May Chatty Thread

[Care75]

Laura- Oh no! I'm sorry he's having to be re-circed now. Poor baby. I'm sure it's got to be better now than at age 7 though. Have you had his 3 month appointment yet? I'm dying to know how much he weighs now!

We just have family plans for Mother's Day. We're visiting my grandma at the nursing home and then going out to a pizza dinner on Saturday with my mom and dad and my brother and SIL. Sunday, we're going to a meal with Susan's mom and sister and her kids. So no big deal.

Susan and I will get a cake to celebrate on our own. That's what she really wants. I got her what I think is a cool idea for Mother's day but I'm not going to say now in case she reads this!!

I got into my pre pregnancy bra today!! I'm very surprised and I was sooooo excited! I'm still pumping once a day until the weekend- don't want extreme leakage at school!! I'll probably be about done by then- I'm only getting like 5 oz. right now at the once a day pump. It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago I was getting 40-50 oz.

[2moms2be]

Laura- Im sorry you guys have to go through that...

Carie- i cant believe how great you are doing at weaning!!

I have decided to BF the girls till they decide to wean themselves. I enjoy it and they do too so we'll see how long it goes. could be a year or more. They both have one tooth and and one coming in. I have only got bit once so far. And surprisingly it did not hurt as much as I thought it would.(those teeth are SHARP like daggers, or new puppy teeth) It scared me more then anything! I made a squealing noise and she stopped right away and hasn't done it since. Their teeth are coming in exact opposite of each other. E had the first and it was on the bottom R and then a few days later A had hers pop and it was on the bottom L. I am so hoping they are mirror twins and I wonder when we will know if they are or not.

[Care75]

Mirror twins would be really cool!!

[2moms2be]

I know right!?! I keep meaning to tell you I love your new pics!!! and we have (dont think it still fits) the Diape(red) onsie!! I keep looking on-line for more (RED) baby stuff but it looks like they are no longer selling baby stuff.

[robin7361]

Originally Posted by 2moms2be

I am so hoping they are mirror twins and I wonder when we will know if they are or not.

do they have any of the other common mirrored things--like their hair whorling in opposite directions or opposite fingerprints?

[2moms2be]

Their little fingers are so small not sure if I could tell. I look tomorrow and see if I can tell. Not sure about the hair...the back of their head is one of the ways I have learned that they are different. A has one whirl on the R and E has 2 in the center. Ill see tomorrow if they are going in differing directions. Thanks I didnt know about those things.

[LauraH]

I just have to vent a little bit - hope you don't mind. Carolyn, Caleb & I met with the probate judge this morning about the adoption. Everything went well and there were no problems - we have to get a bunch of info together and bring it back. I left there feeling like I was going to cry, but I couldn't figure out why. It took me awhile to figure it out, but to be honest, this whole thing really pisses me off. I know I should be grateful that I even have the opportunity to legally adopt, but I can't help feeling - Who the hell is this old white guy to have the right to tell me ifI can be my kids mom?! The fact that I have to get frickin' letters of recommendation from family and friends - it just makes me feel like...I don't know what it makes me feel like, but it just feels wrong. A note from my doctor?! Statements from his bio-grandparents?! Why do all these people get input on if I get to be a parent?! It's bad enough that I can't concieve on my own. I know people are going to write glowing letters but that's not the point. I guess the bottom line is that all of this make me feel even less like his "real" mom.




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[2moms2be]

Vent away. Thats what we are here for. It is really unfair and seems cruel doesn't it. I think I was as upset about the process as you are. I still feel resentment that we had to do all that work and pay $$$$s for something that straight people just take for granted. Im sorry.

[A Squared]

Laura, It IS terrible that we have to go through all this just to be officially recognized as the parents we already are. I am not looking forward to the process. What on earth is the reason for a letter from the doctor? My DP and I still have not started the process. I think we have been too overwhelmed with everything else, like parenting twins. We really should start the process, though.

Sorry about Caleb needing to be re-circed. Poor little fellow.

[robin7361]

laura: i totally get what you're saying and i know we have it to "look forward to" too. however, my DP is adopted herself and so are all her siblings and i don't know if that gives me any different perspective at all, but lots of people in lots of situations have to go through the same thing--straight or gay or anywhere in between.

still, i know you know this and i know it's frustrating and upsetting. i don't mean to minimize your feelings, but also to perhaps lend weight to the part you said about how lucky we are to at least be able to go through the process. i have a friend in MI who is STILL (after 2 years) not able to legally adopt her daughter there.

hmph.

[WannaBMom74]

wow Laura sorry to hear about poor Caleb having to be re circed and the Adoption thing is just wrong I can't believe you have to go through that I am very sorry to hear that I guess I am glad we live in Illinois we did not have to go through any of that it as more like a one day very expensive meeting the judge asked us a few questions and we were on our way . but just know no matter what you are Caleb's real mom you are the one who is there for him and taking care of him and no one should make you feel any less.

Patty- Mirror twins hmm that would be cool

[hematite153]

Laura (and others): I'm sorry that you have to jump through so many hoops to get recognized as the parents that you so obviously are. It isn't right, I completely agree. Believe me, you are a real parent! Don't let the prejudice get you down.

