Arrgghhh!!

nicoleb · #1 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 01:29 PM

Well the hits just keep on coming. Our international SW emailed us to tell us that the rules have changed and we won't meet (or shall I say I) the age requirements to adopt an infant from Colombia, only a toddler. THIS SUCKS. They keep changing the rules as we play the game! This isn't fair. I really want to just lay down kicking and screaming like a toddler right now.

I am starting to think that maybe we just weren't meant to have a child together.

Oh...and then I got kicked in the head even better, my DD got her first visit from AF today. My baby isn't my baby any more.

I give up.

Nicole

mcweix · #2 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 03:59 PM

Nicole, don't give up yet, a toddler needs love too and that is age 1-3 right? We have friends that adopted a boy from russia last year that was 18 months and he was more like a 6 month old. Maybe your path isn't to an infant, it's to a toddler. Sorry about DD though, that's rough!

nicoleb · #3 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 06:04 PM

I know that toddlers need love, but I can't deny my DH the baby experience that he so much wants. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but we want to bond with a baby, not fight through the bonding with a toddler who has live a few years in an orphanage.

I am just wondering how much more crap I am supposed to go through to get to our child. This isn't fair anymore. We have gone through so much stuff and at some point we have to catch a break right???
Hopefully we will get picked for a domestic infant. We are THIS close to hiring an attorney and spending all the money we would have spent on international to find us a baby here.

I am feeling pretty bitter about this whole thing right now so I better stop.

Nicole

Chopstickgirl · #4 (**permalink**) 10-24-2007, 07:59 PM

I'm so, so sorry. That's one major reason we decided on domestic-(um besides the fact Keith won't fly

) is that i don't want to deal with the international bs right now. maybe down the road, but now, no thanks. plus i want that brand new baby my heart has been longing for, for 18m now

*hugs* to you, and don't give up, just take a step back, reevalute your options, and move forward.

And EEK AF so soon? I was lucky and didn't get mine til 14 LOL

theluvof2moms · #5 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 05:20 AM

Oh Nicole,
You should not feel ungrateful at all; we all know what is best for our families. You know maybe you should look at this more as maybe you are meant to do domestic adoption instead of your not meant to have a baby together. You two have endured way more than any couple should have to, but you will get your baby. I know it, it just might not come to you the way you had originally planned.

Domestic adoption is a wonderful thing and there are so many avenues you could take maybe you could explore that a little.

You know one thing I hate about the adoption option is so many of us are at this desperate point in our lives so the extra road blocks really just mess with our heart and souls.

Don't give up!!! And I'm sorry but 35 being to old to adopt an infant is just freaking absurd. I mean really!!!

Hang in there honey, you have a wonderful profile and any searching bmom would be lucky to have you as a choice.

bdunkadunk · #6 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 06:14 AM

I'm so sorry Nicole! That sucks! You have been through WAY too much so I totally see why you feel the way you do. I'm rooting for you!

mcweix · #7 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 06:27 AM

Nicole, I noticed that you are in Minnisota, not that far from me in Wisconsin. Please check out the following links:
Pauquette Children’s Services, Inc.
315 W. Conant Street
P.O. Box 162
Portage, WI 53901-0162
608-742-8004

http://www.adoptpas.com/International.htm

You and DH qualify (age wise) for many of their international programs and they are traveling right now! We checked in with them when we first started but chose to go domestic instead (I don't fly). It would be a drive to get to them (they are about 1/2 hour your side of Madison WI) but something to check in to is this is what your heart is telling you. I also have a few more places in WI if you want more info! Hope this helps!

mildlydelirious · #8 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 07:11 AM

Sometimes the longer the journey the bigger the reward.

Hang in there. Know that good things are coming your way.

~m

nicoleb · #9 (**permalink**) 10-25-2007, 09:28 AM

Thanks ladies. Sometimes I just look at my life and can't believe it is what it is. It seemed insurmountable yesterday. After a few beers last night with friends and a good nights sleep, things are looking better.
I do think we are done with international. I don't play games real well when the rules get to change all the time.

K- I need to update my signature...I am still wishing I was 35.

I guess the age when you will travel is what they go by. At best I will be 38 if everything went perfect and more likely I will be 39-40, so that puts me out of age range.

Marian- I sure hope something good happens....this has been a long road. Maybe we will win the lottery...oh wait we have to play it first!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and information. It means alot!

Nicole