Immigration Crazyness - LONG very LONG!!!

Constance_13 · #1 (**permalink**) 10-03-2007, 10:15 PM

Though I would share for those interested.....this is the full long verson of my immigration crazyness:

Well….This is the crazy story of my life for the last 2 and a bit years. Background: My DH and I met on line, talked, became very good friends and then decided to meet in person. I went for a visit down to California and things went as well and actual better than we had hoped!!! We fell in love and decided that we wanted to see where our relationship would go. So……..

I finalized everything up in Canada (finished selling the home that I owned with my X, putting all my stuff in storage, stuff like that) so I would be able to go down to California for 6 months (which I believed I as allowed to do) After the 6 months I come back to Canada to spend 2 weeks (with the understanding that was all I had to do to be able to return to the US) plus I had to finalize my devoice, then I attempted to head back down to California to be with my boyfriend (who is now my DH – we where married Oct. 7, 2006).

We did not realize that I needed to report long stays. My DH and I listened to other ppl and tried to research everything but kept hitting dead ends. (Neither of us are good at research….OBVIOUSLY) We should have just gone into the board crossing and found out the full procedure instead of doing what we did. You see by this point we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and we needed to find a way to do it legally…..BUT we ran into trouble before this happened.

I made the biggest mistake of my life and lied (about how long I had been in the US) when attempting to cross the boarder. I do not have a criminal record and have never been in trouble in Canada or anywhere else before this. They detained my mom (who is a senior) and me for over 6 hours. We were not allowed to even use the washroom, get our coats from the car (it was freezing) or make any phone calls. They separated us and interrogated both of us, took our mug shoot and took our finger prints. This was the scariest experience of my life. I wish more then anything I could rewind that day and start over. I was very stupid and use poor judgment.

The other issues that cause problems was this: My DHs family had been helping us and I was doing some work for them. I had a daytimer in my luggage that had my hours written down in it. I worked cleaning for his parents and for his grandpa. We really did not think anything of it as it was family helping us out….BUT the boarder guards did not look kindly on it. The crazy thing was the week following we were going to meet with an immigration attorney in Cali and make sure we started the process to make it legal for me to be in the US.

This all went down on Easter of 2006. My DH’s grandma-in-law was waiting on the other side to drive me “home”. She had come up for the trip and to help me finalized everything I needed…..she has never been to Canada and her and I are very close so we though it would be a fun trip. It was up till the last day…… I was such a mess when they gave me my paper work (I have no idea how I was even standing and able to do what they asked…..I completely broke down)….they made me finger print and sign all the documentation and then immediately removed my mom and I from the US. They officially deported me and gave me a 5 year ban from entering the US. They advised me that I was very lucky they were NOT arresting me and my mom and seizing her vehicle. They told me that if I even attempted to cross the boarding again with in these 5 years I would be arrested with out warning and be sentence to jail for up to 25 years and given a $250 thousand dollar fine.

I called my DH hysterical and he called his grandpa right away as no one knew what had happened to me…..I was crossing then disappeared for 6 hours. I had NOTHING left in Canada…..All I had was my small suitcase. I had no home, no job, not much money left no car and I was completely out of it and in a state of shock. THANK goodness for my mom. She helped me in every way she could BUT the issue was I could not stay with her long as she lived (and still does) in a senior retirement apartment building and only has a bachelor suit. One room for two adults was rough.

My DH’s grandpa called a few different lawyers, made appointments to meet / interview some of them and then after research found one in Pittsburg who is one of the top immigration lawyers in the country. He hired her and she has been on our case for the last year and half. We have filed all the appropriate paperwork and so far we are half way there to getting everything approved. It is such a LONG process and due to me being deported it makes it all that much harder. The crazy thing is, the way we were treated at the boarder crossing was so bad that if I had been American the guard would have been fired and we would have had a huge settlement for the mistreatment. BUT because I am Canadian I have absolutely NO rights. We are now just waiting for my immigration interview….this is going to be across the country from me….in Montreal. CRAZY but true….Montreal has the only consulate that does this type of interview. All we are waiting for it to be scheduled…..I can NOT wait. They could potential approve my immigration right at the interview BUT more then likely they will take it under advisement and then render a decision one month later because there are special wavier I can only apply for at the interview. I am so happy we have a good lawyer as they are prepping all the documents….man we would be so lost with out them. BUT either way we are in the home stretch to at least in having a decision and some closer so we can move on with our life’s and know where we are going to live. All we want now is to be able to live in the same country.

