I can't believe this....grrrr

amberl10 · #1 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007, 07:16 AM

So there's another adoption board I go to that was created by my agency. Anyway there is another person on there from my state using the same agency but different social worker. Anyway, this person calls her sw to get an update and see if their profile has been shown. The social worker tells her that there was a birthmom that would be a perfect match but she decided not to show her profile since the birthmom lives in the same town, she thought it would be too uncomfortable for the adoptive parents and so the baby has been placed with another family. I cannot believe this. It is not the sw's place to decide what is and is not comfortable for the adoptive parents, and this sw shouldn't have even told her this, now she's upset as she has every right to be. I emailed my sw and told her about the situation as I do not want it to happen to me.

nicoleb · #2 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007, 07:54 AM

Oh that is too sad. I don't know how social workers can deem themselves judge and jury in those situations. I know my SW decided we needed "time" to recover from our last loss and held up our homestudy by a couple of months because that is what she thought was right.
I am glad you let your SW know your feelings.

Nicole

mildlydelirious · #3 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007, 09:09 AM

Ugh.

How frustrating is that? How small is the town for pete'sake?

~m

theluvof2moms · #4 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007, 10:43 AM

Grrrr---SW's really make me mad sometimes. Thank goodness ours for the most part will ask us how something will make us feel and then go from there.

I mean really what is the purpose of saying, "oh we had this potential match but we decided, nah" are they trying to prove they are doing their job or something. Oy vey..

Amber I'm glad you contacted them directly and laid out your thoughts and feelings on the matter. I sware you have to be so proactive in all of this because you are your own advocate.

LauraH · #5 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007, 02:47 PM

Grrrr is right! Geez - it's not up the the sw to make that call!