Okay, why is it that everyone who TTC's for more than 3 months thinks that they "know what you are going through"? To top it off my cousin is due to have her "oops" baby any day and my bff (who "tried" of 11 months) is having her #2 on Dec. 12th via c-section. It just kills me to smile and be supportive and blah blah blah. Now DH has a cousin we are alos close to who is pg with an "oops". Neither of these cousins want to marry the fathers either and here we are, married for over 6 years and have to try so hard to get pg and pay all the medical bills only to have my body kill off the last 2 pg's and how are we ever going to afford the adoption we just started the process of? I just can't actually stand it you know.....but I put on the smile and pretent to be so happy and excited and will try so hard not to cry when I have to hold these babies when they come because it's not their faults. Okay thanks, I'm done venting now.....how is everyone else handling the stress these days?

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yeah, I know what you mean about all the oops'es or the ones who just sooooo don't deserve another child cuz they don't take care of the ones they have. I hold the babies and smile and say how beautiful they are and wonder if I will ever even give birth to ONE!
It upsets me too, but then again i am one of the ones that drive you nuts since I have only been actively ttc for 13 months.

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married 10 years
Me 32 DH 49
TTC#1
Low Count, ASA's present
IVF 12-07 BFN
IUI 4-08 BFN

I hate the "oops" people too. Seems really unfair. When you look at people like Britney Spears who get pregnant like it is nothing and so don't deserve a child, much less too. My close friends are really good about it. I had one who got pregnant.....while she was on the pill.....and she actually felt bad when she told me the news. I try not to get too angry about it anymore though, I'm kind of in a place where I think if it happens it happens and if not, we will adopt.

Carrie - don't feel bad about only ttc for 13 months! I think she means those that have only been trying for a month or two and complain about it. All the literature says that healthy couples who are actively trying for 12 months and are not successful have some kind of issue and need to get checked out.

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I know what you girls mean. I have this girl who works for me that is due in 3 weeks and all she has done lately is ***** about how sick of being pregnant she is. I just smile and nod when I really feel like saying "If I only had that problem!" We have been ttc 8 years and have gone through 8 iui's I think if our miracle ever happens I will enjoy every moment of it.

Oh Carrie, honey I totally DID NOT mean TTCers like you. I meant the ones who go off the pill and think 3 months of waiting is the same as Dr appts and temping and SA's and all the real IF stuff but a couple of months is nothing compared to what we have all been through, including yourself! I do know how lucky I am to have carried one of my three pg's to term. I count my blessigns everyday and didn't even complain durring labor or my c-section because I knew how LUCKY I was. My friend who is due in DEC. was whining today about how big she is this time and how she can't wait to have it all be over. I told her to enjoy it while it lasts as you never know if you'll get to enjoy it again and that I'd give my life just be where she is right now. Was that RUDE of me?

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I'm sorry

I too know the feeling!! I felt this way when I was TTC. DH and I tried for nearly 6 years!!!
Last year our friend got off the pill in July.. found out she was pregnant in AUGUST!! I'm not kidding! ONE MONTH! I thought I was going to have to admit myself to the mental institution!! I was very bitter and didn't speak with her for months! Finally I realized its not her fault, she wanted the baby.. it just hurt me. I prayed about it and found ease with the situation. It really is hard to deal with.. Just know that you gals will have your babies.. in your arms..

Just don't give up!

This is baby # 1 for us.. I know the feeling.. I felt hopeless, lost, alone.. No one understood.. NO ONE!!

I know exactly how you feel! It just doesn't seem fair that some people get pg at the drop of a hat and then there are people who try and try without success. And it is usually stable, happily married couples who have the most difficulty. So not fair.

This is the reason Dh and I didn't tell very many people we were ttc. We did not want people constantly asking us how it was going or saying try this or try that. No one can possible understand unless they have been through it themselves.

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Well, I've only been TTC since June . . . . but I still get frustrated by all the "oops" people - like my SIL, who is due for her 2nd next week. It is going to be so hard to be there . . . considering all of the horrible news we've had in the past few weeks. From my perspective, it isn't just about the time, although I can only imagine how much worse it all feels the longer it goes on . . . it is going through the devastation of finding out that you really can't get pregnant on your own, and the knowledge of all the expense you have to go through, and procedures, and surgeries, and tests, and waiting, and delays . . . .

I just threw a huge party this weekend for my DH, and we had a lot of family members there. I've put on a lot of weight in the past few months . . . some of which is due to my screwed up hormones, and all the medicines I've been given. And EVERYONE was asking if I was pregnant, and then not believing me when I said no . . . I just wanted to scream "Hey - I'm SO not pregnant, it isn't even funny! I've got a growth in my uterus, my ovaries don't like to ovulate without medication, and DH's swimmers are lazy and don't swim! So, if you could stop harassing me, I can privately try to ignore the utter devastation I'm feeling, and the anxiety over my upcoming surgery, and my next bazillion appointments and tests that I have to endure while I'm still sore from the HSG and the SHG!"

<Sigh> but of course, I didn't say any of that.

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