Well, we just got back from having my D&C. I had an ultrasound scheduled for this morning with my doctor, it would have been our third. We'd already had two where we saw and heard the heartbeat. I was in my 11th week of pregnancy. Then on Wednesday night I started spotting and everyone said not to worry because it was only brown blood. But I knew something was wrong. I had felt the last week like my symptoms subsided a bit and I read in my books that is common because the placenta could be taking over around this time. Unfortunately when they took us in yesterday for an ultrasound the baby's heart had stopped beating and had stopped growing probably last week. I'm so devasted right now. I have gone through every emotion it seems. Just when I think I can't cry anymore I start again. This was just such a shock. I thought for sure that since we'd heard the heartbeat and it was strong, 170!, that we would be okay. The doctor says we have to wait 2 months to try again. But then we'll be doing another IUI. I really don't feel anyone can understand this except for all the ladies on here. Has anyone been through this before? Does it get more bearable with time?

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Lena

Me-30, annovulatory
DH-35
MFI-low morphology/motility
TTC#1 on and off for 3 years
02/08 Clomid 50mg+HCG trigger IUIs 02/23,02/24
BFP on 03/09 with HPT!!!
Beta on 03/10 185
Beta on 03/12 452
Ultrasound 03/28 one baby, one blinking heart beat!
Ultrasound on 04/11 heard the heartbeat, it was 170
Miscarriage on 04/24 at almost 11 weeks, D&C on 04/25/08
Waiting to start ttc again.....

Oh Lena. I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say. I am just so upset for you. Even though I have not been through it, I am sure it must be the hardest thing. You are in my thoughts and I hope that you heal with time. Please let me know if there is anything you need. I am so sorry to hear such sad news from you. Please try to take good care of yourself.

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Laura
TTC #1 since May 06
Me: 37
Hubbie: 36
May 06-March 07 naturally
April 07 to Sept. 07: IUIs w/ 50 mg Clomid
Laparoscopy Oct 2: External fibroids found
Abdominal Myomectomy Oct 31: removed 12 fibroids
Nov 07: IUI #5 w/50 mg Clomid
Dec 07: IUI#6, no meds, 40 day cycle
Jan 08: Started Follistim, IUIs 1/30 & 1/31
Feb 08: Follistim, IUIs 2/23 & 2/24 chemical pregnancy
March 08: Follistim, IUIs 3/25 & 3/26
13dpiui, beta hcg 88, Progesterone 41.3 (with prog. supp.)
15dpiui, beta hgc 212, Progesterone 36.8 (with prog. supp.)
22dpiui, beta hgc 5613, Progesterone 41.6 (with prog. supp.)
27dpiui, beta hcg 22302, Progesterone 28.3 (stopped prog. supp.)
31dpiui, beta hcg 42135, Progesterone 31.6
34dpiui, beta hcg 60422, Progesterone 27

Lena, sounds almost identical to my loss. We had 3 u/s with a heartbeat each time the last 2 being 158. We thought we were out of the woods and at my 11 week OB appt they couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler and ended up doing an internal u/s to find no heartbeat and the baby was only measuring 10weeks, I too underwent the D&C after 5 days of waiting for it to occur naturally. Physically the recovery was quick but emotionally it has been rough. The first two weeks were the hardest, I cried several times a day as well as crying myself to sleep more than half of the nights. Now I get a little teary eyed every once in awhile but I am trying to move on and hopefully will have a healthy and happy 9 month pregnancy real soon. In my signature you will see a qoute someone sent me in a card when I was going through the rough time and it has helped me. I hope you will find strength in something also. Good luck to you and know I, as well as several others here, will be here to help you through this.

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TTC 8+ years
2003- 3 unmedicated IUI's w/o monitoring
2004- 3 50mg Clomid cycles w/o monitoring
2007- 3 100mg Clomid cycles w/ monitoring and Ovidrel Trigger
11/11/07
1/4/08 U/S confirmed Missed M/C
1/9/08 D&C
March & April 2008- 100mg Clomid cycles w/monitoring and Ovidrel
May 2008- Follistim+Ovidrel
5/29
6/3- Chemical Pregnancy

I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't lose my baby at 11 wks but I lost my child at 38 weeks( perfectly healthy child) and it was devastating. The pain has gotten better but it is always there. I pray for your healing and I hope this year brings you another little one. When I lost Chase I wanted to get pregnant right away and I am glad that I have had the time to grieve. I realize now that even if I do have another baby or adopt nothing will take the place of the child I lost. Give yourself time to heal. One of the best places I have found for support from a loss is Child miscarriage support and child death support website. The grief of child loss - a great web site for all sorts of mc or stillborn/ child loss.

