Urgent Advice Needed!

angie33 · #1 (**permalink**) 12-06-2007, 08:43 PM

Please, anyone w/ knowledge or experience with adopting a child through Family Services...please bear with me..

Last night I cried and cried because Christmas is very difficult and I'm just getting over my fourth loss. My heart and home are empty and I'm finding it harder than ever to find the Christmas spirit.

Early this a.m. I got a surprise phone call from an old friend to say there are three children in my area who need a permanent home. Yes, three. Very little too, 2.5, 1.5, and 6 months. I told her I haven't even started a homestudy and she told me of her SIL who hadn't either and she heard about two local girls and basically told them she wanted those kids. Bottom line. Not long after, they did a homestudy and got those girls. Now this girl knows the ins and outs of the system so to speak and tells me I have a shot at these kids, as it's hard to find a permanent home for all three children and they don't want to split them up. I think the parental rights are terminted, but if not they will be soon. ?????

There's more to the story but I'm very tired and just wanted to put the question out there. Is this doable? Any tips or advice? Anything I should look out for?

I know those are general questions but I'm very new to this and just need some pointers.

Girls, thanks for listening and I appreciate any help you can give!

*Mely1015*/Melissa · #2 (**permalink**) 12-06-2007, 08:49 PM

I don't have any advice since I just started the process, but want it to wish you luck...and maybe those are the kids that need you!

mcweix · #3 (**permalink**) 12-07-2007, 04:54 AM

Hey Angie! I"m not sure about how things go where you live but I would call family services as soon as they open today! Here, they do have such a hard time placing family groups that if there is an interested party they will get the homestudy going immediatly and when you go through family services the adoption costs are much less. Unfortunatly, here, they don't foster adopt children under the age of 5.

Some things you should find out:

1. are parental rights terminated? If not, will they be? When, and if they can tell you, why.

2. Any medical issues with the children? Not that I think you would mind anyways

I know there are more but I'm so excited for you my mind is going blank!

KUP!!!!

theluvof2moms · #4 (**permalink**) 12-07-2007, 05:19 AM

Hi Angie,

I'm sos orry about your losses, I can totally understand the holiday blues, I get them too!

I have not worked with Family Services but I think the advice Chrissy gave you is very good.

Just remember this may still take a couple of months to get those children home so be patient and GOOD LUCK and in your mind you'll know your working for a forever family.

Good Luck!!! KUP!!

Kristine

JBB373 · #5 (**permalink**) 12-07-2007, 06:38 AM

I would also ask what type of placement are they in now - foster, family etc. I would want to know if there will be foster parents or family members trying to get perm. placemnts of these children. Are the children currently split between different homes etc.

I currently have a sibling group of three for the last 8 months - I know if the parents right get term. then there will be family members considered before us - even though we had them for so long. They told me they don't want to split them as the sibling bound is stronger than everything else - trumps - even if its not in the best interest of all the children.

GL.

ruby1979 · #6 (**permalink**) 12-07-2007, 06:49 AM

Angie I think it's a good idea to ask where the children are placed right now like Jenn said. Are there other parties interested in adopting them if and when parental rights are terminated? I will warn you though that fostering or adopting from the state can be a roller coaster ride but so worth it at the end! Good luck & keep us posted.

mildlydelirious · #7 (**permalink**) 12-07-2007, 01:52 PM

I say go for it, go for it, go for it. With all the above caveats as well. Take all these things into consideration and go for it. For one thing, even if these children are not available THERE ARE OTHERS! Tons of sibling groups come into the system and they have a heck of a time trying to place them.

We are considering taking a sib group right now as we are losing our foster/adopt baby that we thought we were adopting for the last 14 or so months. So, like everyone has said, BEWARE, but also rejoice.

If you bring home kids from the system you will know you have done something very, very worthwhile and they will bring great joy to your life. But it can be a whirlwind, to say the least. A giant tornado kind of wind, so hang on to your skirt.

Let us know what's happening! We'll help you through.

~m

leanrog · #8 (**permalink**) 12-08-2007, 08:16 AM

I can't give you any advice since we are doing international adoption and I don't know much about domestic adoption and the foster system but I just wanted to wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do. It definately seems like it's worth checking into