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This is a discussion on Unassisted Homebirth within the Debate forums, part of the Say Anything category; This was said on my DIM board (on another site) in talking about who would be present for delivery, thoughts? ...
I can understand that they want it private, but I can see why a third party could be helpful. Maybe a doula or midwife, etc. I think that someone could be present without it being involved. That way, if, God forbid, something goes wrong, there is someone else there who can be level headed and get them the help they need without the panic that the mother- and father-to-be will be experiencing. Even if I were to have a homebirth, I would want someone there who does that everyday. Not just my husband (who is very smart), because he doesn't really specialize in bringing babies into the world.
I would be scared to go through something so major by myself. I love my DH and want to share as much as possible privately with him but I think the need for someone with some type of experience would be necessary for us. I go to a midwife rather than an OB because they are less invasive and have less internal exams than OB's. To each their own though, someone on my board is also doing an unassisted home birth, and I think it's really interesting just not for us.
I agree almost verbatim with Abbie. I can respect why someone would want privacy, but as for me, I can have privacy with just my husband and me... and the professional who helps give birth to babies every day who'd be in the room with us. We would be reassured, and if something should go wrong, someone's there to help.
I agree that everyone should be able to have the birth they want. However, I just think it is irresponsible to not have a medical professional there. There is a reason why so many women and babies died in childbirth. On another one of my DIN boards, a baby was born stillborn, she was larger than they expected and had died at some point of labor. If they had been in a hospital, hooked up to a monitor, the out come would have been very different.
As mothers, I feel we owe it to our babies to provide them with the very best care from conception on.
__________________
Dana (35)
DH (36)
IVF #1 Twins James and Mia born 11-9-06
Natural on 6-22-07 WOW!
I don't think I would be comfortable at all with that but to each their own. I would worry about something (or everything) going wrong. I think why not use the help if you have the option? At least for safety measures have something experienced handy. They can stay in the other room until needed but for me, a midwife would be there.
Location: North and South depending on time of year
Posts: 34
Re: Unassisted Homebirth
I'm all for choices, but I have to admit that I think it would be best to have an experienced midwife or doula. My GG grandmother was a mid-wife who helped with many home births and gave birth to 13 children herself with no help (other than GG grandfather) with any but the first one with no problems, so I know it can be done. However, I would prefer to have backup in the way of a trained professional.
Wouldn't it be nice if hospitals would provide special suites for parents who wanted unassisted birthing with the understanding that nobody would intrude unless they were needed? That way if something did (God forbid) go awry help would be a buzz away? Wouldn't that be the best of both worlds?
Personally, I'm against homebirth period, and I think it's irresponsible. But I would never say or do anything to disrespect another woman's decision that she made with her family. I understand the need for privacy, but what would happen if there was a complication, you're putting your unborn child at risk.
This kind of hits a nerve with me. Home is the safest place for babies...if you think about it, hospitals are INFESTED with germs. They also are for sick people. Pregnancy is not an illness. Just things to think about. That being said, I know situations arise and sometimes every second counts. BUT, there are times when an UNPLANNED and unassisted home birth happens- labor is too fast...and either the mw doesn't get there in time, or the mother couldn't get to the hospital in time. Saying someone is irresponsible for choosing an unassisted birth is hurtful because many times, they have researched it thoroughly and totally believe in their body to birth. I think it is something admirable. Most people don't spend much time reading about birth and labor-- they have the attitude that the dr knows best. It strikes a nerve because of that- the people who don't do much research say that people who do home births are irresponsible and are putting their child in danger, which isn't true. It isn't any more dangerous than having babies in the hospital. Babies born in hospitals die too. I think we hear about it more if the baby isn't born in a hospital.
I have a friend that was planning a homebirth WITH a midwife, but it was her 3rd child, and this baby decided that he wanted to come fast. Her labor was very short- something under 2.5 hours I think. She lives in a pretty rural area and she called her mw and the mw was on the way but arrived about 30 minutes after the baby was born. My friend said it was a little scary because she was totally alone...even her dh couldn't be there...so she had no one to talk to her! But she said it was an amazing birth. That was something she hadn't planned- was she irresponsible? I think she had her other kids there...she couldn't drive anywhere...she said God got her through it LOL Her last baby was also born at home, but the mw was there. All four kids were born at home.
