Okay at the moment I am ok...I feel OK but honestly on the inside I am not Ok. I guess I just wanted it to much~I think I am starting to believe in this (seriously!) my beta was negative. I just don't understand. I just have to accept the fact that is wasn't my time. Although in a way I feel blessed because I did pray to God that I didn't want to pregnant if it wasn't going to work out (m/c). I am just so angry at myself for getting my hopes so high, I knew better than that, just like I knew better than testing early. I always wear my guard and BAM when you drop your guard you get plowed over.
I talked to the nurse about just doing femara and she said it proably wouldn't be worth my wild since my follicles didn't really do much on Femara alone. So the nurse then went on to tell me to just call in August with my cycle after my rest period. I told her I had to go back to work in August and since it is contract work we cannot take any time off until after our 90 days unless it is like a family emergency or something. I then told her how stressful it was for me to be stimming while working (a teacher for 3-4-5yrs old. and 15 of them!) and I just didn't think I wanted to do it anymore. She also suggested maybe the cycle would land on a Sat (HAHA) I asked her if I came in for a baseline when I get af if she thought the re would let me do one more cycle of injections?? She said we will have to find out what your E2 was and I will ask him. AMAZING About an hour later she called me back and said that was FINE!! I am amazed~I learned something today if never hurts to ask! The nurse just told me to give her a call. So hey that was at least some good news. This is where I get confused she said dr. also wants to start you on prometrium on cd 18. I said why was it low? )not really knowing what I am talking about except it needs to be above 10 or some like it at 20 to support pregnancy. She told me it was 5.5 does anyone know what that means? I thought to myself are you kidding me more meds?? You should see my purse I am seriously a walking pharmacy. Enough ranting I think I feel a wee bit better now I just need some serious prayers for *no cysts on baseline*. My husband is going to flip out he quit his job on Monday to start his own business and had told me that if this cycle didn't work out he wanted to put everything on hold until next Jan (which is a whole other rant in its self). So this is going to so be interesting! *BIG SIGHS* Thank you so much for allowing me to get this off my chest and I super sorry this is so long.

*I got a positive preg test 12 days past the trigger* so I was told to come in for a beta. I also had one at 11dptrigger* Don't know what happened there. But I will NEVER test early. They say the trigger leaves your symtem at 1,000 iu a day (or so') and I took 10,000 iu...*

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Vanessa (25) DH~Matthew (26)

OK I am confused--you got a pos pg test at 12 dpt but your beta was negative? Do you know what your beta was? Was it a 5? SOmetimes they call anything lower than 10 a neg but I have a friend who had hers taken and it was a 5 and they told her she was not pg--but she was. Your P is low though. It needs to be a 10 or better but I feel better when it is closer to 20. So I say if you still continue to get pos hpts--what brand are you using--then you need to be on the P supps. Ughhh--I am sorry this is not easier.

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Tracie
DS#1 5/8/99 (Clomid 3 cycles, 1 50mg and 2 100mg) weaned at 27 mo pp after getting pg with ds#2
DS#2 3/25/02 (conceived while bfing ds#1(25 mo old), no ppaf) weaned at 24 mo pp to get ppaf back
3 Angels 03-2004, 06-2004, 07-2004
DS#3 7-14-05 (Clomid 2 cycles, Femara & hcg at 5dpo 1 cycle) weaned at 31 mo pp
1 Angel 12-2007
TTC#4
Cycle 1: Femara 5 mg(cd4-8), HCG 10,000 trigger cd 13
Cycle 2: Femara 5 mg(cd5-9), HCG 10K trigger cd13, 200mg prometrium
Cycle 3: Femara 5 mg(cd5-9) HCG 10K cd12, 200 mg P 11 dpo hcg 69, P 55.6
17 dpo hcg 1421

Vanessa I am so sorry. I know how discouraging this must be. What a roller coaster with a positive test and neg beta.
Don't beat yourself up too much for getting your hopes up. You are only human and it is completely normal to hope for the best possible outcome. When it doesn't happen it's hard not to think "I should have prepared myself for this" but that is really hard to do all the time.
I hope everything works out for a new cycle and a no cyst baseline.
Big hugs.

