Im Baaack!!

Carrie72 · #1 (**permalink**) 09-03-2007, 11:03 PM

Hey ladies! My my my...i come back to find out that almost everyone has gotten a

! HEIDI!!!! I was really praying hard for you, you really deserve this! CONGRATULATIONS GIRL, YOU DID IT! Congrats to all who got their

's!
In my absence i've been through A LOT! (a little recap here...) In Feb. i had a m/c, Mar. my husband had open heart surgery and had a mechanical valve put in and im happy to report that he's doing just fine! On June 5th my dad died, something we werent expecting because he was getting better...or so we thought. 2 Wks after my dad died, my cousin lost her baby(her baby was only 7 wks. old) due to SIDS. Then a good friend of our family died(she was my nephews great g'ma and like a g'ma to me) and last wk. my cousin died of cancer, she was only 49. She left behind a 28 yr. old son who is autistic. So ya, my emotions have been ALL OVER the place, esp. since i havent even had time to really grieve from my m/c and losing my dad. Too much, too fast! I am happy to report that July 5th (the day dad died) was the LAST day i smoked a cigarette! When dad was still in the hosp. i promised him i would quit(he was a smoker and had been for many years), plus he was gettin on me about quitting while i still had the chance. I didnt just quit for him, i also did it for myself. Anyways...... I went to see my ob/gyn Aug. 28th. He checked my bp and it was 162/98(gee, go figure!) so i had to go back on my bp pills. (BTW, i MADE DH go with me!) My dr has ordered another semen analysis on dh, due to everything thats happened with him and also b/c of the meds hes on. I have to go in for some bw. If everything checks out ok with dh's little guys(lol) then i get to go back in for another HSG(AKA..more pain) and if everything looks ok there then i have to go have another laparoscopy done! All this UNLESS i happen to get a

beforehand. If, after all this is done, and im still not preggers, he said i would need to move on to IVF(last i knew he was thinking about IUI, not sure what changed there!?!). He also said that theres always adoption. I just sat there(like an idiot) stunned and ready to start bawling at any minute and not sure what to think..whether or not i should be hopeful still or just give up! When dh and i left the office, i honestly was just ready to give up, feeling like its never going to happen...OH plus, he's only keeping me on Femara for 3 more months and hasnt bothered to increase the dosage, check follies or bw(i know, few ob/gyn's ever do) so im still on the 2.5 mg. Maybe i should give up, feels like everything else is falling down around me. Im sorry ladies...just need to vent i guess.
Shannon: TY for your message and im sorry i didnt get back with you. Besides all the deaths and news from my dr, i had to buy a new hard drive for my computer b/c the other one i was using got a really bad virus...oh well, i got a much bigger hard drive(went from a 40 GB to a 200 GB!) Miss you bunches!
Heidi: I MISS YOU!!! Love ya girlie! Your gonna make a super mom, i just know it!

Constance_13 · #2 (**permalink**) 09-03-2007, 11:27 PM

WOW.....that is a lot of hard ups and downs. Good luck with everything!!! I hope you get your

very soon!!!!

So very sorry to hear about all the challanges you have been going through, I truly hope it gets better for you!!!!

mommy524 · #3 (**permalink**) 09-04-2007, 07:53 AM

Carrie - I'm so glad to hear from you. I have been thinking about you and wondering what was going on with you lately. I am so sorry about all the losses in your family.
I so happy you dh is doing better.
I am glad you quit smoking

. It had been 4 years for me and I would never go back. good luck. It is hard but I know you can do it.

Loopy Lou · #4 (**permalink**) 09-05-2007, 03:05 PM

Carrie good to hear from you, i am so sorry for all your losses this has been a tough yr for you. Pleased to hear you have quit smoking it will make you feel much healthier for "when" you do get pregnant. I do wish you could go see a specialist though, my OB was so limited with what he could and would do and I am glad i went to an RE, they waste no time.
Glad to hear DH is doing well. Lets hope all is turning around for you, it sounds like you have a lot of people watching over you, looking out for you, remember that.
Good to hear from you!