My DH is able to travel back and forth thank goodness!!!! BUT we both really want to live in the US. We have a much better support network down there then we do here. We have LOTS of family and friends down there where as up here we have my mom whom I love very much but she is not well enough to be able to help with the baby now (so sad how ageing effects you) - I mean she can help with love and supporting us mentally but she is not physically up to chasing a little one or doing lots of the care once the baby grows, etc. and I have a few friends who are like family but its just not the same. Down in the US we have a family home we can and do stay in and we have lots of ppl that are around that can help and that also count on my DH (and I when I am there) to help them. We have nothing in Canada and it can be done up here but it would be very hard all the way around. I love and miss my family down there more then I can say……My heart is there and it has been since I fell in love with my DH……to me home is California and no where else. Being here in Canada is just not the same any more.

If things do not go as we ALL are hoping and praying they will then my DH will be filing to come up here. We just do not want to take this step yet…..not till we have a definitive answer as our family has invested lots of time and money in trying to get me HOME. We do not want to do anything to mess that up. Everyone is hoping I will be home for Christmas this year…….I truly hope so but there are NO guarantees unfortunately. I pray every night that our application will get approved and I will be home before I know it. This has been a very LONG and very HARD process.

Constance_13 · #2 (**permalink**) 10-03-2007, 10:15 PM

We were married up here in Canada and everyone that could come up for the wedding did…..it was so very wonderful….one of the best days of my life. I miss my family (I am so close with all of my DH family) so much and I hate being separated all the time from my DH. We are all trying our best to deal with all this and the one good thing that has come out of all this is both of us know with OUT a doubt that we are meant to be together and can get though anything. This has been a tough year but it has really shown us the strength in our relationship.

I have always said thing happen for a reason and when you are in the middle of them you just do not see it sometimes. But looking back you can often find the good……I have been trying for 6 years to have a baby….and was not blessed with one till now….I truly believe that it was a very good thing it did not happen sooner, I needed to find my DH as he is who I am meant to be with to start a family and it was good it did not happen with my X….it would have complicated the divorce. The deportation…..still struggling finding the good but again it comes back to my baby right now…..being stuck in Canada I was able to see my specialist who has seen me for over 3 years and who was helping me to conceive before….he did my surgery and hooked us up with a fertility plan timed with when DH was visiting and BAMB it worked and now I am here…..I have to believe that it might not have happened if I had not been deported and had to find a new doctor to help us through the crazy IF process.

I am trying to focus on the good but I have my very bad days. I have had my share of complete melt downs…..every time I think I can not possible take any more I seem to find strength that I have no clue where it comes from. This next separation I am going to be drawing on that……This is by far the HARDEST one yet. BUT it’s not just me now it’s me and my little bean sooo I have to find a way to make it work for all of us.

So this is the long crazy story and this is where we are to date. Please send us all your good thoughts and prayers.

You guys are all truly amazing and I do not know where I would be with out your support.

Haras · #3 (**permalink**) 10-03-2007, 11:08 PM

That is just awful. I am sorry that you have gone through all of that. Hopefully it will be better for you very soon and you will be with your husband for Christmas. sending lots of thoughts and prayers.

mommy524 · #4 (**permalink**) 10-04-2007, 05:28 AM

I hope everything works out. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

bobandjen · #5 (**permalink**) 10-04-2007, 11:42 AM

You are in my thoughts and prayers!!

nessak · #6 (**permalink**) 10-04-2007, 02:57 PM

WOW what a story I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this. You got my thoughts and prayers ((BIG HUGS)), You are so right God does have a plan, and you plan WILL work out!!