Home study done!

tiff912 · #1 (**permalink**) 04-03-2007, 11:13 AM

Hello to everyone. I have come on here off and on. We recently almost had an adoption through someone we know who knew someone. It hasn't worked out but we learned a lot. I know this process is like a roller coaster. Anyways, we went ahead and got a private home study done in case anything else comes up. Our church and others around are partnering with DHS to get all the kids in foster care a home. WE have gone to the meeting and looking into that. We will foster if we don't get a baby at some point.

We are also trying to make a big decision-whether to do one round of IVF or not. My mother has "given" (I say that because I feel like it is a loan because I want to repay her) us the money and insists we try once. However, knowing the chances that it won't work I just don't know if I want to go through all of that. That money could be used to help adopting more babies. I start spotting a week before AF so I don't even know how it would stick. Plus with my endo and my FSH is a little higher than normal. Dh and I said we would start the process and agreed if at any point it didn't look good then we would stop but I don't even know if I want to do that. I would love to be pregnant and have a biological child but I just don't have much hope that it would work.

Do you girls have any thoughts or opinions?

Ann K · #2 (**permalink**) 04-03-2007, 05:16 PM

First of all, good luck with your decision. It is a tough one. Do you mind me asking how old you are? Dh and I adopted our son from foster care than had a bio child through ivf and now would like to add another child. You can stop an ivf cycle if it isn't looking good. We did that for our last cycle since we are paying out of pocket. I am personally so glad we did do ivf b/c having a child from birth has been an amazing experience for us that we didn't have with adoption since we adopted an older child. Many people do have success with ivf so I wouldn't count yourself out before trying.

tiff912 · #3 (**permalink**) 04-03-2007, 05:41 PM

We are both 30. however, I have a higher than normal FSH, severe endo and repeated cysts. I would love to have a bio child. I will talk to the RE when I go for my cd3 visit. I also spot for a week before AF and several days after. I don't see how it could stick. We have thought about just trying and seeing if things look good.

Tiffanni · #4 (**permalink**) 04-03-2007, 07:29 PM

I just wanted to throw in a good luck with your decision also. It's a toughie.
But, whatever you decide will be the right thing.
May I ask what your fsh levels were?

tiff912 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-03-2007, 08:20 PM

I think it was 16.something and their normal lab range is up to 15. It isn't terribly abnormal but with all the other problems it just makes me think it won't work.

theluvof2moms · #6 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 06:31 AM

Hi Tiffany,
You are faced with a tough decision. Personally I would go for it I like to take the wondering out of things. So rather then just wonder if it could have been I say give it a try. But that is just me and only you and DH know what is best for your family.

Good Luck with your decision and keep us posted.

JBB373 · #7 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 07:30 AM

Hi Tiffany,

I too wouldn't want to deal with the what ifs . . . Like Ann said you can always stops a cycle midway if it doesn't look good. I would like to just throw out there accupuncture. My FSH was 9.9 and after acc. it was lowered to 6.3 and I'm now 7w5d pregnant for IVF#2 . . . we are also concurrently pursuing adoption through the state which has free adoptions . . . of course only you know what is right for you and DH. I wouldn't do IVF just for the sake of your MIL as it is your body and you have to make quite the commitment on the road to IVF.

Good luck whatever you decide.

mildlydelirious · #8 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 11:02 AM

My experience at 17 FSH with endo, cysts, etc. was four failed IVF cycles. One failed donor egg cycle and success with our DEFET.

I can't begin to tell you what is right for you, but I thought I'd share what happened with us.

Best wishes for whatever direction you choose.

~m

mildlydelirious · #9 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 11:03 AM

OH! I forgot to say

!!!

~m

llamamama02 · #10 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 01:35 PM

Hi there! My DH and I decided to do IVF after several m/c and then 2 yrs w/o getting pg on our own. We got pg. with our fisrt and only IVF cycle only to m/c. However I am glad we went through with it b/c we won't be playing the "what if" card later on. I know we did everything we could have done to get pg. and can now move on and close those doors. It is a tough decision and no one else can make it for you. Good luck!

tiff912 · #11 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 05:16 PM

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. It was especially nice today because I am hurting so bad. I told DH that I can't take this much longer and I am ready to get rid of all my parts.

mildlydelirious · #12 (**permalink**) 04-04-2007, 10:09 PM

Sorry you are hurting so bad.

~m