We are in the midst of our first IVF, primarily because of MFI. I have a terrible fear of needles, so this process hasn't been easy on me. I'm most worried about the IM injection I need to do to trigger in about 5 or 6 days, and last night I was obsessively researching giving an IM injection on the web. A woman on the IVF board suggested searching for video on youtube, and it was really helpful. I watched maybe 3 or 4 videos, and it made me feel better. While I was doing this, DH snapped at me about how he is sick of me obsessing over a "stupid" shot and I'm making him crazy watching "all those videos." I lost it . . . I blew up at him, yelling that he isn't the one stuck jabbing himself with hundreds of needles, and if I want to obsess, or learn how to give myself yet another shot, then he should leave me alone to do what I need to do. Next thing I know, I want to lash into him and tell him that it was all his fault I was stuck doing this anyway, since we were only doing IVF because of his problem and it is unfair that he has the problem and I'm getting jabbed with all the needles. Luckily, I bit that part back, but I'm still stewing over it today.

So, I guess I'm asking how you all handle that? It isn't that I blame DH exactly, but I'm definitely scared and tense, and there must be a little part of me thinking "it is his fault I am going through this" or "why can't he take all the needle jabs." I'm feeling terrible that I'm so angry at him about this . . . any insight you can give would be welcome!

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aww.. I'm sorry girl..

First off let me say.. the shots aren't as bad as you think!! The anticipation is the worst part! Wait til you get that shot over with.. You are going to be so proud of yourself!!

All I can say is maybe your Dh is nervous.. maybe he wants things to work and he's stressed about the whole thing also and doesn't know how to show it.. Maybe it hurts him knowing that you are going through IVF because of male factor and maybe it hurts him knowing you are taking shots because of that reason..

IVF is very stressful.. all i can say is talk to your Dh.. you guys need each other during this.. Its an emotional rollercoaster thats for sure and you need each others support!! hang in there

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Thanks, Renee. Your boy is so adorable! How are you adjusting to motherhood?

Perhaps you are right about DH. I've been managing the SQ injections, but the IM terrifies me. I've got an irrational fear of needles - suffice it to say I had a bad needle experience coupled with an allergic reaction when I was quite small and nearly lost my arm over it, so my problem with needles has nothing to do with whether it hurts or not - it is just the mental anxiety and fear I battle. It sounds so silly, but I just don't seem to be able to let it go.

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Awww sweetie, I hear you! I hate the shots too! DH has to have an IM shot every other week and I just can't bear to give it to him, so thankfully, my mom does. It's kinda weird she has to see his butt twice a month!

Anyways, try to cut yourself (and DH) some slack. Remember that you are hormoned out at this point too so yes, you may not want to hear this but you may be a tad bit unrational and reading in to this a bit more than you should. I think we all go through a point of blaming our DH's for the crazyness we are going through. I'm sure it's hard for them to see us go through this because of their issues. Try talking to him about the fact you may need him to be a little more understanding and he needs to "sugar coat" things while you are on all the hormones! Tell him it will be good practice for when you are preggers and really mental! Maybe he just doesn't realise what the meds+stress is doing to your mental health right now......maybe he doesn't realise what it's doing to his.

Ignorance is not an answer either. You are going to have to have "the talk" with him because when you do get preggers, and I can just feel your BFP comming....you both need to be on the same page, cuz let me tell you....pregger hormones are something else completly! You think you are being totally normal and sane, but the truth is, you arn't.

Big hugs, and vent here if need be, we all do it at one time or anouther! That's what we're for!

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