It was awful!

mildlydelirious · #1 (**permalink**) 04-25-2007, 02:48 PM

I mean REALLY awful. Of course Lilly's aunt absolutley adored her. Who wouldn't?

I was in a state of anxiety the entire visit. We met at the mall and we were only there for like two hours but it seemed like forever.

She gave us NO sense whatsoever of what she was planning to do. She shows very little emotion. It's awfully weird. Both Art and I commented after we left that she plays it awfully close to the vest. Neither of us were able to read her and Art and I are both really experts at reading people.

We are still waiting for our caseworker to call to tell us what she said after.

. I canNOT believe she hasn't called us yet. We are dieing here.

Somebody please tell me it's going to be okay no matter what happens! Saying prayers here every mintue. I have no idea what's going to happen so why do I imagine the worst? Why can't I get away from thinking like that?

~m

MHG · #2 (**permalink**) 04-25-2007, 05:35 PM

Oh Marian I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine the fear, anxiety and just plain hurt you must be feeling. I will pray that the verdict is truly what will be best for Lilly. Of course I know that will mean you will be her mom. My prayers are with you.

mildlydelirious · #3 (**permalink**) 04-25-2007, 06:38 PM

Lay me out in traffic.

Her aunt is pursuing custody.

I can't even tell you how much I ache right now.

~m

BellyBellyBelly · #4 (**permalink**) 04-25-2007, 07:06 PM

Oh Marian, I am so so sorry to hear that. Lily belongs with you! My heart is aching for you too.

JBB373 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-25-2007, 07:42 PM

Marian -

I can't imagine all the emotions you are going through. I know in some states that after have a foster kiddo for six months that you actually can obtain more rights I think its called "defacto parents" Basically it gives a little leg up for the foster parents because they have a bond with the child whereas the aunt although blood does not! Do you know if AZ has any such laws?

I really hope that everything works out for the best and Lilly is forever yours! As a side note it makes me wonder if the aunt just wanted to meet Lilly to see if see was a mutant or something before she decided to pursue custody . . . the question I have is why hasn't she expressed interest prior to this Lilly is 7 months already!

Hugs!

mildlydelirious · #6 (**permalink**) 04-25-2007, 11:32 PM

I have the same questions Jenn. Where has she been? Even after she expressed that she might have interest when Lilly was five months she still didn't ask for any pictures, any reports, nothing. NOW, after she meets this gorgeous happy child she decides that it is okay? To make it worse, she didn't even come to Arizona to see Lilly, she came here for a funeral. But, you know as well as I do that the states say to pursue a familial placement first and foremost.

When are they going to come up with a better system??!!

In the state of Arizona we don't have any smart laws like parents defacto. That would just make too much sense.

I have decided to not put the cart before the horse. I have time to adjust here. The aunt still has to pass her homestudy and do all of her transition, etc. There is a long, long way to go. Anything could still happen. In the mean time I am praying like crazy for the faith to believe that God will take good care of Lilly. I need to remember that Lilly is first God's child and he has her best interests at heart.

Please

that I have the faith to make it through this and to remember this is about Lilly's life, not mine.

~m

theluvof2moms · #7 (**permalink**) 04-26-2007, 04:41 AM

Oh Marian my heart is just hurting for you and your family. I just want you to know first that I will be

and

for you all. Oh gosh I really don't even know what to say but I'll be here to support you through this journey.

I can not believe she was there for a funeral and not even to see Lilly that is just insane. Please keep in mind she may not even know what it will take to pursue and adoption right now family or not it doesn't really sound like she is the go getter type. She may just drop the ball. I can not for the life of me understand why she has not been a bigger part of Lilly's life and she thinks because she saw her for 2 hours that she might actually be able to raise this child.

Stay calm and continue to enjoy that little bundle of cuteness and remember you have made a lasting impression on that little girl your family has given her a wonderful start on life.

But I have to say I'm not really counting on this aunt getting it all done. My heart and prays are with you all stay strong your a wonderful person.

nicoleb · #8 (**permalink**) 04-26-2007, 07:42 AM

Marian,
I am so sorry that her aunt can't see how well she is thriving with you.
Please know that I am thinking of you and praying it all turns out how it should.
Hugs,
Nicole