Tobi's birth story, finally(very long) XP

theycallmemom · #1 (**permalink**) 04-07-2009, 04:16 PM

For those of you here who want to read it..sorry it's so long, but I had to get it all out..

To be complete in the birth story, I have to start at the end of my 36th week when I had my first serious panic attack in combination with ctx every 3 minutes that ended up with me in Labor and delivery, putting progress me 2cm and baby‘s head right there, and leaving me very unsettled. The ctx continued off and on throughout the next 2.5 weeks.

At my 39 week appt, however, baby was no longer engaged, and my cervix was still long and 2cm. Because I have disabling heartburn during pg I have to take Tums and Zantac regularly, from the very beginning, and by 39 weeks I was concerned about the placenta’s function ability due to the Tums(can cause calcification, and had with my last baby’s placenta, giving her the appearance of post-term even though she was in fact only 2 days past her EDD). Combined with circumstances of life, such as getting notice that we will have to be moving just weeks after the baby’s birth due to our landlord’s letting this house go into foreclosure, and my dh’s work being very, very slow, this brought the stress to a new level and I continued to have panic attacks with each onset of ctx, which was nearly nightly by this point.

Wednesday the 25th I ended up in L&D again, but this time the nurse couldn’t even reach my cervix anymore, even after putting my tail-end on a bed pan and reaching and causing me immense pain, she said I was only a 2, and didn’t even feel like it was *all the way through*. I continued with ctx for an hour or so while there, and the next nurse didn’t have to *reach* at all for my cervix, and said I was still only a 2, they were sending me home. She was SO rude, and talked down to me like I had no idea what was going on, and I got angry, so after hours of ctx they send me home, during a panic attack with a history of fast labors! I was ANGRY, and I believe b/c of my anger the ctx stopped. But the cramping and feeling icky didn’t stop. The following day I felt horrible. My bp was up, swelling was up, and had been for over a week now. I hadn’t been able to eat since the first panic attack, more than a few crackers here and there, and maybe half a yogurt. I noticed that my urine output was thick-ish and bright yellow, even though I was drinking a lot of water. It was the only thing I could keep down…aside from the Tums and Zantac.

Friday the 27th, I began having ctx again, this time, they started off much stronger and I was excited rather than panicking . By this time we had decided that we were going to be having a hospital birth because of the stress and panic attacks I’d been having, so we made sure MY own OB was on call, then took the children over to my MIL’s and headed in. The ctx were 3 minutes apart, and though they had slowed during taking the children they started picking up again as soon as we were in the car on the way to the hospital. I was sure we’d have a baby in a few hours.

We got to triage a little after 5pm, got all hooked up and watched the ebb and flow of ctx on the monitor, they were definitely strong, going all the way to the top of the monitor and back. My heart rate was 100- 125, my bp 129/79 ish(very high for me, when my normal is 90/58-100/63). They also said I was dropping keytones and protein-it was likely that I was going into ketosis from being unable to eat. The nurse checks me and CAN’T REACH MY CERVIX. After trying the bedpan thing again, and nearly sending me through the wall, she said, I’m not going to try again, I’ll just page your dr and see what she says. At this point I’m starting to doubt myself, even though the ctx are strong. As strong as the just before transition ctx are usually for me. How could she not reach my cervix, what was the baby doing? What was my body doing?

The dr wanted me to stay, knowing my history(and the fact that I would birth at home if she sent me home, lol) so they assigned me to the last available room upstairs, a tiny L&D room with an itty bitty bathroom that didn’t even have a sink in it, and the shower was mini sized. I didn’t even make it upstairs till 7ish, and the ctx were still pretty strong at this point, they let us walk the halls a bit before doing a strip of the baby. My dr came in around 8 to see how I was and what was going on. She checked me and didn’t’ have a hard time at all finding my cervix(thank goodness), I was 3cm and 40-50% effaced, yah progress! She asked me if I’d like her to break my water, or if I wanted to walk more, or what I wanted to do. Because walking took a lot out of me, as I’d had no sleep and little nutrition, I opted for the breaking of the water. Nice clear fluid, and as the water poured out(and out, and out) and baby’s head came down on my cervix, it thinned right away, according to my dr. So here we are, we are DEFINITELY having a baby now!