Mommie2Ava&Presley · #5 (**permalink**) 09-05-2007, 03:19 PM

So glad to hear from you. Bless your heart for all that you have been through in the past months. Good for you on quitting smoking! That is another step in the right direction to increase your chances for that

. I applaud you for your commitment to both your dad and yourself in making that big step. Hope all goes well with the SA and your testing as well. After all you've been through, you too deserve a

.

mommaphoebs · #6 (**permalink**) 09-06-2007, 01:57 PM

I am SO sorry about everything you've been through! Hang in there girl!

And way to go on quitting smoking! Good for you!

Carrie72 · #7 (**permalink**) 09-13-2007, 08:34 PM

Thank you all for your support and words of encouragement, that does help quite a bit!!

I went to my family dr on Tuesday and was talking to the nurse practitioner(i just LOVE her, i think shes better than the dr! lol) about how i was doing, especially the non-smoking part

(which i have NO interest in whatsoever!) since she's the one who put me on a Rx pill called "Chantix" to help me quit. It was a wonderful med that helped me quit and it took away all urges to smoke! I have been off of that med for over a month now. Anyways, i told her about my appt. with my ob/gyn and how he put me back on my blood pressure pills because my bp jump up there! He said it was best to get it under control NOW before i get pg so he put me on a bp pill that is safe during pregnancy. When he listened to my heart he heard my heart murmur and asked me some questions about it and that was it as far as that was concerned...or so i thought. I was relaying all this to the nurse practitioner so she listened to my heart

(yep, it was in there! lol, sorry i gotta find some humor in something or i'll go mad!) and told me that whats happening is that one of my valves isnt closing all the way(Mitral Valve Prolapse---any of this sounding a wee bit familiar? Thats right! Same thing that was wrong with my DH!!! Although his is fixed and doing just fine now!!) So, this morning i had to be at the hosp to have an echocardiogram with doppler done on my heart. Painless, but it did scare me nonetheless, since i was able to hear and see my heart pumping, but what alarmed me was the sound it was making and the view i had of my valve(flaps) i could see how they werent closing the way they should be. BUT, i'll have to wait at least a week for the results which i dont think will be the greatest but we'll see. The nurse practitioner said she thinks its a minor prolapse(just how my DH's started out). So now, i've arrived at the only conclusion that i could.....God knows how bad Lee and i want our baby/s so he's fixing us BOTH up so we will be ready and able to care for our baby/s! He gave me the strength and courage i needed to stop smokin those cancer sticks, and get through all the deaths in my family(which was a complete nightmare!

) and now i think He's just "tying up the loose ends" so to speak. I'll keep you all updated on whats going on with my

. Something else that happened that is kinda weird(and hopefully someone can explain it to me)...I wasnt expecting af til this Sat. or Sun. cause my cy are usually 31 days but i started spotting yesterday(Wed.) at work and i was thinking maybe implantation spotting ?? but when i got up this morning i knew af was here! So for this month im at a 27 day cy. Could my not smoking chance my cy so that im at a 28 day cy? I know that smoking changes hormones and can even bring on early menopause, just wondering now i guess if im going back to the cy that i should have been having all along! I even "O" earlier and on my own! I "O" on cd 14, rather than on 16-18(it usually varies). Is this what most consider "the norm"? Its all new to me because ive never been regular. Anyways, sorry for writing a book! Just thought i would let everyone know whats going on.

and

's to all!!!

Constance_13 · #8 (**permalink**) 09-13-2007, 09:52 PM

WOW.....Lots of changes. I love how you are looking at all your challenges. I know it’s hard to see the good in the bad sometimes. I truly believe that thinking positive and finding the good really helps and does truly make a difference.

I am sending you lots and lots of positive energy and you are in my prayers. PLEASE keep us all posted on how you are doing.

Also, I believe stopping smoking can majorly affect your CY.....it sounds like it has for the better

GOOD luck with everything!!!!! Just think at the end of your journey when you have that little bean in your arms how happy you will be and what a tremendous story you will have to share.