Update

amberl10 · #1 (**permalink**) 10-16-2007, 06:28 PM

As you may recall, our profile was sent to N. Carolina to be shown to 2 or 3 different African American bmoms. Well our profile was shown to one of them today and she chose another family to parent her baby. I am so devastated. I feel like I'm getting my BFN results all over again. I know there are still a few other bmoms that will look at profiles in the near future but it's still so hard. Once the other bmoms have looked at our profile and if our profile is not selected, it will be sent back to our office. At that point I will be letting our sw know that we prefer not to be notified when our profile is looked at unless they have to ask us a question. The rejection is too hard. I'm even really wishing I would have selected another agency but we've put so much money into it so far we can't back out now.

nicoleb · #2 (**permalink**) 10-16-2007, 06:55 PM

I am so sorry. I think you have a good plan about not letting you know.
Since you are homestudy approved, you could always ask to be put in another agencies book. Sometimes I think it is as little as $1000. (Not that that is a small amount, but if it gets you your life time of happiness.....ya know?)
Hugs,
Nicole

mildlydelirious · #3 (**permalink**) 10-16-2007, 10:11 PM

Dang. That is really hard.

This is one race you just don't want to take 2nd place in. I'm sorry.

I think you have a great idea though, about not knowing. That would help me.

Hope you are picked soon!!!

~m

theluvof2moms · #4 (**permalink**) 10-17-2007, 04:08 AM

Oh Amber! I'm so sorry to hear that!
I can understand what you mean by it being like BFN's all over again.

I hope your day comes real soon and I would be right with you asking them to not to tell you anymore when showing your profile.

mcweix · #5 (**permalink**) 10-17-2007, 05:57 AM

There is still 1-2 bmoms waiting to see it yet right? And I think it's a good idea not to know if it's being shown.....I think that would be like waiting to poas...it'll happen soon, it just has to!

bdunkadunk · #6 (**permalink**) 10-17-2007, 07:44 AM

I have been thinking about you and wondering what happened! I'm really sorry, that's hard.

On one hand you want to know you are getting "some action" (as we call it) on your profile but on the other hand it's disappointing when nothing happens. Don't take it too personally! We have had a match meeting were we weren't picked (she obviously did not know what she was missing!) and another time a failed match. We try to find the humor in all situations and just continue with the dang P-word (patience).

Hang in there!!

ruby1979 · #7 (**permalink**) 10-17-2007, 07:53 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that Amber, I wish I could just give you a

. It will happen, it's just all the

that makes us want to

! I also agree with what every one said about not knowing when they show your profile, I hope you get picked real soon!

minerva78 · #8 (**permalink**) 10-17-2007, 05:07 PM

I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through that. I do think your idea is good about not wanting to know anything unless your profile is selected - you've got to preserve your sanity in this process somehow. That is the least they can do for you. I hope your wait is not too much longer!