I got into the shower at this point, as I always love to do during labor, and it seemed the ctx slowed down, but I thought I was just feeling them less, b/c of the water. Then I began to start having another panic attack, so I got out. I began having the shakes and feeling out of control. I wasn’t even in pain. They hooked me up to the monitor and my ctx WERE spacing out, every 4- 5 minutes. That intensified the panic attack I think. I started to ask questions about the epidural. I’ve done the research, and know the side effects, and risks, as well as the benefits, but wanted to hear it from a nurses standpoint. She said it would relax me, and be good pain relief but that if I wanted it, it was a process, and could take up to an hour or more to complete, starting with the fluids that are required before the anesthesiologist comes in, then the procedure, then about 20 minutes for it to take effect. So, once I hit transition, it really would be too late(which I knew anyway, but I didn’t know it took that long). I decided to go ahead after watching the ctx space out more and more and the shakes and panic began to rise. It was about an hour later that the guy was even available b/c they had an ER c/s. The guy was awesome, and the procedure didn’t hurt at all, which I was afraid of. At that point I was still only 4-5cm. Ugh.

At first the epi seemed fine. I did relax, minus the shakes still for the first hour. But the heartburn began to increase, and the nausea with it. It felt like I had eaten a whole spicy jalapeño and it was stuck in my throat and stomach. The ctx were still kind of spacey. I layed on my left side feeling the weirdness of the tingly legs and started to feel the ctx as they got a bit more regular. They gave me an extra “shot” of the epi via a button and boy did that feel weird. I could feel the coolness going into my back. The heartburn was so bad at this point that the nurse brought in Zofran to put in my IV to see if that would help, and it did, for about 15 minutes. Then my bp bottomed out and they had to give me epinephrine, which made my heart-rate go up to 140’s. I was in and out of a sleepy state, with a dead leg and feeling ctx on the other side and by 2am I was only *5-6cm* This was crazy! I was discouraged to say the least. At that point they wanted to start Pitocin, since I had gone for so long with only 1cm progress. The heartburn acid throat and the dead leg felt horrible at this point and I was willing to do just about anything to make the heartburn stop so about 2:30 they started the pit.

Just after 4am they checked me when I told them the ctx were getting much stronger, which I was feeling all down my right side(I was laying on it now), and I was 9cm, yeah!! She said to tell her when I felt the urge to push…well I never felt the urge to push, but a few minutes later I felt pressure on my pubic bone, with each ctx(which turned out to be b/c of his position). So I told them I was pretty sure it was time. So they got my dr out of bed, lol, and she came in and I started pushing. I found it disconcerting at least to not be able to feel like I was pushing. It only felt like I was holding my breath and squeezing my stomach. I was getting light headed with each push so I could only do one or two with each ctx, but Dr said that I was doing good, and that baby was in a posterior brow presentation so it would take a bit longer. About 5- 10 minutes of pushing and he was out! No stitches, tearing or anything. Thank goodness that was over. They put him right on my tummy and I got to hold Mr. slimy pants himself right away, the best part of the whole doggone night. Then they took him and he was having a bit of breathing trouble, so they had to suction him out, they got 10 cc’s of slimy orange-ish fluid out of his airways and he continued to spit it up for 2 days afterwards. But 1 hr after he was born, he got to nurse, and nursed for 1.5 hours!!

Tobias Arrow
8lbs 3oz
21”
4:34am
Just over 12 hours from the start of ctx to birth.

The dr and nurse asked me how I liked my epidural, I said I didn’t and I would never do it again. The nurse seemed surprised but my dr didn’t. I felt like I wasn’t part of my own birth. I AM thankful that the panic attacks/shakiness was taken care of by it, but I had worse pain with the heartburn with every ctx, than my ctx were in any of my other births, then I felt the ctx on my right side anyway. To be honest I feel cheated out of Tobi’s birth, even though I made the decision on my own(they never offered me anything before the epi, didn’t even bring the paperwork or anything all I had was the hep-lock). If this had been my first birth, I likely would never have had more children. During this pg, I’ve been so sure that I didn’t want anymore at all. This pg was horrible, but the birth experience was SO bad, I don’t know that I want to end it with such a horrible birth experience. But it will be a long time before I recover enough to ever want to do it again…if my dh even agrees.