New-Can hardly wait!!!

kirsten62975 · #1 (**permalink**) 06-17-2008, 03:39 PM

So I thought I'd find some other folks in the same boat!

My hubby and I are planning to start our first cycle in July... we're planners, ok I'm a planner!!! I want to try for a May baby and well starting in July would be the right time for that.

So here I am "patiently" waiting...

I already have the whole nursery worked out in my head, and I thinking through my registry, here in a minute I'll probably start reading up on Montessori schools!!! Ok, I admit I did look at one...

I guess I fall into the "tubal factor" group. I had my tubes tied... before I had any children. LOOOONG story... so this is my first try... I'm nervous! This is a big step for hubby and me since we never thought we would even try to have kids...

*sigh* Hi *waves*

Staciewi · #2 (**permalink**) 06-17-2008, 05:50 PM

Heya Kirsten

You will find a ton of support here, we are glad to have you here.

Have you been lurking long?

Well I have all night, I am up for a long story, that is if you want to share.

You will find a wealth of info here and you will love it!

jamielynn0021 · #3 (**permalink**) 06-17-2008, 06:27 PM

I think the waiting is the hardest part!!! I start stimming July 8th, so you shouldn't be to far behind me. Welcome and good luck!

Nicky7 · #4 (**permalink**) 06-17-2008, 06:52 PM

and

Glad you're here... hope your stay is short and sweet!

kirsten62975 · #5 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 02:44 AM

No, I have not been lurking long... I think my husband and friends are getting a little tired of talking about baby stuff, so I thought I should look for other people in the same boat!

You really want the long story.... I'll try to make it brief. *deep breath* My mother suffered from Bi polar disorder and has always refused treatment, still to this day in fact! She is also a diagnosed Narcissist, trust me nasty combination! My father was totally unable to cope with her for reasons of his own. I am an only child and thus ws the primary focus of her abuse. Growing up I felt like I was the parent... and a lousy one at that! My mother got so bad that her psychiatrist had me removed from the home for my safety at 14. Then when I got my tubes tied, my marriage wasn't too hot. And my mother in law had given me a lecture about how she never would have let me marry her son if she thought I wanted children. It wouldn't be fair for me to that to him. So at 25 I talked my gyno into tying my tubes. At 29 I realized I wanted children but thought my husband was not the guy to do it with! So I left my husband for a period, but by the grace of God he totally changed, and we got back together 2 months later... Three years later he's still the same guy he changed into while I was gone, so I think it stuck. We looked into having it reversed but my doc removed too much of the muscular portion of my tubes, so now we are going to pursure IVF.

Told you it was a long story... and don't say you're sorry. Everyone says that! I'm not sorry. I have a great life now, it's better than I ever thought day to day living could be! I have friends and a marriage better than my wildest dreams!!! It hurt, and there were times I hurt myself, but standing where I am now I would never take it back!

So, we are doing this all on the sly... well my Dad and step mom know and they are totally supportive. We also have a lot of support from our bible study, friends, co workers, bosses, etc. We'll tell his parents after I am through my first trimester... just so they don't upset me and mess things up!

Ok, now it's off to work with me... you all have a good day!

kirsten62975 · #6 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 02:50 AM

[quote=kirsten62975;7160541]Told you it was a long story... and don't say you're sorry. Everyone says that! I'm not sorry. I have a great life now, it's better than I ever thought day to day living could be! I have friends and a marriage better than my wildest dreams!!! It hurt, and there were times I hurt myself, but standing where I am now I would never take it back!

QUOTE]

OK, just to clarify... I would take back the part where I got my tubes tied!!!

But what's done is done... dwelling on it won't change it.

Nicky7 · #7 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 03:34 AM

Sounds like you've been through a lot, Kirsten. Thanks for sharing your story, and welcome to our board!

SpoiledHouseWife · #8 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 04:20 AM

Originally Posted by kirsten62975

No, I have not been lurking long... I think my husband and friends are getting a little tired of talking about baby stuff, so I thought I should look for other people in the same boat!

You really want the long story.... I'll try to make it brief. *deep breath* My mother suffered from Bi polar disorder and has always refused treatment, still to this day in fact! She is also a diagnosed Narcissist, trust me nasty combination! My father was totally unable to cope with her for reasons of his own. I am an only child and thus ws the primary focus of her abuse. Growing up I felt like I was the parent... and a lousy one at that! My mother got so bad that her psychiatrist had me removed from the home for my safety at 14. Then when I got my tubes tied, my marriage wasn't too hot. And my mother in law had given me a lecture about how she never would have let me marry her son if she thought I wanted children. It wouldn't be fair for me to that to him. So at 25 I talked my gyno into tying my tubes. At 29 I realized I wanted children but thought my husband was not the guy to do it with! So I left my husband for a period, but by the grace of God he totally changed, and we got back together 2 months later... Three years later he's still the same guy he changed into while I was gone, so I think it stuck. We looked into having it reversed but my doc removed too much of the muscular portion of my tubes, so now we are going to pursure IVF.

