I was reading some comments in the magazine Plum at the drs office Tues, the nurse gave me the mag to take home but I thought this one was interesting and make for a good debate:

Agree or disagree? Do full-time moms get "enough stimulation"? Are they more at risk of "losing themselves"? Is it more dangerous/risky to become a full-time mom at a young age, as opposed to older?

definitely not enought stimulation at home. see my other post to you.

Well, I personally think getting married and having kids before the age of 25 is not smart. Why? Because I think a person needs some time between HS and marriage to live a little, be their own person and do some things they want to do. That, combined with the fact that our brains are still maturing when we are in our twenties means that we might not be fully equipted for the responsibilities of marriage and kids.

I know I never wanted to be married before 25 and I'm glad I did not get married until I was 28 and I had my first child at 29. I can look back on my twenties as a time of growth, maturity and fun.

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Asexuality: It's not just for amoebas anymore

"As long as two people love each other I don't think God cares whether they both have a hoo hoo or a haa haa" Marge Simpson

Lots of stimulation, for the kids.........but not for the mom.

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I agree with it. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I on 26. It has to do more with the personality of the mom. People react differently in certain situation. Staying home with children everyday is hard and not everyone is wired to do it. Sure everyone could do it, but I think that some would suffer a lot and it would greatly effect their parenting. I have been a SAHM for the past 6 months. I can see the effects it has on me. I am not as good a mother. I totally lost myself. Thankfully, I am going back to school in August. This is why I don't think a one decision fits all family is right.

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-Brandy

I don't know, I think it depends on the persons personality and if they have outside activities besides being a mom. I was married at 18, and had my first at 19. I did still work until recently (I was 28 when I stopped) when I had #2 & #3. I do things outside of being just a mom, and that helps my sanity, and I don't think I would change a thing. Well, with the exception of maybe a little more sleep

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Nicole

I think that's important to be around other adults. I belong to an AP playgroup, we hand out, do the occasion BBQ, do crafts nights, the LLL etc. I would feel awfully lonely without them. It's only good for my kids to play with other kids, so it's win win.


I too had only become a SAHM two years ago, I honestly wasn't ready to stay at home full time at that point (I was married at 18 and had my first at 19) but daycare never would have been an option either.

I agree that its better to have kids later, I'm a totally different mother at 26 than I was at 19.

UGGHHH HAD PERFECTLY BRILLIANT POST ...THAN HIT BUTTON AND IT DISAPPEARED!!!
Anyway.. I have alot of people in my house.( 6 kids, 2 adults ) I really don't care who cleans it as long as it gets done. Shoot if a stranger got a wild hair up their butt and decided to come inside and clean than by all means go to town. Realisticly.. my kids do alot of chores.
1. I demand that they have responisibility
2. I abhor laziness (unless it is my own.)
I do a majority of the chores at home .. dinner, laundry (I wash ..fold but don't put away) dishes, we ahve one bathroom right now so that is a everyday cleaning session. I am home , therefore I do it. If I sat on my A#$ and waited ,for him to come and do it , it wouldn't happen. Don't get me wrong , he is a great help, anything that I can't or won't do he does for me.
Plus some.. but he is gone 14-16 hours a day so I do not expect him to come home and cook me a 7 course meal. I will have dinner done to feed the family and make him a plate. We work together as a team to make our family and home life work. Yes I get tired, Yes I get down right selfish and don't want to do anything because I have cleanedthe same stinking mess because I have had 20 kids at my house. But I SUCK IT UP. Being a parent means you make sacrifices.Do I want my children to live in a house that is about to be shut down by the board of health? not really ..so I put my germ gear on and clean.
I never used to be this way, my mother was totally a slave to my step-dad, she waited on him hand &foot. I swore i would never get married ,Because marriage to me mean I would be a slave to a man. But lo and behold I fell in love, had a kid ,got married .(did it a little backwards) I did not know how to cook, clean or be anything besides my pampered princess self. So I made my hubby cook, clean, work.. Basically I became a hypocrite, a do as I say not as I do ..type person. How ironic. Was my husband happy, no , he loved me and we worked through my issues at what being a house wife ..really was.
To me marriage is a partnership, it is not always going to be 50-50, but if both people are in it to succeed together , you can overcome whatever stands in your way ..even if it is just some garbage and dishes. I am not some glamourous beauty queen dressed in my heels while vacuuming and nursing the baby, niether is he dressed like some hot sexy -enter your fantasy here- cooking and cleaning for me when I get home.(darn!)
But we do those things together that get the job done , and do the little things that show we care. There is no set rule on who does what , but when its done were both happy.. and then there is some time for some SERIOUS LOVING!!!!!

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Melanie
Keith

Mommy to the Plas Family Zoo

The Sensational Six
Ayasha,Brandon,Matthew,Isabella,Jakob,Tirzah