This is not a debate; however, since I unwittingly trusted that I would not be attacked and posted personal information about myself (which I will not do again, with the exception of this post) I would like to make a few points. I will not respond to this post or to any other posts regarding DH and his child. However, I would like to say a few things.

1. Although the mother did in fact push DH out of his child's life since birth and withheld visitation (and freely admitted this in court) DH DOES admit he is guilty for not trying harder for those six years (from age two to eight). There was no contact during that time period. DH regrets this, and accepts that he is to blame, primarily.

2. DH got back into the child's life when the grandmother (who had custody) called asking for a picture and letter. DH has been there ever since and has fought very hard for his child.

3. DH was very young when the child was born and did not know his rights. He was always treated as though he had no rights, and mistakenly believed this was the case. He has grown up considerably since then.

4. The question in point was whether or not having coffee with the child is a "good" idea. The mother can call DH whenever she wants to discuss the child, without limitations. They can also talk at the pickup/dropoff point. Also, if there are events (such as graduations, for instance) neither of us have any problem attending with the mother in attendance.

5. Past experience shows that peace is kept when limits are kept.

These are not excuses, just facts. DH knows he has made mistakes. However, the only thing we can do from this point on is move forward.

If you have a genuine question about any of this you can email me. I will not respond on this board.

Those of you who are Christian should be reminded of forgiveness.

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Here here Jacie

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Host of TTC with Fertility Monitors/OPK

This is a debate board. Don't come here to make "points", and expect everyone to shut up because it's you. Remember when you said you wouldn't be back to post with us evil hateful women? I miss it.

The mother cannot legally withhold visitation. All your DH would have had to do is go to court and explain that. He didn't. Not once in 8 years (Depending on which post of yours we chose to believe). I highly doubt that she told the court she was doing it purposefully, and they didn't bat an eye. BS.

Better late than never. This doesn't excuse those first 8 years though. He will have to come to term with his child being resentful of that, and the child will NOT want to hear how fat and bitchy his mother was. So I hope that your DH can truly move past those issues. Maybe even counselling, not because he's crazy, but because it sounds like he needs the help to push past the issues.


Please quit making excuses. I don't care about your DH. He had 9 mo to grow up. HIS SON still got shafted. And frankly it doesn't sound as though he has grown up if he is still whining about how fat and bitchy his ex is-not to mention wishing her dead.

Please remember that the only one who will suffer by not being able to see the mother and the father get along is THE SON. At this point that is just par for the course though so it is probably better that you don't do coffee.

If that's true then it's good you know your limits.
Just as you have shown forgiveness for the way bio-mom has treated your DH? By wishing death on them? Judge not lest ye...

I can't believe I am answering this but whatever...


Never once claimed anything she did was legal.

I don't lie. She did say she purposefully withheld visitation, due to the fact that she was insecure that she would lose her son to his father. Also, her common-law boyfriend has two kids that he does not see. The reason? "It is up to the mother to decide whether or not the father can see the kids". That is the attitude in their house.


Did not say it did.

We shall see who he will resent.

Like I said, we never say anything derogatory about her. She is the one who does that.


He does not whine about her being fat and bitchy, he does not give a rat's *** what she looks like and she is generally not bitchy. Where do you get this stuff? I said she was fat, only because novangel thought the reason I did not want him to go for coffee was because I was insecure. He has mentioned to me that he is not sexually attracted to fat women. Like many men.

You might wish her dead too if she mentally abused your child like she did, all out of spite.


I am not a Christian.

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times never change and people never learn.

you will keep responding to this Jacie. As much as you want to walk away, you just can't.

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Nicole

For the record, the debate was not about whether or not my DH is an ahole. It was about whether or not he should go for coffee with her. All of the other stuff said about DH is blatant flaming.

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made ya post!

oh .my. god. what's wrong with his eye? ewwwwww.


you're still a douchebag.

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Actually, he is blind in one eye. It is called a disability. Your mother should have taught you that it is not nice to say derogatory things about someone's disabilities. Why am I not surprised?

Do you teach your children to mock people with disabilities and call people names? You are supposed to be an example for them.

I think my husband is gorgeous, blind in one eye or not.

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made ya post.

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This has nothing to do with this thread but I just have to say that I am shocked that someone who has been ttc for nearly 2 years would have a blinky stating what gender baby they want. At this point wouldn't you just want a BABY and not give a rip about what sex it ends up being?

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Holy crap I cannot say ANYTHING without getting torn a new ahole over here.

For the record, if given a preferance I would like a girl and if given a preference DH would like a boy. It is very common for people to have a preference. Ask pregnant women, I bet many of them will tell you they are hoping for a certain sex.

Obviously, I would give anything to have a baby, boy or girl, and at this point, genetically ours or not.

Sigh, I suppose that you are going to say I am unfit to be a mother now because I would like a daughter...

Why don't we start a thread about how horrible I am because I obviously hate boys. In fact, I bet if I have a boy I am going to give him up for adoption[sarcasm].

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Oops, she did it again..........

?

You have some kind of contest going over at myp to see how many times I will post?

I will post until I am done I guess.

Don't you have kids to take care of or something?

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BTW, it has not escaped my attention that I get attacked over the littlest thing (ie my blinkie) but kwright can mock my husband for a physical disability and no-one says a peep about it.

Nice pack mentality.

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ATTACKED over a blinky? Come on now, where did I ATTACK you because of your blinky? I am astonished that someone who so desperately wants a baby and has been ttc for 2 years would have a preference for the gender of the baby. I do not, nor will ever understand that.

Being that I have experienced infertility all 3 times I can honestly say that I did not care about gender, I just wanted a baby and I wasn't even waiting as long to have a baby of my own as you have been. Preferring a certain gender over another is one thing, but to advertise it along with how long one is ttc just seems so messed up to me. You would obviously have to have a great desire to want a girl to use a blinky in your sig stating so.

No, actually I wouldn't say that, but you sure are defensive about it. After as long as you have been trying for a baby I find it odd that you would still have a preference for a girl and not just want a BABY, that's ALL I was saying.

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Oops, should read:

I do not, nor will I ever understand that.

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Aww Jacie, seeing as I know you on a more personal level, and I know what you have been dealing with... all I can say is. YOU know what's been going on and so do I. I was with a man for a few years, and he was going through the court process of accessing visits to his son. It was such a nightmare. He ended up going through a father's rights advocacy. Not all dad's are deadbeats, but the ones that are sure give the other's a bad name.
Women take to the challenge of court alot differently and more vigourously than men do. Im not sure why that is.
Know friend, that I am here for you whenever you need.
I personally am not at all offended by your blinkie. You would be happy with either but would like a girl, JP would like a boy. With my first born, that was the way it was for us too. I wanted a girl, d/h wanted a boy. He got his way! lol. In the end of course all either of us wanted was a healthy baby. All over message boards anywhere, one can find women with a gender preference. It is completey normal.

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Oh, cry me a freaking river.

It was a lucky guess.

I actually mocking whomever took the picture , thinking they did a shitty job, thereby mocking your dh's looks, unfortunately, he really is blind, and the photographer really didn't suck.
I was just trying to prove you'd post again, since you crave drama, as demonstrated here
Juvenile? Absolutely.
Mocking his disability? Nope.


Get over yourself.

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JAcie,
I ask you to please not respond to posts like this. kwright has 6,660 posts. What does that tell you? Have you read her public profile? Her occupation is Internet Whore.
As far as the 'mind expansion' part of your occupation kwight, does this mean that you use hallucinogenics? Or does it mean you consider yourself 'enlightened' by all these delightful conversations?

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