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07-24-2008, 12:22 PM
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SKLoyal
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,487
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I need some input or advice guys...
your advice/opinions??... are you a SAHM, or a working mom? What do you like about it, what do you not like about it?? Help me guys!!!!
DH really really really wants me to stay home with the kids and I really really want to but then again I really dont want to quit my job either!! (wow, lots of reallys)
Anyways! What should I do!!! ??? !!!
It is SO confusing and stressful!! I want to cry 24/7!
I want to quit so I can be with the kids, but I dont want to quit b/c we NEED the money! I dont know what to do! I wish somebody would just tell me what to do and how to do it! There is no way I can just quit and still make it! NO WAY!
DH and I have decided that we are going back to church and we are going to start tithing our 10%, well... with us going minus in our bank every check how are we going to start tithing??? I know tithes should come first, so thats how! BUT what are we going to do about everything else! I wish someone had all the answers for me!
Sorry to ramble I know you guys care less about this!
BUT... just your advice/opinions??... are you a SAHM, or a working mom? What do you like about it, what do you not like about it?? Help me guys!!!!
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07-24-2008, 12:33 PM
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Princess Picture Pusher
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 10,068
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
I am so sorry you are so stressed over that decision. Why does your DH want you home so bad when you really, really need your income to make ends meet? And I think it's wonderful to give the full tithe, but ouch, that money has to come from somewhere to pay the bills that will now be 10% shorter every due date. So IMO, working is what you need to do for now.
Is part time an option? Would you have child care for part time hours? Would part time pay cover your expenses?
For me, it would not. I work 40 hr weeks with no overtime and no holidays. I have to take a vacation day (paid) for holidays and sick days. I hate leaving Chase every day, but since my DH is self employed, we need my insurance and my paycheck. I don't even come close to paying half of our bills (but that is due to our high mortgage)
If I were you, I would make a long pro and con list. I don't feel stressed at home because I have "me" time during the day and that is a pro. I have my own spending money, contribute to my retirement fund (through my job), our house account, my personal savings account, my personal IRA and eventually Chase's college fund. I don't ask DH for money and I love that I don't feel like I am spending "his." All of those are pros, to me, for working full time aside from the obvious "we need the money."
He can't use the "I work" excuse about not keeping the house clean. I do, too, darn it! Now get to helpin'. LOL
We struggle to make all of our payments every month so I know if I didn't work, it would be soooo much worse.
Good luck....write it all down and see what you come up with.
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Stacey (38)
DH Steve (38)
DS Chase 2-13-07
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07-24-2008, 12:36 PM
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SKSuperGuru
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,317
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
First of all, I know where you're coming from! Second, good for you for realizing your priorities-- God will greatly bless your financial situation if you are giving Him that first 10%. When we started tithing, the blessings started flowing... even little things like our produce seemed to last longer in the fridge! You are headed on the right path!!!!
I worked outside the home (as a teacher) until school ended this June. I'm officially a SAHM now. Finances are scary, especially with my dh starting his own business right now. I just became a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant last month so that I could still contribute to the household income and be home with my LO (soon to be 2 LO's!). The initial start-up for a MK business is very small and the potential is huge. I cannot promote it enough! If you want more info about it, send me a pm! I guess I'm saying, if SAH full-time isn't an option, maybe consider something that allows you to WAH or set your own hours?
Ultimately, I think you should pray about the job thing and see where God wants you. It's a hard call, especially when money is tight already. Keep us posted!
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Beth
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07-24-2008, 12:53 PM
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Host-ess Potato Chip
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 15,052
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
I'm a SAHM mom and I love it. I'm the first to admit though that if I could, I'd find a part time job to do on the nights or weekends, it would be awesome. I'd like to earn a bit of money and it would be nice to have some more adults to talk to during the week. Is there a way to maybe get a part time job and then you could help with the finances and stay home with the kids?
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07-24-2008, 01:17 PM
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SKLoyal
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,487
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
Thanks guys! I like all of your inputs so far! I think I will do me a pro/con list and see what it shows!
There is no way I could afford a P/T job... to me... it would be better to just be at home. now maybe a Work AT home job.. maybe! I sold Avon before a long time ago... it was.. i live in a small town though. I'm not so sure MK would work b/c of that! Plus.. MK is so expensive to me!! (I guess anyways.. .i dont wear make up! )
But I do want something! we could make it if I quit.. if I got 1 child to babysit.. but I'm not so sure I want to babysit!! you know! I dont know!! I've never been so stressed in my entire life!
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07-24-2008, 01:26 PM
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SKMagnificent
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,239
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
I am a SAHM and I love it. I am lucky that Hubby makes enough to support it. There were a few months over the summer last year where we thought I would have to look into work, but eveything worked itself out. Some days are rough on me, there are times that I feel like I go days without speaking to an adult.
i would just make a list of the pros and cons like Stacey said.
As far as the tithing goes, good for you. I do not give to the church too often, I give about 10% each pay period to the battered women's shelter that helped me out years ago, I like to think that He considers it the same, it is going to Him, even if it does not go to the church we attend. I, too, noticed that things started looking up once we were able to do that...good luck, but please don't stress yourself over it. Perhaps you can get a few things worked out first? Like we had a Sears account that was bleeding us dry...hubby took out a loan to just pay that off and it worked out that we saved a few thousand in interest over what we would have made just making the minimum payment each month. Banks are really much nicer (imo) to be indebted to than those big companies.
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Dustin Drake~02/27/07 Ariel Celeste~08/25/03 Alana Skye~06/25/97
Last edited by Jinxie; 07-24-2008 at 01:28 PM.
Reason: horrid typos
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07-24-2008, 01:35 PM
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SKLoyal
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Let me know if you find my mind
Posts: 2,441
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
I work outside the home. Although I do wish I could afford to just work part time, but having no insurance is a big deal. So with just one income we would not be able to live, eat, and own our home. So full time work is for me. But I like being able to get out of the house. I couldn't be at home with nothing to do all the time. Only so much cleaning, cooking etc I could do. I know I would be bored being home 24-7. I know it works for some, just not for me. Even if I could afford it.
I think you and your DH would really need to talk this out. Its nice he would want you to stay home, but don't it just because, you don't want to regret staying home...would cause problems in your marriage down the line IMO.
Good luck.
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07-24-2008, 01:39 PM
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SKLoyal
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,487
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Re: I need some input or advice guys...
We filed for Bankruptcy almost a year ago.. and still not doing well! So all we are paying is... bankruptcy, house, loan payment from long time ago, light bill, water, trash, cell phones, insurance and daycare! So I'm not so sure what all we can get rid of!!
I'm not to worried about "not having an adult to talk to" b/c my mom lives 3 minutes away, plus I have 4 friends that all live within 30 mins of me... they all have children, so I thought if I did quit I would DEFENITLY set up a playdate once a week or something!
i just dont know!
Another reason why its so stressful... We need to make the decision QUICK! Trey starts school on Aug. 18th, and thats what brought this all up to begin with!! I need to quit so I can take him to school and pick him up! He could ride the bus but the bus wont stop at my house b/c I live within 2 miles from the school!! Aint that some crazy BS!! I could drop him off at school on my way to work and I could leave work to go get him (on my lunch hour) but do you know how much that would kill us in gas??? It just wouldnt be worth it! So I either have to quit or find a way for him to get home from school!  HELP! LOL, I'm seriously going crazy over this!
anybody on food stamps and no if we would be eligable?
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