed" and for many years I took this personally. He didn't want to get close and cuddle because he was afraid I was going to pressure him for sex. I withdrew from him because I saw his lack of interest as a lack of love for me. It took a lot of growing up on my part to understand that no sex doesn't necessarily mean no love.
Sometimes when you can have that intimate time together, not just sex, but making love, it brings you closer together. If my husband and I had taken the thirty day "sex" challenge in our early days together (we have been together for twenty years), we might have gotten closer to one another and I may have realized much sooner that sex is just a tool to bring you closer together. I finally realized that when I kicked and screamed and whined and begged to have sex more frequently and finally got my way for a couple of weeks. While I enjoyed the act of sex - it didn't change the underlying problems that we had, I came to understand that it wasn't actually the sex that I wanted, I wanted to feel close to my husband, and it was what he wanted too.
Now we make sure to hold hands, and touch each other frequently, but we don't have sex that often -- not that I don't want to, I would love to have a lot more sex than we do, but I know that he loves me, and I have the closeness that our marriage was missing. We fight a whole lot less now. We still have an occasional squabble, but nothing like the fighting before.
So, back to my point, I can see where, if you have been growing apart or no longer feel close to your spouse/significant other, the whole 30 days of sex challenge may bring you closer together. There is a LOT to be said for feeling close to your spouse. Then you may be able work on whatever the other problems are.
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