I have a problem maybe someone can help me with. Let me start from the beginning.....

Back in March,2007, I met a beautiful, caring, and supportive woman online, she will be turning 30 this year, and I am 46. We started talking on a daily basis, which grew to long phone calls that never seemed to get tiring. I so loved talking to her (still do). The problem is, I am in the U.S. and she in the U.K., and we are both working and struggling to make ends meet. We never were able to meet in person, just whatever we could do on the phone and online. We grew real close, and needless to say, we fell in love. I was hoping to save enough money to go see her, but as with life, problems arise and I could never seem to save the money.

Around November or so of last year, another man came into her life. She had been waiting for things to change between us so we could be together, but it never happened. The new guy was there, in her town, and able to give her a relationship. She couldn't bear telling me for the longest time, but I eventually figured it out. Being on the planet 46 years, you get to know the signals. She broke down one night and told me she has fallen for this new guy, but always wants us to be close, dear friends. That went without saying, I dont think i could EVER lose her. She means too much to me. No one has EVER made me feel the way this woman does. She has touched me in ways I cannot explain. I have such a deep deep love for her, I thought she was the one that I was destined to meet. I STILL feel that way.

Well, its now March 2008, and Ive tried to put the pieces back together. Ive attempted dating several times, but lost them all.......Why? I cant get her off my mind. Shes all I think about, and dream about. I still haven't lost my deep devotion for her. But she seems to have put it all into perspective, and she even plans to marry this new guy later this year. I have a problem with this too, because this guy is'nt the one. He is alcoholic, and has rage issues. One night he almost assaulted her, and scared her so bad. She called me and was in tears. But she took him back, and is determined to make it work.

I guess my question Is, and what I need advice on is, how do I get over this? I know some of you will say to cut all ties, but I cant, like I said, I care for her too much, and If I cut off all contact, it would devastate her. We still talk 2-3 times a week.

Any ideas, or thoughts?

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I love you Simone

You say cutting all ties would be too much for her, but at the same time she is okay with going and marrying someone other than you without your feelings being much of the factoring process I would assume. As hard as it might e to do the only way to really get over something such as this is to move on in my opinion. Sure it's super easy for me to say I'm not involved... but I think it might be in your best interest to do so. Just start by limiting the calls to once a week then every other week and so forth.

Good luck!

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