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This is a discussion on Feeling devastated within the Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) forums, part of the Trying to Conceive - Infertility category; Hi,
I know you all must think im mad, but im 10diui and have had cramps like i would in ...
Hi,
I know you all must think im mad, but im 10diui and have had cramps like i would in a normal month, im pretty convinced the iui didnt work, im so tearful and feel so lost,
Since i had my boy 9yrs back i have had 8 miscarriages, the most recent was last jan and i was 11weeks with twins, i cant keep going through the pain of all this,
As im in england the system here is very harsh, because i have a living child i am not entitled to any free treatment for fertility, not even a blood test,
So t get this far we have had to save and save and this attempt was £1200 in total,
over $2,400.
We dont have any major issues, and im only 35.
I am such a loving person and the grief is overwhelming for me,i have to smile and take it on the chin in front of family then crack up when on my own.
I pray so hard, but im taking too many blows with this, but i cant give up.
sorry i needed a good cry and hope you guys might understand where im coming from.
Secondary Infertility can be a very hard thing to go through, heck I would even say very traumatic.
I am sorry that you are going through this. I know how hard it is. I also had one son when I was 19 then struggled the same way you are for 7 years before my second son was born with the help of IVF. The emotional toll is very overwhelming and I wish it on no one.
Hang in there and I hope you are wrong in your feelings that it didnt work, maybe you will be pleasantly surprised.
We are here for you whenever you need to talk or just vent.
Toni, I am so sorry you're feeling so down right now. I haven't had as many losses as you, but I've had 2 in my life and that's more than enough. I'm hoping this works for you soon! You sound like a wonderful person and a great mom! Keep your chin up sweetie, we are all pulling for you....
Remember, what you're feeling is normal for those of us dealing w/ IF. It's hard but we can get through this! Lean on us when you need us, and we'll help you when we can.
Good luck sweetie, hang in there!
__________________ Angie
Angie 35
Brian 33
DSD Caitlin 11
ttc our #1 for 5 yrs
angel baby 10/26/02 unknown pg till m/c @ home
angel baby 01/22/07 @7 wks 2 days
angel baby 08/01/07 @7 wks 2 days
angel baby 11/07/07 @5 wks 5 days
Hi Toni...Just wanted to add to what the others said to you....
YES the pain is VERY normal....I lost my first baby at 13 weeks...I was so excited...and thought I was "out of the woods" so I was telling EVERYONE at that point...After I had a couple of days to absorb everything DH took me out to a jewlery store and bought me a necklace...It is a tiny ring of emeralds (may birthstone...when I had the m/c) with a tiny baby shoe that hangs from it...He bought it for me so I would always have my First child with me. It was amazing how this little piece of jewlery helped me heal.... Concidently...I gave birth to my son 1 week short of it being a year from when my m/c happened....Everyone has to do what works for them and take the time they need to heal!!!! Just wanted to share that with you!
AS for this month being a bust.....AS we ALL always say it is NOT over to AF is HERE!!!! Hang in there!!!! Sending you tons of baby vibes and dust!!!!
I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I can't say that I know the pain of miscarriage because I've never been pregnant but I can imagine that kind of devastation adds insult to injury. Infertility is such a struggle and something that I'd never wish on anyone, even my worst enemy. I think all of us ladies share in your pain and feelings of lonliness. As supportive and loving as I'm sure all of our families are, no one can truly understand what you're going through unless they've experienced infertility. Infertility has taken over my life. I don't feel like I'm in control of anything anymore because my world revolves around taking medication, scheduling appointments, tracking ovulation, timing sex, juggling work obligations, blah, blah, blah. Then to top it off we all seem to share the common thread of knowing other women that abuse/neglect/take for granted their privilege of motherhood. I really, really wish it was as simple as a conscious psychological decision-those that desperately want children are able, those that don't want children are not able. How idealistic is that-ha. This message board has been my saving grace many times in the recent months. I think my decision to seek out support from others struggling with infertility was the most theraputic thing I've done throughout this whole process. I know that you've been disappointed alot but just remember that each month brings new hope. Pamper yourself, try to occupy your waiting with something you enjoy, cry and vent to us-that's what we're all here for. Good luck!
I am so sorry about what you are feeling. IF is SO HARD on the mind and heart. Even when we do get pregnant the mental and emotional battle doesnt stop. I hope that those are implantation cramps.
__________________
Rachel
DH 31 Me 30
TTC #1 5y
Clomid and Femara
IUI 1-3
IVF #1
FET #1
FET #2 !!!! Beta 6/4 493, Beta 6/6 1262!!!!!!
ULTRASOUND 6/19!! TWINS!!!
So sorry for the emotional rollercoaster you are going through. This is a tough process and it sounds like you have been through a hell of a lot. We are here for you. Hang in there.
__________________
Laura
TTC #1 since May 06
Me: 37
Hubbie: 36
May 06-March 07 naturally
April 07 to Sept. 07: IUIs w/ 50 mg Clomid
Laparoscopy Oct 2: External fibroids found
Abdominal Myomectomy Oct 31: removed 12 fibroids
Nov 07: IUI #5 w/50 mg Clomid
Dec 07: IUI#6, no meds, 40 day cycle
Jan 08: Started Follistim, IUIs 1/30 & 1/31
Feb 08: Follistim, IUIs 2/23 & 2/24 chemical pregnancy
March 08: Follistim, IUIs 3/25 & 3/26
Feeling devastated
Re: Feeling devastated
I know how hard it is. I also had one son when I was 19 then struggled the same way you are for 7 years before my second son was born with the help of IVF. The emotional toll is very overwhelming and I wish it on no one.
!!!! Beta 6/4 493, Beta 6/6 1262!!!!!!
