Back from consult w/ RE...

angie33 · #1 (**permalink**) 11-15-2007, 12:21 PM

Well, the verdict is in....no more IUI's, no Heparin, or laps or other tests or procedures. She said she's certain my egg quality is bad and our only hope is IVF w/ PGD, IVF w/ DE, or adoption. This is due to an eating disorder before puberty that messed up my body. I am fine now, but the damage is done.Dh & I have to decide which path to choose. I am for today, devastated. We had to scrimp on things and save for a simple IUI. As I've said before, we live in a rural area and don't make alot of money. Insurance would probably cover nothing. (Not sure about labs and things may cover some of that, but my insurance is not good.)

She said we could spend $14,000 to do the PGD w/ my eggs, but if they're all bad, then we're out that money. We could go straight to DE, for only $12,000 or just go straight to adoption. My sister's husband has forbid her to donate her eggs.(She had offered a few months ago) I have no other siblings. I feel like doors are slamming all over the place.

My best friend called me on the way to the RE's office, to announce that she woke up in labor early this a.m. and delivered a son. This baby wasn't planned and not necessarily wanted. They are poor, with several children and didn't need another one. The reason why they had this one is her dh refused to watch the other children while she got her tubes tied. So she didn't. He didn't even bring her and baby home last time. She had to call her MIL to come get her.....sigh. So later today after this news I get to go buy gifts and visit her at the hospital.

Talk about personal growth, huh? lol

Thanks for letting me just ramble on. Sorry it's so longwinded and I'm sure some of it doesn't make sense. I feel out of sorts today. Dh & I have much to think about/discuss. And I have to find a way to make alot of cash.

I'm open to suggestions and/or opinions. I'm kinda lost right now.

Ladies, if you don't mind, could you send up a little prayer for us? We need some guidance and help finding out what our path to parenthood is...

Thank you all.....

Celi · #2 (**permalink**) 11-15-2007, 02:02 PM

Ohh Angie I'm so sorry

I was hoping you would have more options

Well what path to choose is really hard to tell... I think that it depends on what you fell you need... Like do you fell you really need to get pg or you would be just so happy to have a baby in your arms... I don't know... I would do adoption even know that I'm pg, but my DH...

You are in my prayers!!!

mieko25 · #3 (**permalink**) 11-15-2007, 04:44 PM

I am so sorry Angie, this sounds so sad. I wish I could help.

Does the RE know for know for sure that all you eggs damaged due to a eating disorder? It just would be a lot money to do waste if they did the IVF if you egg quality was bad. How much does adoption run angie?

It sounds like your friend is a mess, hopefully her and husband can work things out. Does she know all you are going through right now? If I were her I would gave this baby to you.

I wil keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

babidius · #4 (**permalink**) 11-16-2007, 07:22 AM

Angie, I'm so sorry!! I hope you and DH can decide where to go from here and I will definitley keep you in my prayers!

meriandbob · #5 (**permalink**) 11-16-2007, 08:10 AM

Wow! I'm sorry your appointment different go differently. I can imagine how confused/stressed you must be right now.
Personally, I wouldn't give up on your own eggs at this point. That seems like such a big decision to make when you still don't really have all your questions answered.

I would undoubtly get a 2nd opinion. I know you had said your from a pretty rural area, but hopefully you can find another RE in a reasonable distance. Even if you just go once for a consult. Its always good to have another set of eyes (or two) look over your case.

I would also ask to have your FSH done again. That's a simple/inexpensive test & I know for myself that I'd want to have it checked one more time before making such a big decision. What is ever high in the past?

How about your chromosome tests? Did you have the tissue tested after any of your m/c's? If so, what were those results? Normal/abnormal?

Another thing I would want to try beforehand, is possibly up'ing my progesterone. That's another inexpensive thing to try.

Please know that I'm just giving some suggestions. I can relate to feeling so overwhelmed & I hope I'm not making it worse. I just wanted you to feel like there ARE some more options you could try IF you're not ready to make the move to IVF or donor egg.

AkaMsPris · #6 (**permalink**) 11-16-2007, 08:49 AM

Angie...I am soo sorry...as you know you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had the answer for you...I do agree with Meri I would def get a 2nd opinion before making such a huge decision. Also I was wondering if you have sat down and had a heart to heart with your sisters dh and your sister (if her eggs are one of your conciderations) Have you been open and really sat down and spoken to them...Sometimes people make hasty decision with out thinking about it...I was in a similar spot with all of that...just reverse...the option was to ask BIL for his sperm. we chose not to...more so because they are having fertillity problems themselves...4 failed IVF's so it would have been weird but then it would have be really hard for SIL...I can not stand her nor do I get along with her but I still couldn't do that to her....Point being it was an option...
I do not know what the cost is for ivf with donor....I do know that people have gotten a credit card for only ivf treatments, taken equity out on a house. taken out a personal loan...ect... you just have to decide how far you are willing to go....

My continued thoughts are with you.......

meriandbob · #7 (**permalink**) 11-16-2007, 09:34 AM

I would also ask to have your FSH done again. That's a simple/inexpensive test & I know for myself that I'd want to have it checked one more time before making such a big decision. What is ever high in the past?

Oops, that was supposed to be "Was it ever high in the past?"

SweetMissAngel · #8 (**permalink**) 11-16-2007, 10:18 AM

I'm sorry Angie. I know this is not what you wanted to hear. If it were not for the money issue, you would at least have a plan for what to do next. Is there any chance you could change insurance plans? I know the end of the year tends to be the time when changes can be made with insurance plans. The one we use (BCBS Minnesota) has a $15,000 lifetime max for fertility treatments. Maybe you could look around for coverage that includes that kind of coverage. A second opinion is good too. Maybe you could also shop around to see if there is anywhere within an overnight trip distance where the procedure is less expensive. I really hope there is a way you can figure it all out. If you do end up looking into adoption, if you do it through the state, there are no extravagant fees. There are plenty of kids in state care who desperately need homes. Whatever you decide, we are here for you. Please stay in touch about how you are doing.