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Kristine
This is a discussion on Kristine within the Adoption and other Options forums, part of the Trying to Conceive - Infertility category; Big Huge Hugs!
I hope your heart is healing a little bit more every day.
Nicole...
I just don't even know were to begin on this. First I know I want to say thank you for all the prayers they have helped so much.
You know this was a complete and total shock when we got the call at 10:30 wednesday night from the director of the agency. I swear I thank God everyday that he gave me L because he knew bringing a child into my life would not be easy and I just can't think of a better partner then her.
This death was senseless and and so preventable. The last picture they sent of him, L thought he was sick and had been e-mailing the agency to get him to a doctor,he looked kinda pale and just lifeless (I didn't think much of it, I just thought it was the way babies sleep) so they took him to the doctor and they determined constipation, well they brought him back to the orphanage and he had severe diarehha and he ended up dying from dehydration on 4-1-08. This is the first time the orphanage has ever lost a baby that was completely healthy and had been referred out to a family. it was just so stupid, you know if he was home this would not have happened we have the means to treat these things. So the phone call comes in and wow has it changed everything.
We have went through crying, laughing, anger, sickness, sadness, you name it and I think we have felt it. I just have so many emotions right now because I think of his birthmother who wanted a better life for him, I think of the nanny who just loved him so much, I think of the agency who had to call us, I think of us how this will change us. I need to find closure here so we have asked about burial arrangements for him and we may fund them if they haven't done things on their own already. If that is out of our control then we will hold a dinner with close family and friends in memory of him. Everyone has been just great sending cards, flowers, calling offering to come and visit, make dinners for us. I mean WOW I feel so loved and supported.
We have not lost all hope though and we are more determined then ever to bring a baby home from Vietnam. The agency has asked that we grieve and keep moving forward because of the uncertainty in Vietnam right now. So we are doing the best we can to do that right now.
Our poor friends who were planning the baby shower had to do some major scrambling as invitations for the baby shower were in the mail that same day we got the call, I think we have been able to recover them all before people received them but there could be a couple that trickled out.
We were so close, I'm not sure why this is my reality right now but I do promise to figure it out and make good. I am seriously considering writing the Adoption Committee at the federal level and explaining to them why it is so important to speed up the process on getting these children home. I know our agency director has started making phone calls she is furious for us and has been just wonderful answering phone calls from us at ALL HOURS of the night and day.
Well I'm sorry if that is all over the place I am still just in a fog and finding that I don't make that much sense at times. Again thank you so much girls, I'm going to try and be more active this week but I'm not sure yet.
I hope you all know I pray every night for your happiness, health and happy endings!!!
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Kristine- Host of Adoptions and Other Options and DP- Lu
International Adoption
Last edited by theluvof2moms : 04-07-2008 at 04:36 AM.
Reason: added some words to make sense
Kristine,
You sound like you are doing well considering how much he** you are going through. My heart still aches for you. I am glad to hear that you are asking questions to the people that need to change things.
Kristine, glad to know that you are going in the right path, this loss will take time to be healed but having the right people and the support it will make this hard time to go in some how easier on you and Lu. My prayers and heart are with you and Lu.
__________________
I am not longer TTC after my IVF , it is in God's hands!
~Hope...Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.~ Author Anonymous
Well the next step is a little bittersweet for me.
When we talked to the agency last week they had said something about there being two children in the orphanage who had not yet been assigned and are only a couple of weeks old. So they will give us one of those referrals. Now this is exciting and I am sure I will love this baby no matter what but at the same time it makes my heart hurt because I don't like that Baby Silas can be replaced so quickly. YKWIM? Although in my heart he will never be replaced, in the public eye I imagine it might seem that way. I guess you could say I am still struggling as far as moving on so quickly. I kind of feel like I don't have a choice with the instability in the country.
So we asked the agency to please send the baby for all the testing and then if all is healthy to please show us the pictures and video and we will make a decision at that time. I imagine it will still be a couple of weeks before we hear anything. Keep your fingers crossed and the prayers going.
Ahh, the world of adoption, and hear I thought this would be my easiest route to building a family.
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Kristine- Host of Adoptions and Other Options and DP- Lu
Good to hear from you Kristine. I think it is great that you may be getting another referral soon. I also understand what you mean about Silas. It is very soon and you have not grieved your loss yet. This baby will never replace Silas, he will always remain in your heart. I really think God is working here. Praying one of these other babies has a clean bill of health and you will soon be bringing your baby home.
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DH: Ross
DS: Isaac
Final Homestudy 12/18/06
Approved 1/3/07
Isaac Avery born 10/20/07
The Call 10/21/07
Isaac home forever 10/23/07
Kristine
Re: Kristine
, it is in God's hands!
