An Odd Question

Tiffanni · #1 (**permalink**) 02-04-2008, 10:55 PM

I have recently noticed something. We decided to adopt a few years ago now, and in this time I have noticed after reading this board (& others)and talking to other couples that it seems like a lot of the time, it seems to take the men a longer time to warm up to the idea of adopting. Has anyone else noticed this, or am I imagining this? If anyone has also noticed this, any ideas on why that would be the case?
Sorry if this post sounds a bit odd, it was just something that occured to me and got me curious.

theluvof2moms · #2 (**permalink**) 02-05-2008, 06:05 AM

I can't speak to the men part but I have to say although when I forst met DP she was totally into adopting and I was like no, I really want to try and be pregnant atleast once and we can adopt the second baby but when it came down to it after years of ttc I was ready to move onto adoption and DP was like lets try some more and had all these what if scenarios. But when we actually sat down and talked about it DP wasn't ready to give up my dream of being pregnant so it was more out of support to me then an actual concern about adopting. YKWIM?

Hope I understood what you were asking because I have been a little airheaded today.

ruby1979 · #3 (**permalink**) 02-05-2008, 07:35 AM

Tiffani for us it was dh who had to convince me! We are fostering to adopt through our state and we both knew this was something we wanted to do but I was always putting it off for one reason or another. Finally he just called the agency, got the application sent to our home and after a few weeks he convinced me it was now or never! I'm so lucky to have such a pushy husband!!!

nicoleb · #4 (**permalink**) 02-05-2008, 09:06 AM

It took my DH some convincing, but not much because of all the pregnancy losses. The cost is what is scaring him.
Men, aren't they wonderful sometimes?...LOL!

Nicole

mildlydelirious · #5 (**permalink**) 02-05-2008, 09:45 AM

It was my DH that brought home the info and also talked about fost/adopt a ton before I finally went and took a look at it. I wanted to keep TTC but he could see that it was just taking it's toll on me and my body and our pocketbook to keep TTC again and again and again.
~M

Missymonkey · #6 (**permalink**) 02-05-2008, 10:26 AM

My DH is definatly going to be a bit hard to convince! I was ready 2 years ago! He is worried about all the steriotypes, but can you blame him?! I am waiting till the end of this year before I start really pushing the adoption idea. I think that should be fair.

theluvof2moms · #7 (**permalink**) 02-06-2008, 06:05 AM

You know I don't blame people for being scared of some of the stereo types but I have to say I blame them when they allow it to get in the way of finding a true happiness. YKWIM?

JBB373 · #8 (**permalink**) 02-06-2008, 11:09 AM

My DH prefers to have a bio and was also hesistant regarding cost but in the end he is the one that ordered the packet, convinced me, and got the ball going on foster/adoption. Somedays I wished we would have stuck with my side of the fence as F/A sometimes just plain S*ck*! IMO, the waiting game is better than falling in love and totally bonding with kids and then have them taken away and placed back in a place that I don't believe will be nuturing nor safe.