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KimberlyBB#2
TTC BB#1 - 6 years-Finally in 2004
DS - 3 years old - Femara baby
Now TTC BB#2

Thanks ladies.

I got a pos. FRER on and 11 dptrigger & 12dptrigger which would have been 10 dpo and 11dpo so my re's nurse sent me in to do a beta. My beta came back negative and my Prog. was a 5.5. I hope this makes more sense. I thought this was too early for a beta but I guess not she said something would show up if I was preggers. So I figured with the pos. preg. test why not go ahead and do it. BIG mistake. I learned never to test early and I will always wait 14 past the trigger from here on out.

When you do the prog. is it a pill or a supp? I already take 4 pills a day plus a injection during the 2ww.

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Vanessa (25) DH~Matthew (26)

Oh Nessa, I am so sorry!!!! Don't beat yourself up over getting your hopes up though- You need to have a positive attitude to survive infertility treatment. A break from trying might not be the worst thing, but don't quit!!! You deserve to get everything you want.
If you do take some time off- keep taking the baby asprin and prenatals- just in case your miracle happens on it's own.

KUP... I will keep praying for you!

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3/12
1st u/s 3/21/08 1 healthy gestational sac!!!!
2nd u/s 4/3/08 1 beautiful "baby" HB 122 bpm
3rd u/s 5/16/08 baby doing great, HB 166
4th u/s 7/1/08.... baby doing great, HB 164
EDD- 11/26/08!!!

Mary Beth

My P supp is Prometrium(and it says on the bottle not to take when pg which I have issues with but many a mom has taken it and it was necessary to have a baby) and it was a pill that I took orally. Some women take it vaginally--and it is suppose to have less s/e and work better that way but my current doc does not prescribe it that way. I have taken it that way in the past and it was also a bit messy. So have you tested again with an hpt? Is it neg? Is it darker? I wish they would have given you a number rather than just say it is negative. Can you call and get an exact number? If not that is ok--but it is really our information so I don't know why they are sometimes stingy with it!! I do believe your plan to wait til 14 dpt is a good idea in the future.

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Tracie
DS#1 5/8/99 (Clomid 3 cycles, 1 50mg and 2 100mg) weaned at 27 mo pp after getting pg with ds#2
DS#2 3/25/02 (conceived while bfing ds#1(25 mo old), no ppaf) weaned at 24 mo pp to get ppaf back
3 Angels 03-2004, 06-2004, 07-2004
DS#3 7-14-05 (Clomid 2 cycles, Femara & hcg at 5dpo 1 cycle) weaned at 31 mo pp
1 Angel 12-2007
TTC#4
Cycle 1: Femara 5 mg(cd4-8), HCG 10,000 trigger cd 13
Cycle 2: Femara 5 mg(cd5-9), HCG 10K trigger cd13, 200mg prometrium
Cycle 3: Femara 5 mg(cd5-9) HCG 10K cd12, 200 mg P 11 dpo hcg 69, P 55.6
17 dpo hcg 1421

My Progesterone is a suppository taken vaginally. It is a little messy - you need to wear a liner while on them. I take one in the morning and one before bed - the nightime one is no big deal as your laying down so not really messy. Just the morning one. I feel quite a few s/e on P that replicate Pregnancy s/e so it's hard not to have it mess with your mind. I am glad that it isn't another pill as I too take several and didn't want to take another!
Keep positive. My first round through fertility was 6 years with so many disappointments. The month before I got my BFP I had a great cycle, all looked good and it was negative. I was ready to give up and quit but my dh talked me out of it and the next month I finally got pregnant. It is soooo hard but keep going through the motions and doing what you've got to do. You'll get there!

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KimberlyBB#2
TTC BB#1 - 6 years-Finally in 2004
DS - 3 years old - Femara baby
Now TTC BB#2

I'm sorry Nessa. Like everyone says, don't give up completely. A rest might help; I got my BFP the month after we got back from vacation, so sometimes that helps. Just to not have to dwell on it all the time. Keep the faith!

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TTC #2 since 3/06
11 cycles on Femara--BFN!
Feb. 25/08--BFP on 12th cycle!!!!!
EDD Oct.31-Nov.2/08!