Remember my best friend that couldn't be my friend anymore because of the ridiculous widow of three months that he met and "fell in love with?"

They are getting married this week. And of course I am not invited. Pretty much because he told her that he had feelings for me.

I am just wickedly sad about the whole thing.

I need some help to get out of this funk! Any words of wisdom?


~m

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First- I'm sorry you are losing such a close friend, I hope he wakes up one day and realizes what is going on here.

Second- Why did he tell her that? I mean yeah he gets an A for honesty about his feelings but if he never planned on acting on them and the two fo you managed a friendship for years why say something now. :duh

Third- I'm sorry she is acting like that I mean if you can't trust then maybe you shouldn't be getting married.

I think you may just have to morn the lose of this friend for now, I don't think this will be permanent. If you try pushing the subject to much it may send her over the edge causing real damage. Sometimes if you go with the flow and wait for the dust to settle you can have a talk and go from there.

Have you tried having any contact with her? I mean I know the friendship was with him but have you maybe invited her over for coffee or tea just the two of you? You may not beable to repair things before the wedding but you can continue to work on them from here on out.

I'm sorry I am no help here I know it because in my world if I ever dreamed of asking a friendship to end atleast one that was there long before I was, I would probably be laughed at. But I respect that.

I think my main advice would be to try and reach out to her if you haven't done so already.
Don't even tell him your plan just go with it that way she thinks it geniune and not some planned scheme between the two of you.

Good Luck and let me know what you decide, I'm sorry you are hurting it is never fun to lose a friend no matter what the situation is.

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I can't imagine ever being friends with her K. She nags him constantly about me. Everything about me she compares herself. I asked him if he ever stood up for me, he said he didn't want the fight. So he lies to her and tells her "No baby, you are the best, you are better, or whatever."

I guess that's my answer. I should figure out how to move on and leave it all be, but I'm very sad about it.

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Marian I really don't know the story but wanted to give you a . PM me if you wanna talk.

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Valerie,
I had been best friends with this man for eight years and we did stuff together at least once a week, every week. We were great partners and he loved being with my kids.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, a recently (2months) widowed woman told him how much she had been in love with him for nine years and didn't want anything in the world but him, blah, blah, blah and he fell for it hook, line and sinker. Now a couple of months later, they are getting married.

It's all nuts. I'm going to start a poll and see how long everyone thinks this marriage is going to last... I say 14 months but only because this guy is apparently really very dense.

The biggest problem about the whole thing is I still love him. Very, very much. And I want him to be happy but this is just so way out there that I cannot see how it can possibly work. KWIM?

~m

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Don't you worry Marian, he is mouring your lose too he just can't say it out loud.
Poor guy, he doesn't have a mind of his own.

I know it always S*CKS to lose a friend especially over something so stupid.

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I am so sorry Marian!!

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Nicole (36)
DH (33)
DS Chandler (13)
DD Bailey (12)
DS Ryan (1)

5 Angel Babies watching over our family!


Ryan is HOME!!!

Thank you ladies.

~m

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I'm sorry Marian...I don't have other words beside what the girls already suggested ...hang in there and let the time tells what is the best to do.

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"Love" can be blinding, I only hope that someday he can get those blinders off. But, what a slap in the face not getting invited to the wedding. And, I agree with L on the trust factor. They are for sure not stepping out on the right foot.

I'll join your poll, 11 months!

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Me (34)/DH (32)
TTC #1 since Dec 2004 with MF
2 failed IUIs/1 failed IVF
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- IVF #2 Oct/Nov 08
- Domestic Infant Adoption Dec 2008

We walk by faith, not by sight. --2 Corinthians 5:7

Sounds tough, Marian!

I can't add much, but, I'll be thinking of you.