What do you do??

kirsten62975 · #1 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 06:05 PM

When you just aren't clicking with someone at your RE's office? Someone you deal with a lot, even more than your RE.

I've tried many different tactics to get this person to maybe warm up to me, but it's a no go. They don't seem very compassionate for the situation. But a plus is they are very timely returning calls. Although they don't offer up any insight into the process, I feel like I have to drag things out of them. That I am an annoyance. They have about as much enthusiasm as the guy that made the guac this morning at Chipotle!

I thought it was me until we went over my schedule yesterday. It's very difficult to read the handwriting. My husband even commented on the attitude we got. And the handwriting!

My hairdresser's sister also works at this same office, I'm thinking about asking her to get a different person assigned to me. I'm not questiong this person's skill in anyway, I just want someone that is interested in whether this works out for us...

The bc pills have me so whacked out I had a panic attack about it in the middle of the night!

What do you guys think?? Should I leave it alone? Or ask for another person?

Tanya2334 · #2 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 06:19 PM

Kirsten-
This is just my opinion but this is such an important and emotional process that I feel that you should be comfortable and work with someone who you click with. The last thing you need is to not feel comfortable working with this person. I see nothing wrong with talking to the office and finding a better fit. It happens all the time in healthcare. Good luck!

kirsten62975 · #3 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 06:25 PM

So, in theory, they wouldn't be offended or angry?

Granted they might be relieved to be rid of me!!

Tanya2334 · #4 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 06:31 PM

I don't know what their reaction may be but you are the patient and you definately have the right to switch medical staff if you are not happy. I did not like my first RE's office I had, the nurses were very short and I always felt like I was bothering them, but I was lucky enough to be able to switch and I am so much happier. I am interested to see what others think too or if anyone has experienced this.

psycojenni · #5 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 08:14 PM

I think that what matters is that you are comfortable. I know that you are worried about offending someone but if you don't feel tha thtey understand or listen to what you say it doesn't matter how good they are or how much they know. This can be quite the ride and you need to feel like you can ask as many questions as you need. I say if there is another nurse that you can use then I would ask to be changed.

ainara · #6 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 08:37 PM

When I first went to my RE's office (a year ago) I got this nurse that was just awful, we were not doing IVF just monitoring for Clomid and timed sex, then we did an IUI, but since I didn't see her that much I let it go; then we took a break for almost a year, when I came back and the doc. said we needed IVF I requested a different nurse, I explain to my doc. that we had a personality problem, maybe it was my accent that she didn't understand well but we definitely didn't click, the doctor said that it was no problem at all, that we were going to be doing a very special procedure and we all needed to be on the same page, we got another nurse who is a sweetheart, I never felt any kind of animosity in the office even with other nurse present, but we always make sure to don't make any kind of comments with the new nurse about the old one, because at the end of the day they work together and maybe are even friends.

So yeah I would talk to the doc. and ask for a different nurse.

Cyndie · #7 (**permalink**) 07-09-2008, 09:06 PM

I agree with asking for a change. It's hard for me to imagine a nurse in this position not having a very caring rapport with every single patient.

reneerenee · #8 (**permalink**) 07-10-2008, 02:53 AM

I agree with the previous posts. My only advice is to make sure the office is large enough that it has more than one nurse. My office is a satellite and only has one. It would be a bit awkward if you requested a new nurse and couldn't get one and she found out and you still had to work with her. Then again, though, maybe she needs to know she is being a b*tch. But if it's possible, I would jump ship asap!

kirsten62975 · #9 (**permalink**) 07-10-2008, 03:59 AM

It's a big office, and my doc has more than one nurse, but they share voice mail... My hairdresser's sister is a nurse there too, different doc, so I am going to have her discretely help me get a new one...

