I know that my situation is different from you all, but I am an adopting mom and wondering if any of you can relate to what's going on with me.
I tried for years to conceive but couldn't so my partner, bless her heart, gave it a try & got pregnant on our last attempt. Our son was born in February.
We met with the probate judge this morning about our co-parent adoption. Everything went well and there were no problems - we have to get a bunch of info together and bring it back. I left there feeling like I was going to cry, but I couldn't figure out why. It took me a while to figure it out, but to be honest, this whole thing really pisses me off. I know I should be grateful that I even have the opportunity to legally adopt, but I can't help feeling - Who the hell is this old white guy to have the right to tell me ifI can be my kids mom?! The fact that I have to get frickin' letters of recommendation from family and friends - it just makes me feel like...I don't know what it makes me feel like, but it just feels wrong. A note from my doctor?! Statements from his bio-grandparents?! Why do all these people get input on if I get to be a parent?! It's bad enough that I can't concieve on my own. I know people are going to write glowing letters but that's not the point. I guess the bottom line is that all of this make me feel even less like his "real" mom.

Have any of you had feelings like this?

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Laura
DW Carolyn
& IVF Miracle Caleb Atticus

Hi Laura,
I think I can kinda relate to how you feel a little.

In my situation L is actually doing the adoption and once baby gets home for 6 months I will second parent adopt. I find this to be completely annoying but I kind of look at like the whole marriage thing, I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I am a good wife nor do I need it to tell me I am the real mom.

The other thing I do is I use it as an oppertunity to read all the wonderful things people right about me. hahaha
You know sometimes they say things that they wouldn't normally tell you so it helps me feel loved. Hey whatever works. Right??? You are the mom and no one can take that away from you, it is like passing a test and your gonna pass with flying colors!!!



I know it sucks but it is there to protect you in this crazy world we live in.

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It does stink. Becoming a foster parent involves a lot of the same thing. Plus we had to do a crap load of weekends doing classes. I kept thinking that if everyone was required to do what we had to do to become foster parents before they could have kids, then there wouldn't actually really be a need for foster parents. KWIM?

Don't let it get to you. You are the "real" mom. I think they think they are protecting children, but really, how many really scary people do you see out there actually trying to take financial, emotional and mental responsibility for children??!

Hang on. When it's all said and done it will be wonderful. And we will rejoice with you.


~m

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