Onto The Next Cycle

mb80 · #1 (**permalink**) 09-03-2007, 08:22 AM

Hello all.... Bad news, this months is a bust. We were out last night celebrating our anniversary, and we had an unexpected visitor. I feel like such a failure. I cried at the resturant..... I must have looked like such an idiot. I was considering testing yesterday too but didn't b/c i thought it was too early and then AF shows up and slaps me in the face... yet again. My cycles keep getting shorter and shorter. I am considering today day 1, not yesterday b/c it was late, that puts me at a 24 day cycle. Is there even enough time for implantation and "stickage" if I start losing my lining on 10dpiui? I did test today, thinking maybe it was spotting, not AF, but it was the fastest BFN EVER! I also was feeling the normal cramps on Saturday, I told DH on the way to dinner that I was 99% certain that I was not PG- didn't expect to prove myself right so quickly though.

Does anyone know if the Ovidrel is 100% effective at making you O? I feel like giving up. I don't know how much more heart break I can take.

I suggested adoption to DH, I am a huge advocate, my oldest brother is adopted and I could never imagine my life without him. I would want to adopt even if I could have my own children.... DH said no- lets wait until he is 40- then consider it.

AGGHHHH..... I better go- starting to cry again and I need to go do something to get my mind off of this... One good thing- my house will be spottless....

Thanks for listening...

Mommie2Ava&Presley · #2 (**permalink**) 09-03-2007, 11:11 AM

Mary Beth,

Sorry that AF showed up and sort of ruined your special evening. Have you talked to your doc about progesterone supplements to help maintain your lining? Just a thought. I know absolutely nothing about Ovidrel (sorry about that). Will you be calling your doc tomorrow? You might ask him about progesterone and its effect on uterine lining. Try to look forward and not down. It will happen at just the right time. I know that isn't what you want to hear right now, but it is true. And when it happens you will be happier than you've ever imagined you could be.

bebedu · #3 (**permalink**) 09-03-2007, 01:05 PM

mary beth,

i was so hoping that i didnt remember your screen name and it wasnt you posting onto the next cycle. god, i hate this for you. dont feel bad about reacting like you did at the resturant. i would have done the same.

i had a mini break down today as well in the woods while DH and i were on a bike trail that was really hard for me to navigate. i threw my bike and starting hyperventilating/crying because i cant understand why all of this is so hard for me and why the brokeness of my physical self is so much less painful than the brokeness of my mental self.

i have a bad feel already about this cycle for me too. im crampy and spotty already and its only day 16. believe me if anyone can relate to your pain it is all of us. the people who live their lives based on follicle size, ovulation surges, calendar days and such.

my hubby also wants to look at adoption as a last resort. i think its a guy thing. cause im ready to start the paperwork as well. i dont think that ovidrel is a for sure thing because why else would people not just get pregnant everytime with it? if it were for sure it would work everytime. or what if when it did cause the follicle to release there was no egg present or if there was an egg it wasnt mature enough. lord knows all of us have enough sperm waiting on an egg so that couldnt be an issue only if there is already a known problem. i agree with the previous poster in that you may need to ask your doc. about progesterone suppliments the next time. that may be what it takes.

sorry for the long reply this is just the scenario that i play out in my head all the time. we all know what the positive result is but i just try and prepare myself for the why's of the negative result. my heart aches a little more today for you.

Constance_13 · #4 (**permalink**) 09-03-2007, 01:17 PM

I am so VERY VERY VERY Sorry!!!!!!

I am not 100% sure on all the inns and outs of Ovidrel But I have just learned that taking the shoot you will not get any results off OPK's or Fertility monitors. I am not sure how you would able to confirm you O'ed....hmmm....maybe only the blood test?

I know this is a horrible road to travel and the lows are so very very low BUT we are all here for you and have ALL been there!!! Everyone’s journey is different and we all will find the right "recipe" that works for our bodies. I hope yours will be found very soon!!!! I know it took me just over 6 years on and off but mostly on!!!! Just try to keep thinking in the end this will we more then worth it and it will be a great stories to tell your kids and grandkids.....they will all feel so very special, wanted and loved!!!! I know that’s hard to hold on to now but if it gives you a little peace its worth looking at and day dreaming of.

Please let us know if we can help in any way!!!! GOOD LUCK next CY!!!! I wish you every success and hope you find your right recipe!!! You are in my thoughts.

mommy524 · #5 (**permalink**) 09-04-2007, 07:34 AM

So sorry MB I totally know what your going through. I wish you luck next cycle. My cycles are very very short too. I drives me nuts.

mb80 · #6 (**permalink**) 09-04-2007, 07:57 AM

Hi Everyone, and THANK YOU all for your kind words and support. It really means a lot.
Well- I just spoke to the nurse, she said my cycle sounds normal... If I was normal, I wouldn't have to call her... but ANYWAY. She said there is plenty of time to get PG even if my Luteal phase is only 10 days. DH keeps saying that they don't want me to get PG b/c then I wouldn't need to go there and they would not make any $ off of me.

They are going to call in a refill on my Femara and I have an appt. on the 13th for the follie scan for this month. At that appointment I am going to ask about having b/w done to prove if I am O'ing or not.....
I have also decided that today will be day 1, not yesterday. AF was rather light yesterday, and I have to follow the "bleeding rules".

Well.... better get some work done....

mommaphoebs · #7 (**permalink**) 09-04-2007, 12:32 PM

Just wanted to send along my hugs as well. AF arrived for me last week while on vacation, a big bummer, and takes the joy out of the holiday unfortunately.
I was reading your post to Shannon about weight loss. I too gained weight after getting married, and then gained more while pregnant with dd. For some reason it crept up on me and all of a sudden it felt like I was huge. I tried various things, but exercise faded away pretty quickly, just difficult with a little one around. I decided to join LA Weight Loss in the spring and have lost about 25 lbs (would have been more but I had some cheating along the way). I like it because you can still eat most things and lots so you're never hungry. I tried WW in the past but the weight loss for me was too slow. Just thought I'd let you know what worked for me. I have another 15 lbs to go. I'm also hoping it will help me get pregnant, being at an ideal weight for my body. LA Weight Loss will also let you take a medical break if you get pregnant, so you can just start up again after.
Take care and keep your chin up!

mb80 · #8 (**permalink**) 09-05-2007, 07:17 AM

Hi Mommaphoebs... looks like this board is FULL of big losers!!! (of weight that is!) Hopefully I will be a BIG Loser too~

AF really ruined our fun huh? Your vacation, my anniversary... why can't she just leave us alone, for 40 weeks or so......

I am going to look into some weight loss programs around here. We have an LA weightloss and weight watchers in the same plaza. I had some success with the south beach diet before, but I couldn't stand the food- so my diet lasted about 2 weeks- then the 3 pounds came back and brought friends.

Thanks~ and good luck this cycle...... I will keep my fingers crossed for you!