Thanks for the input!

want2beamommy13 · #10 (**permalink**) 07-10-2008, 07:14 AM

I can relate to this, Kirsten. When I switched RE's, I was very upset to leave the staff at my old RE's office. The doctors I certainly could do w.out and I LOVE my new RE but I was NOT fond of her staff AT ALL! They just had this very laid back attitude and it always made me SO nervous because I feel like this is a situation where you need people who are 'on top of things' and I never quite got that impression. In addition to that, I felt as though they weren't even 1/2 as compassionate as what I was used to. I felt as though I was 'being a pain' each time I had a question and trust me, I had ALOT of them, as most ppl goign through this do.

My RE in the sole dr in the practice and her staff consists of one lab tech, one office Manager and Receptionist. All of my procedures are done at another facility so the monitoring is all done w. those select ppl so there was NO option to change and really, nothing I could do if I wanted to stay w. this RE and still feel comfortable going there but I was left feeling very frustrated and misunderstood. And mind you, I came from a practice w. NO voice mail! You could always talk to someone during normal business hours. My new practice you've got a better shot at hitting the pick 6 than having someone answer the phone - no matter what time of day it is! Although they're good at calling back, when you need to talk to someone, minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days......arent we already stressed out enough!?!?

At one point early on BOTH the Office Manager and the Lab Tech were pregnant at the same time. I remember before they delivered thinking that they shouldnt be able to work there walking around w. those bellies that I had to look at each morning! Anyways, one morning I was there for monitoring, the Office Manager had just returned from her maternity leave and you could tell she was not really happy about being back to work so we got into talking about if I had plans about who would watch my kids or if I was going right back to work and then she proceeded to tell me how 'tough' it is when you cant just 'up and go to the movies w. your husband anymore'.

I mean SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!??!?!?! I had wanted SO much to talk to the RE but considering how SMALL the practice was and how much I liked her, I felt my concerns were better left unaddressed.

I have never had any 'major' problems.........well except when my husband's frozen sample exploded all over the lab tech one day

course it wasn't so funny when it happened! But for the most part, I've learned to deal w. what goes on there, because I have faith in my RE and I know that she has my best interests at heart.

Its been a year now that I've been at that practice and I've been through ALOT in that past year and FINALLY, I'm starting to feel more 'welcomed there'. Honestly, I feel as though EVERYONE is now on board w. FINALLY getting me PG for good this time! It took a long time though. I'm rambling now but my point is, you HAVE a choice! And its SO important for you to be happy/confident w. who you're working with through this so I fully support you requesting another nurse! It would have made my 1st cycles so much easier had I had someone a little more compassionate, understanding and organized.

GOOD LUCK!

aquarianangel · #11 (**permalink**) 07-10-2008, 09:40 AM

I am in the same position as you.

Actually I am thinking of changing REs. The first RE I saw at this clinic was a little bit older, more understanding and happy to explain things.But she retired. The new RE is kinda goofy....stuck in her own mind/thought process. She is nice but not exactly communicative and the analysis she might do in her mind does not get communicated to us. We have to prod and pester her with questions to get some info.

The nurse at this office, I was not happy with from before. Like your nurse, she is not bad but she is not empathetic. She is bad at drawing blood, bad at getting back to you and not really very prompt in anything. For example, I left her a message two days ago about needing new script for slow acting metformin, but she did not return my call. I called her twice and asked the receptionist to have her call me back, but nothing, nada!

She is also not great at explaining the protocols. SO everything with her is a hit or miss.

I am seriously thinking of changing RE, but love the fact that this practice consists of many REs and my cycle does not depend upon one particular RE's schedule.

jamielynn0021 · #12 (**permalink**) 07-10-2008, 11:24 AM

I am going thru the same thing with my nurse. I ALWAYS feel like I am bugging her (you can tell she gets annoyed). But the truth is we pay A LOT of money and we should have compassionate people working with us on this journey!

m rohn · #13 (**permalink**) 07-10-2008, 04:32 PM

Ditto with Jamielynn!! (sorry, I didn't know how to do the quote thing).

But the truth is we pay A LOT of money and we should have compassionate people working with us on this journey!