Do you think some people are gay as a result of their environment?

jacie · #1 (**permalink**) 01-27-2007, 06:23 PM

I believe some people are born gay. Period. They are biologically gay.

However, a case could be made that some people are gay as a result of their environment and/or a traumatic experience.

For instance. I have a friend who was abused by a babysitter. Said babysitter used to make him and his sister have sex together. Both of them are now gay. And both of them say that they believe that this experience is what 'made them gay'.

I also have another gay friend. All of the children in his family were adopted. He has nine sisters and one brother. All gay except for the one brother. He also questions whether or not this is a co-incidence or if the environment they grew up in was a contributing factor.

What do you think? Do you think all gay people were born gay?

veiledexpressions · #2 (**permalink**) 01-27-2007, 07:22 PM

I believe most are biologically gay. I believe that some can become confused because of abuse.

Another friend of mine was sexually abused by her father. She "became a lesbian" for a while. Eventually, through therapy, she figured out that she wasn't really attracted to women, but repulsed by men. She worked through this, and is now married with a child.

momof4boys · #3 (**permalink**) 01-27-2007, 08:59 PM

Do you think all gay people were born gay?

Nope, it's a choice people make. And the "why would people choose a life of violence, hate, ect., ect..." argument is just stupid. People make bad choices all the time,(and I won't even go into some of them, because when I do I get told I am comparing them to homosexuality...ugh)it's just what we do.

DuchsLove · #4 (**permalink**) 01-27-2007, 09:01 PM

I see Kim is back to her old $hit!

BLAH. No one chooses to be gay.

momof4boys · #5 (**permalink**) 01-27-2007, 09:22 PM

I see Kim is back to her old $hit!

Huh? Back to it? I have never changed my beliefs.

BLAH. No one chooses to be gay.

Whatever.

momof4boys · #6 (**permalink**) 01-27-2007, 09:28 PM

She "became a lesbian" for a while. Eventually, through therapy, she figured out that she wasn't really attracted to women, but repulsed by men. She worked through this, and is now married with a child.

Hey Nicole, explain this one. Or how about the friend I talked about. She said herself she made the choice to be gay. Don't tell me people don't make that choice because they do. I've heard it many times from many gay people.

adamsmommy · #7 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 06:42 AM

I would agree about abuse may make you confused, but aren't most 'gay' people brought up in heterosexual homes? I live in a town that 'gay' is just not around. One of our football players is gay. He was brought up in a straight white collar CHISTIAN family. So obviously his is not his environment, just born that way.

BTW, his parents who attend church weekly, have NEVER instilled in him that being gay is sin. And he leads a normal life, with a partner. (he is a lawyer now) And his parents love him and support him.

mrsryan23 · #8 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 11:12 AM

No Kim, people do not choose to be gay, they choose to act on their sexuality. Just as straight people choose to act on their straightness.

kyspier · #9 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 11:19 AM

Being gay or straight is not a choice. Being happy is.

momof4boys · #10 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 12:12 PM

Just as straight people choose to act on their straightness.

That's almost laughable. No, God created man and woman to be together. Again, He states very clearly homosexuality is a sin. So why would He create us to be with the same sex? Wouldn't we all be like that if that was how God intended it? We aren't, which is why homosexuality is a choice and not something you are born as. If this is not true, I welcome ANYONE to find in the Bible where it states woman can lie with another woman and man can lie with another man and it's okay. I've asked this question many times over the past few years and have yet to have anyone show me where it says this. Why? I know why.

Geez, even some people here are now saying that the environment or confusion from abuse can cause someone to become gay. Why am I the only one some have issues with? If you believe a person is born gay and that's it, then why not challenge some of these other people and what they are saying.

Stacey & OHC · #11 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 12:43 PM

I think that people are born with their sexual orientation.

I do think though that there can be people whose sexual orientation is gay that lead a heterosexual lifestyle or the other way around - do you can choose you orientation as well.

Myantek · #12 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 09:20 PM

I think people are born with a genetic predisposition to be gay and factors in their environment control the level of "gayness".

Emaline · #13 (**permalink**) 01-28-2007, 09:34 PM

I don't believe the issue is black and white. I actually have a couple of thoughts on it, so bear with me here.

I think for the most people they are born having a preference for a specific gender. I do think there are people who do to certain circumstances can choose to be with the same gender. I also think that some people are just curious and choose to experiment. There are many people who are born straight and there are people who are born homosexual. There are many homosexuals who have known since they are children that they prefer to be with the same gender. There was no active choice, it is what they prefer. Just as I prefer men, there was no active choosing in this, it is just what I want.

As I said I don't feel it is a black and white issue. I look at it this way. Being heterosexual is a 1 and being a homosexual would be a 10, being bisexual would probably be a 5. I think there are many people who are 1's and many people who are 10's. I think many people fall some where on that scale. I know many straight people who are curious about being with someone of the same gender but would never act upon it. I know a few homosexuals who have had opposite sex relationships while trying to make other people happy in their lives. They knew that they were homosexuals but they also know it was not the acceptable thing to be, so they tried to deny themselves and their sexuality.

