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This is a discussion on Donor IUI - my story within the Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) forums, part of the Trying to Conceive - Infertility category; I am posting a new thread so I dont steal someone elses and in that thread I was asked about ...
I am posting a new thread so I dont steal someone elses and in that thread I was asked about using a donor for IUI. Plus I guess I am doing this backwards instead of posting on the board prior to getting pregnant but I have an online friend here I want to support and see her get her lifes dream too, along with everyone else here.
1st a little history, as I said in that post I am now a 38 yr old single woman who wanted really bad to be a mom and the thoughts of doing it solo started over 5 yrs ago. I have tried dating and such but never found Mr Right and was even looking for Mr Okay but decided in 04 to do the donor thing. The 1st try in 04 failed and the 2nd on clomid worked, but at 8wks I found out that I had M/C and had to had a D&C. I will never know why but my thoughts were the donor I picked was A+ and I am A-. I had a few tries in 05 and 06 and they failed too. 07 was my year and I did clomid and injectiables and try 3 worked and I am finally a mom to a sweet 3 wk old. My trys each year were limited to funds from my IRS returns so I would only get 2 to 4 trys a year. Sperm isnt cheap and neither are the appointments or drugs but they are great tax write offs for medical expenses.
So now how did I chose.
The 1st 2 years I used a renknown clinic in Dallas and was given a book of donors and went by traits that liked and chose 1, again he was A+ and I really think that is what caused the M/C.
The last 2 years I used the hospital close to home and went online to one of the large Donor centers from teh east coast that was suggested. Again I went by traits that I liked and this time I made sure we were both the same blood type. My only issues with the last donor was his sperm counts so the last try (#3) I used 2 vials and bingo, 36 weeks later I have a precious baby boy.
I looked at their physical aspects, medical history and that of their family, education and goals. The last donor I picked has the same interests as I do and his physical description was close to that of my familys.
The decision to use a donor and someday deal with a child that might be mad at me for going this and how he will feel knowing that he will never know his father is something I will deal with as it happens. It wasnt an easy decision because I always figured I would be married by 25 and have 4 kids by 40 but that didnt happen and I wasnt going to totally give up the dream and look back at 60 and hate my life choices. It is hard doing this solo and there were times when you read about everyone elses DH/DO helping out and there is no one to share with, 1st U/S, 1st kicks, his birth and all of the other 1sts. So I made sure that I was the one that enjoyed them as much as possible and then did some of them like cut his cord ( well trim since I had to have an emergent c-section) and such.
No matter what I am very happy and wouldnt change any thing.
Thank you for sharing your story. We also have done donor iui 4 times, the 1st resulted in our DD. We are currently trying for #2 with our 4th round. Donor choice is something we never really struggled with,, we didn't have much choice. I don't know if the blood type really plays much into it, but to be safe, we also used a neutral blood type....O...that also is the same as DH's.
When it comes time, if ever, we want to tell her just how much we wanted and prayed for her. That God chose this direction for our lives and led us to her. I'm not sure how she will take this news. I pray she will know our love for her and that will be enough. It may not. We won't know until the time comes. Of course, it would be nice to stick our heads in the sand and pray it never comes up. I guess you just have to have faith that your choices right now are the right ones for you and your children. As we get ready for our next iui, the shipment of "swimmers" is in and we are desperate to have anouther child, the last 2 iui's resulted in misscarraige. I have faith that this new donor will give us our greatest dream yet, a sibling for our dear daughter and anouther little person for us to love. That's why we are all here I guess.
Thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes this is a very lonely road and even with the friendly faces, it's nice to know someone else has walked in your same shoes, so to speak.
the blood type plays into the RH factor, if you are a neg mom and you pick a pos donor or DH is pos then you body can see the pos as a virus or bug and attack it. That is why you have to have a rhogram shot if you are a neg mom with a possible pos baby. The common rule is too that baby will take dads blood type too.
I had 3 bleeding episodes with this pregnancy and was admitted twice and every time I got a shot
i am very confused..what is the RH factor? are you ladies telling me that IF you and your DH dont have the same blood types then your body attacks his sperm???? i have never had any idea about this. i would think if this were the case then WAY more people would have trouble getting preggo bcuz ont all of us have many diff blood types? what are the odds of marrying someone with a blood type you are compatible with?
i am very confused..what is the RH factor? are you ladies telling me that IF you and your DH dont have the same blood types then your body attacks his sperm???? i have never had any idea about this. i would think if this were the case then WAY more people would have trouble getting preggo bcuz ont all of us have many diff blood types? what are the odds of marrying someone with a blood type you are compatible with?
RHFactor is the neg or the pos charge of a blood type.
It doesnt matter what type you are A B AB or O, its just if you are pos/neg.
Sperm are fine as are your eggs, its just after it becomes a embryo or fetus that there is a chance of a neg mom with a pos daddy to have issues if moms body sees the pos fetus as an invader. That is why you get the shot, also if you are a neg mom and have unk/pos daddy anytime there is bleeding they will give you the shot.
I just wanted to make things easy and also have the same blood type as my son so that is why I chose the same as me. Babies often take daddys blood type and rh factor.
thank u so much for explaining everything!...i was very confused. i recently got my blood results back and i am O+!....im glad to know that cuz i have never known my blood type before i also had an HSG done yesterday which was quite interesting....
Hello everyone!! I am a former IUI poster here....For those of you who do not know my story...I too used donor sperm. We had 3 trys to concieve DS. I am now currently pregnant with the same donor to #2. This time only took ONE try!! I just wanted to give all of you hope!! It can and DOES happen! I want my childern to know the angle that our donor was and is to us. With out this persons selflessness we would not have our 2 angles. I hope that all of these donors live a tremendous life, because of him I know DH and I are!
Donor IUI - my story
Re: Donor IUI - my story
i also had an HSG done yesterday which was quite interesting....
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