Robin: Since you have yet to go through it...if you're up for a harder fight there may be a way to get your DP's name on the birth certificate. In Feb, the NY state court ruled that the long-standing federal requirement that foreign marriages involving US citizens must be recognized if they were legal in the foreign jurisdiction where they were performed is still valid. What this means is that same-sex couples married in Canada must be treated as married (and are considered legally married in NY state) and be given all of the associated benefits (including names on the birth certificate you're going to get). I don't know where you are...if you're in NY, you can take advantage of this ruling by visiting Canada (and getting married) before giving birth...if you're elsewhere, and willing to engage in a lengthy legal battle you can likely use this precedent as a jumping off point.

I am so sorry that you are all having these experiences.

[LauraH]

Thanks for all your kind words & support. It's just so frustrating!! It helps to know that there is support from all of you & family and friends...we'll get through it. I'm glad we are breaking new ground for gay & lesbian families in the future.

Care - Caleb got weighed at the urologists office. 3months old & a whopping 17 lbs! He's already in some 6 month clothes Unfortunately we are finding out the old wives tale about fatter babies sleeping through the night sooner is not true!
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[robin7361]

hematite: that is really good information! we're in PA, not NY and i bet the lengthy legal battle would be just as long and expensive (if not moreso) than going through the second parent adoption. we're gonna longshot it, though, and as the hospital to put DP's name on the birth certificate anyway. we'll show 'em our MA marriage license. maybe we'll slip through the cracks!

[Care75]

Happy Mother's Day everybody!!

Laura- 17 pounds wow!!! What a big boy! We don't go until next week, but my guess is about 10.5 pounds or so for Harper and Jackson. I'm guessing by looks that Harper will be a few ounces bigger.

I'm sorry he's not sleeping through the night. Harper and Jackson finally are. They sleep until about 6 a.m. every morning (last feeding between 7:30 and 10:00). Horray!!! I heard somewhere that biologically a baby is ready to sleep through the night at 11 pounds. However, of course, they don't always cooperate!!!

I completely understand about the legal stuff. It's not fair at all. It really pi$$es me off especially because it cost us over $25K to have them in the first place. Now we have to spend even more money so that Susan can legally be a mother! Uggh! Our lawyer has been so slow... we sent him our court cost and birth certificate checks over 2 months ago and we still don't have a court date. He said he'd find out on Tuesday, we'll see...

Robin- I hope with the marriage license that it's as easy as just putting your wife's name on the birth certificate!!

Well, my brother and sister-in-law just bought the Bob jogging stroller for their bun-in-the-oven. This is the one I really want. This has convinced DP to at least look at it. Before she said no way even though I keep saying we can probably use it until they are 4-5 years old. Now that they've got it though DP is considering it! Especially since my mom said she'd help pay for it for Mother's Day! Of course, REI has them on sale through TODAY. We'll see if we get that far!!

[Care75]

Oh, I forgot to mention- we bought the "RED" onesies on clearance in like December or January so I don't think they sell them anymore.

We do have matching red "InspiRED" ones that we bought too in 3-6 months so they'll be sporting them soon.

[swell22]

Happy Mother's Day ladies!!!!

I have a breast feeding/pumping question. We are TRYING so hard to do our registry and have managed to flub our way through most of it (we think) but are getting kind of hung up on whether or not to register for a pump (I want to pump because I want Alicia to be able to feed the baby too.) and then what kind of bottles to get. We are confused about the whole thing. Do you pump into a bottle, or bag or does it depend? And I have big boobs to begin with (sorry, maybe tmi) and I am worried about pumps working well or fitting properly. I guess I just don't know what do do or get or anything like that. Do any of you have any advice?

Hope you all are having a good Mother's Day.

[Care75]

Swell- You've come to the right place. At least a few of us are pumping experts! And I had the same questions at the beginning.

I have the Medela double pump (Double Pump in Style, I think). It works great. I used the hospital grade one and other than mine being louder- it's pretty comparable. The pump itself comes with two bottles that you can pump into. Then, the hospital gave us a free kit that had an additional accessory pack with more bottles, shields, valves, etc. So if your hospital gives this (lots do), you'll end up with two sets which is great because then you don't have to wash between each time. I actually have four sets because my aunt gave me hers from the hospital and when Harper was hospitalize they let me use a pump and gave me a new kit too!

I would pump into the bottles that came with at first. Then, as I started to get more at each session I would attach an Evenflo 8 ounce bottle to the pump so that I could get more at once without switching the bottle (now remember, I didn't bring them to the breast after the first two weeks so you may never get so much). But any standard size bottle will fit on.

Then, I stored the milk in the fridge for use or if I'm going to use it right away- within 4 hours- I just leave it at room temperature. Any milk that I put in the fridge I label by date- it can be stored in the fridge for 4-5 days- but usually I used it in a couple of days.

We have a deep freezer full in the garage. I'd transfer the milk to the bags after I pumped and sometimes after it's sat in the fridge. It just can't sit in the fridge more than 24 hours to be frozen. I'd usually freeze in 8 oz. amounts now (wait until I have an 8 oz. amount in a bottle in a day) but at the beginning I'd freeze less. I never bought the Medela bags. I'd just buy the other brands. They are cheaper and you can get them at BRU or Target.

They also have different size shields for your breasts that you can buy at BRU. I have larger breasts too. I tried the extra large ones (30) and the large ones (27). I ended up liking the regular ones (24) best but they aren't very expensive to try.

We ended up using Evenflo bottles without BPA. They work great and fit on the pump too.

[WannaBMom74]

Just wanted to say Happy Mothers Day to all of you hope you all had a great day!!

[swell22]

Care - OMIGOSH! Thank you so much! Your info was so helpful that I am printing it out! School will be out in just a couple weeks, so I will be hanging around more! I can't wait to get back in the swing of things with you girls!