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This is a discussion on What do you consider cheating? within the Debate forums, part of the Say Anything category; I'm a long time lurker, and occasional poster but I thought this topic might have some debateable "legs&...
I'm a long time lurker, and occasional poster but I thought this topic might have some debateable "legs".
I thought of this when I noticed that someone felt (in her relationship) pornography was a form of cheating.
What do you consider cheating?
I realize that cheating has a different definition in every relationship.
I'm not a fan of Dr. Phil but he did say something once that I think was very sound. He said "cheating is doing anything that you wouldn't do in front of your significant other" (or something close to that). Makes a lot of sense to me. If he needs to hide something from me...then I do consider it cheating. I don't think he has to chronicle every movement he makes...but if he does something that he doesn't want me to find out about...sounds pretty close to cheating to me!
If he needs to hide something from me...then I do consider it cheating. I don't think he has to chronicle every movement he makes...but if he does something that he doesn't want me to find out about...sounds pretty close to cheating to me!
I agree with this.
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"Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged." -- Ronald Reagan
If he needs to hide something from me...then I do consider it cheating. I don't think he has to chronicle every movement he makes...but if he does something that he doesn't want me to find out about...sounds pretty close to cheating to me!
I think a lot of people immediately think of sexual acts when they hear the word "cheating" but I completely agree with the Dr. Phil thing. S/O is pretty closed off about his feelings a lot of the time because he likes to keep his problems to himself and work them out without getting me worried over him. If I found out he was having deep discussions with someone else that he didn't want to talk to me about, I'd know there'd be something wrong here in the relationship.
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~ "The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." - Jane Austen ~
~ "I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." - Isaac Asimov ~
~ "Good Taste is the Enemy of Creativity." - Pablo Picasso ~
If you found out your husband is exchanging steamy emails with his ex who lives in another country, would you consider it cheating?
Yes!!! If my S/O was exchanging emails with his ex, I wouldnt mind at all in the slightest because I dont control who he's friends with. But if they were particularly 'steamy', then there's bound to be something wrong there. I would not be happy.
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~ "The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." - Jane Austen ~
~ "I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." - Isaac Asimov ~
~ "Good Taste is the Enemy of Creativity." - Pablo Picasso ~
I feel that the emails would be a sign of cheating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cezzie
If I found out he was having deep discussions with someone else that he didn't want to talk to me about, I'd know there'd be something wrong here in the relationship.
I don't necessarily agree with this - I have deep discussions with my friends that DH wouldn't understand - like on these boards. Does that mean that I'm cheating? I'm not trying to attack...I know I'm new here.
I think cheating is anything that is lied about or hidden from a spouse. Even if its not sex, having a relationship with someone that is not known by your spouse is cheating.
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Danielle (27) Loving mom to Austin born January 7th 2006
I agree, especially since women tend to fall into a more "emotional affair" which leads to sex. But hiding calls from men, emails, there's got to be a reason you're scared to let your spouse see it...
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Krissy
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I agree with the majority of the above posts.. except maybe for the deep conversations.. I think it is more about sharing any form of intimacey with a person other that your s/o...
I have a few good guy friends, and i have shared things in regards to my relationship that i didnt feel necessarily that i could share with d/h becuase i wanted an unbiased opinion... i dont consider it cheating. i love my d/h more than anyone, that doesnt mean that there arent other people/friends that I may click with conversation-wise.
Some people especially men, feel closed-mouthed with their partner because there is the fear that if they say something wrong or offensive, it could hurt their partner... but they can sahre these feelings or insecurites with someone else because they dont worry in the LEAST what the 'friend' would say...
PArticularly true if the other person in the relationship is the type to over-react or be overly sensitive about issues.
Its silly to think that ALL we need in this life is each other, it is ideal of course, but sometimes we need the opinions of outsiders, without the fear of hurting the one we love, or accidentally insulting etc... imo
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What do you consider cheating?
Re: What do you consider cheating?
