dh asked me...

angie33 · #1 (**permalink**) 05-16-2007, 05:06 AM

why is it I can spend lots of time of the message boards, talking about IUI's, pregnancy, babies, etc. and I can't bring myself to voluntarily hang out w/ our pregnant friends??

We had been arguing, I am crazy hormonal over here between the progesterone suppositories and AF showing up, wow! He just doesn't get it."I" don't even want to be near me! lol

I told him I have complete control over my computer time. If I don't feel like talking, I lurk. If I don't want to hear about bfp's at that moment, I don't read the post right then. I go back and read it when I'm feeling stronger. If I am doing okay that day and someone else isn't, well then I try to lift them up. I can log on and off whenever I want without feeling the social awkwardness that I sometimes do being around my IRL friends. Which aren't mine, btw they're his and he says he's speaking of no one in particular but we have one couple that's pg. The only other is my bf and she's very upset to be pg, so she doesn't talk about it and she's not showing yet. (And she's very sensitive and supportive of my situation, the couple is not.)

When I lost my baby the 2 wives of his friends said, "sorry we didn't call. We didn't know what to say, but if it makes you feel better when we heard we called each other." Well in reality I was upset that they didn't even acknowledge the fact. I didn't need special treatment, just a quick note or call or something, ya know?

Do your dh's sometimes just not get it? I tried to explain but he got all agitated at me again and didn't want to hear the answer. We're having a hard time with money right now, just found out our most expen$ive cycle didn't work and it's causing a bit of stress. Normally he doesn't stress like this, but I haven't been the easiest person to live with lately....

Sorry AGAIN this is so long. He's not really talking to me and he's my best friend. So I've been a tad lonely, trying to ride it out.

Ladies have a good day and take care!

faithforababy77 · #2 (**permalink**) 05-16-2007, 05:59 AM

Angie - You're so right about being able to be on these boards and having control over what you read. That totally makes sense and I feel the same way. We just had an expensive cycle as well and are back-tracking from injectibles to Femara because of cost so I understand that as well.

I hope you have a better end of your week and weekend and that your DH will come around and understand more fully what we, as women, deal with in IF. Men just deal with things differently than we do AND they're not hormonal with meds and injections and timing and internal U/S every other day it seems

They have their own things they go through with IF and some men don't know how to express their disappointment in the best way.

I hope he'll eventually understand your point of view...if not, then you always know we're here to listen!

Have a great day and try to keep your chin up...I know...easier said than done sometimes!

angie33 · #3 (**permalink**) 05-16-2007, 06:45 AM

Thanks so much! I was hoping I wasn't crazy....lol

Men are strange creatures. But he said the other day that rocket science doesnt hold a candle understand females! haha

jenmom2myboys · #4 (**permalink**) 05-16-2007, 07:37 AM

Angie, SOmetimes I think men don't get it in general.I actually left Scot for a few days and just came home last night. We had been fighting like cats and dogs and believe me I am hormonal and I had enough. I called my Parents and they came and got Talon and I. HAng in there he'll coma around!

WannabeAMomma · #5 (**permalink**) 05-16-2007, 07:47 AM

I understand your position perfectly. The boards let you read when you want, and you don't have to worry about your expression. That's my fear--I have a baby shower to go to next week--and I'm really hoping I can be happy during the shower. But I anticipate that while i will hold it together during the shwoer, that the ride home will be weepy.

Earlier this week I"d commented that I felt more like myself this month since I'm off the hormones. And he commented "do you really think they affect you? do you think its just in your head?" And that really bothered me because, hell yeah, this stuff makes you crazy.

Just hang in there--you'll get through this!

can you plan a date night or do something more adventure like to get out of the house and forget everything else??? even if its a nature walk, or bike ride, that may be a good release for you both.

sedona01 · #6 (**permalink**) 05-16-2007, 08:25 AM

My hat goes off to any couple who goes through IF stuff and doesn't argue and get a bit crazy at some point. DH and I had some pretty rough times. The first time ttc it consumed me, I was a mess and most of the time I couldn't see or admit it. I finally went to a IF counselor, just ended up going once, as I got a bfp that cycle, but it was great. She totally "got it". Even though your journey is with your dh, your part of the journey is soooo much different. When we conceived our dd, dh and I were fighting so much, he was sleeping downstairs! I joke that I thought she would be an angry child b/c of our hard times. We've had a pretty rough last few years, but love has really seen us though! And now ttc #2, are we nuts? lol. But, we just kind of roll with it all now. Hang in there, just remember to keep talking and don't close the door to seeking help from an outsider. {{hugs}}