So long story short, too late. I don't think it is a black and white issue.

roxrkool · #14 (**permalink**) 01-29-2007, 04:56 AM

Originally Posted by momof4boys

That's almost laughable. No, God created man and woman to be together. Again, He states very clearly homosexuality is a sin. So why would He create us to be with the same sex? Wouldn't we all be like that if that was how God intended it?

You might as well ask why god creates babies with a hole in their spine or without a brain. Why not ask why some children die from Leukemia at 5 years old? When I ask those questions, people tell me because god is not 'creating' those people and has nothing to do with how people are born. Others say because those babies are here to teach us a lesson. Maybe it's the same with homosexuality.

I was born with a curious and skeptical nature. Why would god create me when he/she knows I will not believe in him/her?

Religion either has no answer for why god does god does or a thousand reasons to explain god's actions. Either way it's nonsensical.

We aren't, which is why homosexuality is a choice and not something you are born as. If this is not true, I welcome ANYONE to find in the Bible where it states woman can lie with another woman and man can lie with another man and it's okay. I've asked this question many times over the past few years and have yet to have anyone show me where it says this. Why? I know why.

Who gives a flying f*ck what the Bible has to say on physiological issues. The Bible is not a science book. It doesn't have the answers for everything in life - it was written 2,000 f*cking years ago. If you want answers to your questions, then look at what people are saying NOW. Listen to what gay people are saying NOW. Stop sticking your head in the sand and pretending you're not hearing what you're hearing.

roxrkool · #15 (**permalink**) 01-29-2007, 04:59 AM

Originally Posted by Emaline

I don't believe the issue is black and white. I actually have a couple of thoughts on it, so bear with me here.

I think for the most people they are born having a preference for a specific gender. I do think there are people who do to certain circumstances can choose to be with the same gender. I also think that some people are just curious and choose to experiment. There are many people who are born straight and there are people who are born homosexual. There are many homosexuals who have known since they are children that they prefer to be with the same gender. There was no active choice, it is what they prefer. Just as I prefer men, there was no active choosing in this, it is just what I want.

As I said I don't feel it is a black and white issue. I look at it this way. Being heterosexual is a 1 and being a homosexual would be a 10, being bisexual would probably be a 5. I think there are many people who are 1's and many people who are 10's. I think many people fall some where on that scale. I know many straight people who are curious about being with someone of the same gender but would never act upon it. I know a few homosexuals who have had opposite sex relationships while trying to make other people happy in their lives. They knew that they were homosexuals but they also know it was not the acceptable thing to be, so they tried to deny themselves and their sexuality.

So long story short, too late. I don't think it is a black and white issue.

I completely agree!

momof4boys · #16 (**permalink**) 01-29-2007, 07:28 AM

Who gives a flying f*ck what the Bible has to say on physiological issues.

That's a typical non-religious/atheist answer.

Listen to what gay people are saying NOW.

I have heard MANY gay people say they made that choice. One gay man I know can't stand people who say he was born that way. He knows God created him to like woman, he did for a while, but then made the choice to go with men. The girl I was talking about earlier(either in this thread or the other)knows she made the choice to be gay. So yes, I have listened to what gay people are saying NOW. Of course there are those who don't agree with what the Bible says, and that is also a choice. Or wait, maybe they were born to turn away from God.

mrsryan23 · #17 (**permalink**) 01-29-2007, 07:48 AM

Actually Kim, what's laughable is your self righteous piety in one breath and your blatant judgement and criticism of others in the other.

Pathetic.

Emaline · #18 (**permalink**) 01-29-2007, 07:58 AM

Kim I would think that those homosexuals that you know fall somewhere in the middle of the line as I mentioned in my post. I don't believe they were truly a 1 or a 10. That is okay as well. I don't doubt that they exist. I know girls who really like men but who choose to experiment with women for a variety of reasons. They are actively making that choice. I know that for myself I did not actively make a choice to be mainly attracted to men. There is just something about them that really gets me going. I can't tell myself "Okay you will be turned on now. Ready, steady, go! Hormones start pumpng!"

It just happens. I know that it is the same with many of my homosexual friends. They are just not attracted to people of the opposite sex. It just doesn't work for them.

I think for me it comes back to the crush thread. As Jen mentioned there are a variety of physical reactions that happen that we really don't have a lot of control over. Yes we do choose whether or not we act on those feelings and emotions but I think with pure attraction, we can't control it. It happens. Hell I wish I could. There have been people I've been attracted to in my life that just frankly leaves me scratching my head. I choose not to act on those feelings for a variety of reasons but that doesn't stop the attraction from happening. I hope I'm making some sense here.

Emaline · #19 (**permalink**) 01-29-2007, 07:59 AM

but I think with pure attraction, we can't control it.

Just to clarify, I mean we can't control our the attraction, we can control what we do about them.

mymorgan05 · #20 (**permalink**) 02-06-2007, 10:06 AM

I say most are born gay and there are plenty of others who choose it or come to grips with it later in life. I have several girlfriends who were straight growing up and into their 20s and then was introduced to lesbians and she was able to find herself as being gay.