Do you let them know that it is healthy but should be done in private? Do you tell them it is bad or discipline them if you see them touching? Or do you shy away from the topic completely?

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My oldest is very ... in love with himself as of late. I told him that's fine, as long as he does it in his room. It's a private thing, and he should keep it to himself. I let him know that it's natural, but mommy, daddy, and whoever is visiting, doesn't need to know

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I just asked DH what he would tell Ben about this when he gets older and he pretty much said the same as Jen. It is fine to do as long as it is done in private. No need to make the kid feel ashamed.

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We had this come up with our oldest. I think it's disgusting, but as long as it's done in private and I don't know about it, I don't really care. However, the problem we had with our son was he was tearing out pictures in parenting magazines and childrens books to "help" him. He went way past playing with himself, which is one reason we don't have him in our home anymore.

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"Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged." -- Ronald Reagan

As masturbation is a normal part of life (growing up), I definately dont discipline my kids for doing it. They r just told, that if they r going to do it, then they do it in private and they can do it as much as they like.
It is easy to explain to teenagers, but when it comes to a 2 year old, it is a little harder, as they dont really understand yet .

Well Alex is only 3.5 so not really a problem at the moment LOL. We will tell him though that it is fine and normal but is to be done privately in his own room.

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Snowy days!



Jennifer (37) & Chris (41)
Alex 3.5
Teagan 1

Looking at pictures while masturbating is pretty normal behavior for boys. Not sure about the kids thing, though, unless it was young girls his own age (or boys).


When the time comes, my DH will talk to our son. Nothing wrong with it, just keep it private.

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I would imagine there is more to why your child is not with you?

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She just said it was one of the reasons.

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Snowy days!



Jennifer (37) & Chris (41)
Alex 3.5
Teagan 1

He was looking at pictures of small children?

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Yes, well I was curious, that's all.

My mother's brother was mentally disabled. As he got older it became increasingly difficult for my grandmother to care for him. She also had an issue with masturbation. He would also take his clothes off sometimes, and my grandma could not handle him. He eventually went into a group home, which he liked a lot.

I was just wondering if she had a similar story.

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I want my children to have a healthy view of sexuality. I don't want them to think it's disgusting. I think it's natural. And, I've also heard that women who do, are much better in bed with their husbands. You know what you like, and you can help him help you. They're not the ones described as "frigid"

That being said, I want to make sure they know it's something private. I don't want to see it (well, when they're older, can't help but see the grab when I change my 1.5 year old's diaper lol).

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My husband would likely agree with that statement :-).

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Why would you think its disgusting? Its VERY natural. Do you not get horny? Better to pleasure yourself then to go and find some random guy/girl to do it. I, personally wouldn't want to know if my child, dh, or whoever is doing it, BUT I would never never tell them it was disgusting. Why shame them?

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I relate it to having a bowel movement.

Completely natural.

Not at all gross when you are alone doing it.

Quite satisfying.

But not something that should be shared with others.

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*Checks to see if there is a rip in the time/space continuum* Holy frick, I agree with Jacie - with one small quibble - it can be shared with others as long as the 'others' are persons you are in a sexual relationship with - some partners find it a real turn on to watch their SO pleasuring themselves.

As for Kim finding it disgusting - well, I guess it's her right to do so and to express it, just as much as it is our right to find it ok, and voice that we find it ok/pleasurable. Not entirely sure I'd agree with her telling the kid it's disgusting, but for her to voice her PERSONAL view on how she feels about masturbation, on an open forum like this - not gonna jump her shiite for it.

I let my kids know that it is something to be done alone in private. I am trying to teach my kids that thier sexuality is a normal natural part of life. What bothers me is the way sexuality is portrayed in our media. There is sexy and there is vulgar and perverse.

I do have to say this because it is funeeee! My son (12) asks us questions about sex. Well, he sees the commercials and keeps asking what male enhancement is. I didnt want to tell him at first. Finally after the millionth time I told him.

Me: Okay. You know how when you wake up in the morning and your penis is sticking up because you have to pee?

Son: Yeah

Me: Well, to have sex a mans penis has to stick up like that. Sometimes men have trouble getting it to do that, so they advertise these pills on tv that will help them make it stick up so they can have sex with thier wife.

Son: Ewwwwwww, that's grosssss!!!!! Why did you have to tell me that!!!!!!

Me: Well, I told you I didn't want to tell you, but you kept asking so I figured you were ready to know. Sorry.




Okay, he is 12. I am sure he has heard far more disgusting things from his friends at school. I am not naive enough to beleive no one knows about sex or discusses it in 6th grade.

It would be fine for you to agree with that if I had actually said it. I said I think it's disgusting, but as long as they do it in private, I don't care. The problem we had was our oldest son was using children's pictures and pictures taken out of my parenting magazines to 'help' him. THAT is what I would tell my kids is not okay.

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"Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged." -- Ronald Reagan

I know - I was saying IF you had also told him it was disgusting - I think someone asked if you had, or that was how I read it anyway. I was responding to that.