Take care,
Heidi.

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Heidi

[url=http://counters.families.com][/url

First IUI November 9 & 10 (double)
BFP November 24
Due Date August 2nd (will deliver July 20th)
Stillborn 38 weeks

I had my M/C at 8wks, 2 wks after I had seen and heard the HB confirming my pregnancy. I couldnt afford another try for a year and I think that I needed that time to heal. My hospital has annual memorial services for those little ones lost early and they put up a headstone for that year. I still ponder ( less with time ) the little one that I didnt get to see and what he/she would have been like and what would I be doing now with a 4yr old.

Take your time to grieve if necessary and know that you are not alone. It will be okay and you will too with time.

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Lena I'm so very sorry, Idon't have anything to add, I've never lost that late. Take the time you need to mourn you child.

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Thank you all for the kind and supporting words.

Khickey, Yes, I noticed your quote before. It does seem fitting. I lost a little sister to leukemia several years ago and at that time I sort of adopted the theory that "everything happens for a reason". It was the only way I could deal with it and move on. Still, I really don't want to hear that from anyone except people that I feel really can understand a loss like that or wanting something like a child so badly.Even those of you that haven't had a miscarriage can empathise because you know how hard you have to work to have a child in the first place. You know? That's why I come on these boards. I've had several phone calls from people wishing me well and how sorry they are. I know they mean well, but one of my friends told me it just wasn't meant to be. She's never even lost a grandparent and has 3 healthy children! I guess I'm just not ready to talk to anyone else yet except you guys and my husband and parents.

Heidi,
Thank you for sharing your story. I can't even imagine this happening at 38 weeks. I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm glad to hear that it did not break you. I hope you go on to have a healthy child very soon.

This is just so hard to have this happen after we've been planning for it. I came home Thursday and just spent an hour going through the house and putting all my maternity clothes and pregnany books and snoogle in the nursery (luckily we hadn't started decorating) and shut the door. The worst part is I started showing so early so I had people at work asking me if I was pregnant. And last week I finally felt comfortable telling them all since we'd seen the heartbeat and all. I refuse to put my maternity clothes back on. I'll go out today and buy some larger pants for the time being. I've already noticed my stomach has gone down a bit. The doctor said I can start working out again in a few days. I guess I will just take one day at a time. I"m sure I'll be on here more. I hope you all don't mind. We plan to start again in 2 months like the doctor said we could. We'll go with IUI again since that worked the first time. Thanks again for all your kind words. It really does help.

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Lena

Me-30, annovulatory
DH-35
MFI-low morphology/motility
TTC#1 on and off for 3 years
02/08 Clomid 50mg+HCG trigger IUIs 02/23,02/24
BFP on 03/09 with HPT!!!
Beta on 03/10 185
Beta on 03/12 452
Ultrasound 03/28 one baby, one blinking heart beat!
Ultrasound on 04/11 heard the heartbeat, it was 170
Miscarriage on 04/24 at almost 11 weeks, D&C on 04/25/08
Waiting to start ttc again.....

Lena,

I, too would like to offer my condolences. It does get a little more bearable with time, but you will never forget. M/c IMO is the hardest thing to come to terms with. I've lost four precious angels, had D & C's with 2 of them, and I know exactly how you feel. We have alot more in common as I showed early and we'd already heard the heartbeat. I was only 7 wks 2 days but it still cut me to the core.

I am glad you get to try again soon and I hope you're not very far away from holding a baby in your arms. But no matter if you go on to have a dozen children, you will never forget your angel.

Please take care of yourself and please let us know if we can do anything. Again, I am so terribly sorry.......there are just no words that will make you feel better right now, but we are here for you whenever you need us. Okay?

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Angie

Angie 35
Brian 33
DSD Caitlin 11
ttc our #1 for 5 yrs

angel baby 10/26/02 unknown pg till m/c @ home
angel baby 01/22/07 @7 wks 2 days
angel baby 08/01/07 @7 wks 2 days
angel baby 11/07/07 @5 wks 5 days

Lena, Just wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss. I had a m/c my first IUI/Injectibles cycle after several failed clomid/IUIs. It was much earlier than yours though. Iended up getting pregnant again the next cycle with twins. I had several ultrasounds because I hyperstimmed. Both babies had strong heartbeats. I went in around 14 weeks for an ultrasound and I could tell by the tchs reaction something was wrong. One of our twins had passed. I was very lucky that I was still pregnant with one of the babies, he is a happy and healthy 2 year old. I just wanted to give you some hope and wish you good luck on your next cycle!

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