Employer Excuses-Any Advice?

JennySoMany · #1 (**permalink**) 05-12-2007, 12:47 PM

I think my boss is getting suspicious about the amount of time I take off of work for my appointments. I'm so torn between just confessing and keeping it private. It's a tough call. I really don't want to make my business public knowledge but I also don't want him thinking that I'm a huge flake. I'm a teacher so I have a significant amount of days alloted for personal use but it's still awkward to ask twice a month especially since I've had perfect attendance in the past. Ahhhh! I try my best to schedule appointments at times that don't interfere with my work day, but you all KNOW that everything is alllllllllllllll about timing so I usually don't have alot of options. I'm also struck with the fear that if I do fess up my boss won't understand and he'll just view these as elective procedures. Any opinions/advice/experiences? I keep thinking about the worst case scenario-IVF-then what am I gonna do??? Unless that happens during these next coming summer months then I'd have to delay this pregnancy process even longer! Can you tell I'm freaking out?! My husband is probably beginning to second guess this marriage-he says I'm obsessed. Well, I am!

Mailmanwife · #2 (**permalink**) 05-13-2007, 10:29 AM

I would tell your boss it is a personal matter...it is none his business why you have to go to the doctor...that's what personal days are for!!! maybe if you go to a hospital or something you can have them give you an excuse that has the hospital name on the excuse instead of obgyn/re. chances are he (assuming its a he) would consider it elective and not important....if so....even higher chance he got his old lady pregnant at 16.

-cassandra

SweetMissAngel · #3 (**permalink**) 05-13-2007, 10:34 AM

My opinion is that the time is yours to take and as long as you do a good job and are following all the rules, it is no ones business. Unless he approaches you, you don't have to say a thing. Even if he does, let him know you have a private medical matter that requires your time right now. That is my two cents.

moeseachel · #4 (**permalink**) 05-17-2007, 01:52 PM

You could always tell him it's a "female" matter. That tends to send them running the other way without asking questions. But, seriously, I agree, it is your time and you don't owe them any explanation. It' a very personal matter and you certainly have a right to privacy. Hopefully you'll get that BFP soon and this will be a non-issue!

Star622 · #5 (**permalink**) 05-17-2007, 08:36 PM

I'm a teacher as well and I took a lot of time of with my IVF cycles. I tried to time things for summer, Christmas and spring break, but it still overlapped with my work days.

I don't have to provide a written excuse according to my contract which doesn't mention it, and they've never asked. At first I had one ready each time, but I wasn't comfortable with that since it wouldn't have kept my issue private.

I may have tossed out the private medical reason excuse. I had a new principal when I started my infertility treatments so I can only imagine what she thought for a few years.

It's hard to juggle it all. My RE trips were at least 3 hours roundtrip in the car not including waiting. All my days off were full days due to the drive.

With a cooperative RE you can time ivf cycles pretty well. I had 2 summer cycles that didn't affect a thing. My Christmas cycle wouldn't have except I had OHSS and couldn't return immediately after break. And my spring break cycle I took extra time off due to the stress of the school year and was hoping that #3 was the lucky one and wanted to give my body the best chance. That cycle was backed up to spring break though so I had 2 weeks off instead of just one.