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This is a discussion on How long is too long to leave kids alone? within the Debate forums, part of the Say Anything category; How long is too long to live two kids in a car alone? One minute, two . Just where is the ...
How long is too long to live two kids in a car alone? One minute, two . Just where is the line to be drawn? What age is old enough>? Does it matter more if its a hot day?
Ok I had a reason for asking because my hubby is still pissed off.My hubby was working and came across a car with 2 small children inside. The kids came to find out were 1 and 3 years old. Now it was about 55 degrees, so the car was never really too hot. And the kids weren't crying or anything. So hubby decided to sit and see how long the mother would be gone. 5 minutes and counting no mother in sight. 10 minutes turned into 20 minutes. Finally after 30 minutes the kids started crying and screaming. So hubby popped the locks and got them out. The mother came flying out to the car screaming bloody murder. Hubby charged her with child endangerment but doubts the charges can stick. So is it child endangerment or its ok if the child isn't harmed?
You prompted a discussion with my husband. What I have been doing is, if I'm out of the car for a very short time (<5 minutes) and can see the car, I leave him in the car seat, car off, doors locked. For example, when I go to Chipotle, I can look in and see if there is a line. No line = leave him. If I go to Walgreen's, since I can't see the car and can't tell how long it will be, I always take him in. The temperature means nothing to me, b/c I would never be gone long enough for the inside of the car to be affected. Oh, and he's a very even-tempered boy. He very rarely cries, so he's never even been upset when I've gotten back in the car.
After talking about this with dh, I won't do this anymore. His point is that, in those few minutes, some bystander might get hysterical and call the cops, CPS might get involved, and take ds away. Even though I'm sure we would be vindicated, that would be time away from our son, and who knows what kind of environment he would be in?
Why did your hubby "pop the locks"? Why did he not call the police first?
Her hubby is police, I believe.
I don't leave mine in the car alone, except for if I get home and have sleeping babies. Then I have to bring oe in at a time. They're only 13 months and 2.5 though.
If you are not within just a few feet of the car, and the windows are not open for ventilation, then even one minute is too long for kids that age.
I have let my daughter finish a nap in the car, alone, with the windows open, while I sit on the front porch and watch her. I also routinely leave her in the car while I unload groceries, with the hatch open for air. To some even these things are not OK. But if you're not close/visible enough to know if something is wrong, or for your kids or anyone else to get your attention, for 30 minutes? Even one minute is too long in that kind of situation, IMO.
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I won't leave them alone in the car like that. I think a minute is too long. Now obviously the woman could see the car since she came running out when your hubby popped the locks but how much could she really see? She didn't come out when the kids were crying, so could she just not see them crying? How would she be able to see if they were in distress? I'm betting the charges will stick. We've had these cases in Ohio and they've always stuck when the person is charged.
Location: Spokane, Washington and rural mountains of North Central Idaho
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Re: How long is too long to leave kids alone?
There are 3 instances where I leave the kids in the car alone. When I am taking them in and out. Because I take them in one by one. But that is just walking them in, setting them inside the door and going back out to get the next one. If it is warm, the doors are open, cold, they are closed.
The other is when I take Brooks in to school. I park right outside the class room door and just walk Brooks to his door. There is NO reason to take Brady in.
I would NEVER leave my kids, unattended in the car for 30 mins! That is just nuts! No matter what the weather conditions are. I mean, what is someone decided to take them. Where was this at?
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If I'm paying for gas and have both children with me (Dd is 8, Ds 3) and I can see them I'll let them wait in the car. If I only have one of them with me they come in. I can't think of any other reason I'd leave them in the car alone. Maybe to post a letter, but I'm right up beside the box anyway.
Why would your Dh stand outside of a car for 30 minutes watching two children? After the first 5 he should have called in the license plate and tracked down the parent. Then popped the locks and gotten them out. What the hell was he thinking? What if one of them choked, or there wasn't enough air circulating? i don't think your Dh was doing his job properly.
I would never do it if I couldn't see the car, never with the car running or keys in it either. There are very few instances where I am comfortable doing it at all.
One is when I am unloading groceries from the car and the kids are sleeping. I bring all the groceries up to my porch, then bring in the baby in his carseat, set him inside the door, then go back out to get my older son so I can come in and immediately lay him down to continue sleeping. Occasionally I will run back in the house to grab something I forgot if we are on our way out. In those instances I am out of eyesight of the car, but it is for about 15 seconds. I don't even go in to LOOK for something that will take a long time, kwim?
