My 1st experience with a reaction towards my pg w/ donor embies

hollywog · #1 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:06 PM

My first experience with somone 's attitude towards my pg with donor embies...

The pharmacist filling my PIO order was asking about my cycle, which is perfectly fine. I am very open and don't mind sharing. She saw my twins and asked if I did IVF with them... yes... again, no problem. In our conversation I realized that she had been ttc for over a year so she was curious for good reason. I decided that since she was a total stranger and it didn't matter, I would share that this pg was with donor embies. The look on her face was amazing. She said, "I bet not many people could go for that". Good grief. I didn't bother addressing her change of attitude and just left. Geez. Guess that was my first lesson to keep my darn mouth shut about donor issues. I did tell her that we were ecstatic about how everything worked out before I left. I think she was just internalizing and showing her own fear of not being fertile or being able to use her own eggs, but she sure didn't have to let her face so much!

cesems · #2 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:18 PM

Holly I'm sorry that it turned out that way but you never know you really might have gave the the idea that one day she might choose to have a child, she most likely never thought of it but I bet it's played in her head all day now.

Kristin1112 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:24 PM

I think it's a personal choice, and until you are faced with it, it's hard to imagine.
We didn't have to use donor embies, but if this cycle had failed, that would have probably been our next step. Like everything else in IVF, we do things that maybe 3 years ago, we never would have thought we could do.
I think it's great, Holly!
And I'm so happy for you!!

Kristin

hollywog · #4 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:29 PM

It's funny... we tried to adopt and, well, it didn't turn out so great... so to us, this is like the JACKPOT!!

6 years ago, though, you're right... it would have been a hard thing to jump to. I'll have to remember that whenever crummy reactions show themselves!

heathablue · #5 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 03:24 PM

Unless someone is in your shoes, they just don't get it. Don't let other peoples opinions get to you. You know your choice was right, and that is all that matters.

Nicky7 · #6 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 03:39 PM

Yeah, been there. We did DE for our triplets, and have just found a couple to donate our 2 remaining embies to. I could write a book on the stupid reactions I've received from family/close friends to our DE news. I guess because we're so used to the idea of donor-assisted conception, it's "no big deal" to us but can sometimes be a big deal to others. I just keep remembering how very fortunate we are to live in a day and age when technology enables people like me to carry children... a generation ago this would not be possible.

Funny that you didn't have any trouble with the "was it IVF" question... I get really irritated. It is just not anyone's business. I find it so personal and not something I'm comfortable talking about with my electrician (recent example

). When someone has a singleton, no one asks "what position were you in when you conceived your child?"

reneerenee · #7 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 03:39 PM

You have hit the JACKPOT and anyone who doesn't get that, too bad for them:-)

Justine · #8 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 04:37 PM

Must share this story -- Family was in grocery store when my foster son starting calling my name, MOMMY very loudly and this couple in the other aisle starting talking -- to this day I don't know what they said - but DH turns to them and says -- Yeah she had one hell of a bachorlette party! Shut them right up!

We get it all the time, my family does not look like a typical family, and you should see some of the looks and comments we get. I say F them!!! This is my family and we love each other.

Holly don't ever think your decision was not correct!! IT Was and that baby your carrying is one very lucky little girl(?)!!!