We hae been trying for 5 years inactively due to finances. We looked into everything starting with the use of a donor as DH has 0 count. Has it tken others like myself years to resolve what inner problems they felt they had with using a donor. It wasn't about the donor for me because we looked into adoption but du to the cost choose not to adopt. I have had worries that somehow I was cheating on DH by using another man's DNA, and it was going to break-up or marriage. Have others felt this way?

Gina

I have not dealt with the issues of a donor because, although its not high, my DH does had a close to normal count now after being medicated, but I think I would have to resolves the same issues you are having if I chose to use a donor. Its a heard decision, because Ithink in some ways, we feel its all or nothing...either its all our DNA or none of it is (adoption). So, its hard for me to resolve just using one of your DNA, so I can totally understand your thoughts.

I know that is not much help, but I would have the same issues you are having!

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We are dealing with Male Factor infertility right now...DH just had a varicoscelectomy about 3 weeks ago...so now we are in the waiting period.

I have thought about using a donor before...but worried about DH. I personally would leave it up to him. Let him have the final say and let him be part of the process as much as possible.

I am sure it would be hard on the relationship a little...but Infertilty has already taken it's toll on us and we have managed to make it....so I guess I would hope for a happy outcome.

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Mindy

I can not tell you how your dh would feel, but my dh has raised our son (not biologically his) and you would never know it. I think it is something that you both have to talk about throughly and just remember that baby is BOTH yours! You forget all the details when that baby comes I'm sorry I am not much help. As far as the cost I have a post on the IVF board that (GO BUY GLAMOUR) it talks about the $ of IVF internationally how much cheaper it it is. It talks ALOT about donor IVF. Go check it out or go buy Glamour magazine for MAY. I wish you the best of luck!

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I believe in the all or nothing thing too, but thought about this last year if it came out that zero were available I would ask one of Matt's brothers. That way it would still be in the family. My one brother in law swears by only having his one little girl too.

BTW I know how you feel about "having a baby with another man" feeling by using another's sperm. I feel that it would break us up, so in the end we decided that we would try natural, iui, ivf and if that all didn't work, we would possibly adopt in a few years.

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I don't feel the same.....I believe that it takes more than sperm to be someones dad....If dh and I go through another IVF with ICSI and it fails I am going to strongly push for donor semen....whats the difference...if you adopt its not your dh sperm either.... ..

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TTC #1 for over 4 years -
IVF with ICSI #1 - March 2005
IVF with ICSI #2 -August 2005
IUI #1
September '06 IVF with ICSI #3 postponed due to illness
Nove 3 - ER 13 eggs retreived 12 mature
Fert Report--11/4/06- 10 still going strong---we will do a 5 day transfer
Fert Report 11/8/06 - still have 10 --transfered 4 day 5 blasts
11/17 beta 59 11/22 740 11/27 2700 2 sacs
WE have one great heartbeat!!

TAYLOR MARIE IS HERE---BORN 6/25/07 - 5 weeks early weighing 7lbs 5oz and 20 inches long

8/30 Well Child---Weight 11lbs14oz
10/27 3 month Well Child- Weight 16lbs 10oz (I think??)
1/9/08 6 month Well child- Weight 19lbs 8 oz and 27 inches long
2/26/0MD visit- Weight 22lbs
3/27/08 9 month Well child- Weight 22lbs 3 oz and 30 inches long
1 year appt--26lbs

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