Other than that, I have run into the gas station to grab a cup of coffee with the car parked right out front where I can see it at all times and with the doors locked. It just wouldn't be possible for me to get what I needed inside with both kids in tow. That rarely happens though, I usually make my coffee at home!
I also think that 30 minutes is ridiculous, heck I think more than 5 minutes is getting ridiculous, especially with children as young as you said.
What kind of business did this happen in front of? Instead of just popping the locks, why didn't your husband go in and ASK who the heck left their kids in their car? Wouldn't that of been better than waiting it out, then charging the mother? I bet if he would've done that she would've been pretty embarassed and would be less likely to do that again, w/o causing some major drama for her with court, fines, charges, CPS, and what-not. Also, why did she come out screaming? Was your husband off-duty, in plain clothes? If so, how did he charge her.
Something about this story just isn't adding up....
regardless of the temp, i dont think kids that old should be left more than 2 minutes unless the mother can still see them. 20 minutes is too long .. Who knows how long they were left there before the 20 minutes.
I think a lot depends on the area but even little towns have kids kidnapped.
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I only leave my youngest in the car for a minute when I go to unlock the front door (when he is sleeping, so I can carry him in the house without waking him)
I have also left him in the car while I unpacked the groceries into the garage. It's actually safer for him there when I am doing that, because I can see him and he can see me.
I have however left my older kids in the car. Usually because they don’t want to go in with me, while we are running errands. That’s okay with me, because they are 10 and 11 and quite capable of opening the door if they need to or rolling down the windows.
I had a friend when she first had her baby, she was out shopping and driving home, she got diarrhea all of a sudden. She had her new baby in the back and she had to go bad. She didn't want to leave him in the car when she got home, so she went in her pants (I guess she couldn't hold it anymore) Now that's a devoted mama! I loved her for that, I loved her even more for telling people. What a crack up!
If there are no laws on the books about this Jonesey 5 minutes might not have cut it in court. I'm also guessing he was keeping a pretty good eye on them so I really don't have issue with how long he waited.
Laws can vary from city to city. There were no laws here until a few years ago. Now, it is unlawful to leave a child under six alone in a car for any length of time. If they are 6 and older they can be left (if the car is in view, like at a gas station) for up to 5 minutes.
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If there are no laws on the books about this Jonesey 5 minutes might not have cut it in court. I'm also guessing he was keeping a pretty good eye on them so I really don't have issue with how long he waited.
I wasn't really concerned about the law, just that if he was on the job when this happened all he'd have to do is radio in the plate number and have the owner's name, address and phone number in a minute. They could make a phone call, maybe the other parent was home. Then get the children out of the car. Thirty minutes is way too long for a 1 and 3yr old to be left alone like that not knowing where their parents are, no matter who is standing outside watching. That had to be very scary for them.
I have only left them in the car when they are in my direct site (like to drop a book off in the library at the outdoor book slot), otherwise I bring them in. I am fortunate that all my kids have a period of time when they are in school, with my youngest in preschool so I plan my errands accordingly. I also use pay at the pump, drive thru's, etc...when I have the opportunity and my kids are in the car.
I cannot even imagine someone leaving their kids in the car for any extended period of time. That is dangerous on so many levels!
To SOON AND JONSEY- My hubby was in full uniform standing beside a squad car.There was no way the lady didn't know she was being watched.The kids were both in carseats and were quite happy. It was not a very warm day so the kids were in no real physical danger. So hubby had no really grounds to bust in right away. Now if they were hot or ill, you bet your sweet *** he'd be knocking out the window. And he did run the tag but it came back "not on file". So he decided to wait to see how long the person would be.When the kid started crying he immedialy popped the lock and got the kid out. The lady was yelling because she knew she screwed up.Plus her job will fire her for getting locked up even without a conviction. My hubby was pissed because what if the car had been stolen. It takes very minutes to steal a car.People just don't think about all the what ifs in a situation. And SOON hubby followed the department policy to the letter when dealing with children. He even allowed the kids grandmother to pick them up instead of calling DFACS to come out and get them.
How long is too long to leave kids alone?
