I posted up here sometime last year when we had just been licensed as a foster-adopt family and we were waiting for a placement. But I haven't posted in a while because I had been having a difficult time dealing with 2 potential foster-adopt placements that did not work out: a newborn girl in November, that was only with us a few days, and 1 month old preemie boy in April, who was with us for about a month and a half. Those are pretty long stories, but the summary is that both of these placements could have been prevented if DSS had done a more thorough job and if one mom hadn't decided to use the system for babysitting. So I was pretty fed up with DSS! DH and I had decided to move to a smaller place, cut down on expenses and start saving up for private adoption. Then last Monday we got our 3rd placement, a 7 month old girl.
And I just need some positive thoughts because she is definitely the most promosing placement we've had - and we need some good luck for a change!
The baby came into care because her mom just went to jail for an incident that happened in her home involving a weapon and attempted robbery, with others present who conspired to commit this act. The fact that she has admitted to the weapon being in her home and that she has both the victim testifying and a teenager present who was also involved in this incident who has told her story means that it is very likely the biomom will be serving prison time, most likely a few years from what I've learned. And the fact that there is a history of neglect, she has been evicted from her home, and that this baby and another young child were in the home when this incident happened means that she would have to make some MAJOR changes in her life to get her child back, assuming she somehow gets out of jail very soon - which doesn't look likely.
Although several of her friends and family were present when they were deciding on a placement for this girl, no one said they could take her - and we've realized it's probably because they knew this was NOT going to be a temporary situation. So even though she wasn't initially presented as a potential foster-adopt placement, in just a week's time it's looking like it is heading there.
We are just thrilled to have this little girl (who we're calling CC) in our home! She is SUCH a joy and has fit so well into our lives! We've met her grandmom (mom's mother) twice already and have agreed to have continued contact with her and CC's 2 year old brother - Gmom has had legal custody of him for over a year. After all of the crap and unappreciation we've experienced as foster parents, it has been overwhelming the amount of support and gratitude we've gotten from this child's family and friends, who we also met. I can tell everyone really cares about mom and her children, but everyone knows mom just is not capable of being a parent, and I think they are accepting this.
Just a few days ago Gmom asked us if we'd consider adopting this girl - which we said YES! of course - and she told us she'd support us in that and not stand in our way. She says she wants the baby to stay in our home, and she is so pleased to see how well she is being taken care of. Apparently she has not been very involved in this baby's life, due to her mom's doing, and I think she is just thrilled that we've agreed to having visits with her and CC's brother, since we are not obligated by DSS to do grandparent visits - even mom won't get to visit the baby as long as she is in jail. And we're thrilled because though DH and I live within a couple of hours of our families, we don't have any family in this city. If the baby stayed with us, we know we'd have to be more careful about visits once mom got out of prison - but we'll worry about that later IF it gets to that point.
So....I might be back on this board again.
I know we still have a LONG process ahead, but we're going to think positive about this little one, and we definitely need all the support we can get. Yesterday the baby's social worker also asked us if we'd be willing to adopt this girl - and she's only been here a WEEK. So we're thinking DSS may be moving towards terminating mom's rights sooner rather than later. The main unknown factor is the dad, as usual, and that may take a while to sort out. The person who signed the birth certificate claims he's not the father of the child and doesn't want to be involved, and the person who WAS living with mom who said he "could" be the father is currently homeless, jobless and has his other two kids currently in DSS custody who he needs to worry about. Definitely a mess. But the longer she stays with us and we provide a stable home to her, the better everything will be.
Not sure how much I'll really be around, but I wanted to reintroduce myself to all of you!
Hey, SheKnows Guest - we need you! The SheKnows TTC boards aren't going anywhere - but perhaps you'd consider helping us grow our 
Hoping 3rd time is the charm
SHAVON
Currently fostering a little girl
Re: Hoping 3rd time is the charm
Shavon
that CC gets to stay with you forever.