As for me, it could happen. My last two labors have been pretty short.. 4hrs for the 2nd baby and 5 for the 3rd. I don't know what will happen with this one...I was told by a mw that fast labors usually mean that the baby is absolutely fine....but it is the longer labors that can be sometimes problematic. (Not always). If you have a home birth with a midwife and something is not right, she can get you to the hospital before it is at that critical emergency point. I realize this is about unassisted though. My 2 fast labors were with mws and I did deliver at a hospital (not my favorite choice) but I had water births. I am using a mw again and planning a water birth- they are AMAZING. The first time I used nubain- I am afraid of epidurals- and it was way harder and I took longer to heal than with the drug free births. Now, with my history of fast labors and going from 0 to 8 cm in just a short time (both times I was 8 cm when I got to the hospital) I have entertained the thought that I could just not make it to the hospital. This time it is very possible- we have a 25 minute drive, and obviously I have no idea how far dilated I am at that point. LOL So I have actually read about what you need to do if such a situation arises. Seriously- my contractions go from really sporadic (and I feel like what is the point of going in TOO soon) to about 3-5 minutes apart in just a couple hours. I feel like my body is more EFFECTIVE to labor at home. And if I did happen to have a fast labor and have the baby unassisted, I would still have the mw meet me and be checked out and have the baby checked out.
The only reason I have the hospital births is due to my husband not feeling comfortable with it. But I think that is because he refused to read about it. Who knows maybe he did read. If you don't educate yourself on the statistics and the benefits of a home birth, you can't really say it is dangerous or irresponsible. People have choices and it is good to have choices. I think I agree with some, that personally- if I were choosing a home birth, I would want the mw there. I am not sure I would choose to have an unassisted birth either...I understand why people do...and I admire people for having all the faith in their body. I have faith and belief in mine too---but I don't have the support from dh to choose to do one. I just don't think it is a WRONG choice. It isn't wrong to choose a hospital birth either, it just bothers me that it has become so medicalized and doctors don't let babies come on their own.
__________________ Francine mom to 3 awesome boys~Keiran 2/18/01 Aidan 11/14/02 (water birth)Breylan 5/02/05(water birth)
and and Hunter Grayce~born 6/7/2008 7 lbs 6 oz, a fabulous water birth
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Blinkie Maker
The day you deliver, outside will be warm. Your baby will arrive in the evening.After a labor lasting approximately 5 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 17-1/2 inches long. This child will have blue eyes and dark hair.
I don't think anyone meant that an unplanned unassisted birth is irresponsible if you didn't plan it then it was an accident, and of course people who do choose to have unassisted have researched it and believe itheir bodies ability to birth naturally, but in my experience, our bodies just don't always do what they are supposed to do naturally...Breast feeding is very natural and the absolute best nutrition you give your baby and so with my first DD I completely planned and researched everything I could about breastfeeding, read every book took every class, and when she came out she latched and nursed like a champ...4 days later my milk still had not come in and when it did finally come in it apparently did not have a high enough caloric value to sustain her. At 6 weeks she still was not back to birth weight and I had spent all that time completely strssed and back and forth at the dr's and lactation consultants or taking herbs or pumping to try and make it better and nothing worked, my body just did not do what it was supposed to do naturally, I don't know why, but it didn't and I wasted a lot of time and put my child in danger because I felt like I should be able to do it naturally, Natural does not mean best and it does not mean easy, there is a reason people started having there babies with medical assistance.
I am 100% against unassisted home births. Yes, sometimes they happen by accident, like when the midwife can't get there quick enough. But things DO happen. If something were to happen to the baby, then I believe the parents should be held responsible and charged with at least neglect.
Unassisted Homebirth
Madalynn Faith ~ 08/08/2001 
Twins James and Mia born 11-9-06
Francine mom to 3 awesome boys~Keiran 2/18/01 Aidan 11/14/02 (water birth)Breylan 5/02/05(water birth)