Told you it was a long story... and don't say you're sorry. Everyone says that! I'm not sorry. I have a great life now, it's better than I ever thought day to day living could be! I have friends and a marriage better than my wildest dreams!!! It hurt, and there were times I hurt myself, but standing where I am now I would never take it back!

So, we are doing this all on the sly... well my Dad and step mom know and they are totally supportive. We also have a lot of support from our bible study, friends, co workers, bosses, etc. We'll tell his parents after I am through my first trimester... just so they don't upset me and mess things up!

Ok, now it's off to work with me... you all have a good day!

Sounds like you have been through alot, but I always tell myself, "What don't kill us will only make us stronger" and when thet don't seem like enough for me " This too shall pass". I had my tubes tied. I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in December.

I have been on the board since Feb 2006 and this by far is the best group of women. You have came to the right place for support.

SpoiledHouseWife · #9 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 04:22 AM

Then when I got my tubes tied, my marriage wasn't too hot. And my mother in law had given me a lecture about how she never would have let me marry her son if she thought I wanted children. It wouldn't be fair for me to that to him. So at 25 I talked my gyno into tying my tubes.

Wow, how does MIL feel about you having a baby, well atleast trying to have a baby?

Staciewi · #10 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 05:41 AM

Thanks for sharing that.

Wow has the MIL situation improved?

She sounds like a treat.

I am glad you are in a better place with your DH, sounds like everything brought you both closer
than ever, and I believe everything happens for a reason.

Good luck and ask anything you might have a question about.

want2beamommy13 · #11 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 06:16 AM

Hey Kirsten,

Welcome!

First I wanted to let you know that you are obviously a STRONG woman and so you will make it through this IVF journey JUST FINE! We've all got our 'demons' but you really made the most of your situation and you and your DH came out on top so I have no doubts with that type of perserverance that you will hold your baby some day! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

You've come to the right place for support. I hope your stay is short and sweet!

GOOD LUCK and feel free to jump in anywhere you'd like! You're one of us now! No one in the world could understand you better!!

Tanya2334 · #12 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 06:45 AM

Welcom Kristin- I am new here too and will be starting my first IVF in July. When do you think you will be starting? This board is full of wonderful, informative and helpful women who understand what you will be going through. Good luck!!

Justine · #13 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 06:51 AM

Hope all your plans fall into place perfectly! You found an awesome board. Don't know what I would have done without on most days!

hopeful gal · #14 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 08:41 AM

this is a great board with lots of support and I wish you first time success

Janay

ainara · #15 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 09:12 AM

Welcome Kristen, wow you sure have been trough a lot, well you have found the BEST place for your IVF journey, here you will find all the support and strength that is oh so needed during this difficult time.

I can understand when you say to don't say sorry, I went through a very difficult period a few years back, before I was diagnosed bipolar, and I even lost my marriage, thankfully my husband (then ex) took me to the a great psychiatrist and he put me on the right medication, since then my life has improved a million times, I have been to hell and back and I don't take anything for granted anymore, now I can appreciate how good my life and husband are, and all that perspective I got from being in the bottom, and now I wouldn't change a thing.

Anyways welcome, happy to have you with us.

kirsten62975 · #16 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 03:30 PM

Well, there wa an Ed Young teaching that I think has spoken to my situation... God was preparing me for what he had prepared forme! It's a thinker! Puts a whole different twist on things.

Then Joyce Meyers has a good view point... I may not be where I supposed to be, but thank God I'm not where I was.

What does the MIL think? I don't care! She can like it or lump it! We haven't told her because this is something we really want, so we don't want her to mess it up! Just to be on the safe side, she has a special ring assigned to her number, I just won't answer when she calls.... she lives far away. She'll find out when I mail her some pink and blue M&M's.

We hope to start in July after we get back from a Music festival. Told you all I was a planner!

Thanks for all the welcomes... I was getting scared I had wierded you all out!

aquarianangel · #17 (**permalink**) 06-18-2008, 08:25 PM

You have quite a story to tell!

Goodluck with your cycle! Hope all goes smoothly!

And welcome.

boxerluvr8 · #18 (**permalink**) 06-19-2008, 03:41 PM

You found a great group of ladies here to support you and cheer you on!!
BTW, I should be transferring around Aug. 6th and peeked at my RE's wheel (when they left the room...hehe) that tells you when your due date would be, and it said the due date would be Aprill 22nd. So if you transfer shortly after that then you'll be right on track for a May baby!! Sending positive thoughts your way!!!

Tkeys · #19 (**permalink**) 06-19-2008, 08:39 PM

Good luck! We got lucky our first try with IVF. This is a wonderful and supportive group. I also am a planner, so I understand how you are feeling!!