My Update

wigsnbigs · #1 (**permalink**) 08-28-2004, 06:31 AM

Hi Everyone,

Thought I would update everyone on where we stand in this whole ttc thing. DH and I went to an informational meeting for adoption last week. I'm really afraid of domestic adoption and am leaning more towards international - Korea or China. We have not really discussed it since we went since we've had my 13 and 14 year old nieces staying with us for a week and a half. They came to help volunteer at the Buick Championship (PGA tour tournament). I also had a friend's 13 year old daughter for a couple of nights as well. Three teenage girls in the house! WHAT was I thinking?

They sure do giggle alot!

I've really enjoyed it though. Poor DH. I'll be taking them back home to Maine tomorrow.

I had an appointment with the RE on Thursday to discuss an injectible IUI cycle. I did cd 3 blood work this cycle so we wouldn't miss a cycle. The appointment was pretty discouraging, though. My fsh was 15.6. The current plan is to do 6 vials gonal-f & 2 amps pergonal/repronex with antagon suppression. Trigger with hcg and do the IUI. Then begin lovenox (heparin alternative) for the clotting disorder. But...we will only do it if my fsh is LESS than 15. Even if it is, the chance of success is less than 10%. IVF would probably only give us a 15-20% chance of success tops. So I guess I can put away my fertility monitor and not bother to ttc au naturale. Not going to happen!

The RE said the wait list for anonymous egg donor is 6 months to a year although it has been closer to 6 months lately. Now we just have to decide if we want to do egg donor, adopt or remain childless.

Well gotta go. We need to go back down to the TPC for the Tournament. I'm sure it's busy and they are missing their volunteers!

Lisa1021 · #2 (**permalink**) 08-30-2004, 10:10 AM

Hi Beth,

Its so good hearing from you. Sorry you have to go through what you have been. I understand what you are saying about the wait list for donor eggs. DH and I had to wait for a year before we got our donor. But once that happened things moved very very quickly. We got PG with twins on the first attempt. We have some embies left over for a sibbling if we decide to go that route in the future. I highly recommend donor egg.... though it isn't for everyone. I'm just very happy to be carrying my DH's genetic babies. I have to admit to going through a mourning period that they have no genetic link to me. However, as the days go by I'm finding my maternal instinct kicking into overdrive and it no longer seems to matter. I would fight to the death for these little ones.

Whatever you decide... donor or adoption... or continuing to try for your own... I wish you all the very best of luck. You've been through so much.

Lisa

wigsnbigs · #3 (**permalink**) 08-31-2004, 11:47 AM

Hi Lisa,

Thank you so much for your reply. I took my nieces back to Maine on Sunday and returned yesterday. Now that we have the house back, DH and I can discuss what we want to do. I'm in the process of getting my meds approved for the injectible IUI next cycle. Also, approval for the lovenox. AF should arrive Monday. Hmmm...can I get 6 vials of gonal-f in one syringe or am I going to have to break it up into 2 shots? What's one more needle?

Hopefully my fsh will be less than 15 and we can continue with the cycle. I'm only ordering 3 days of meds just in case. I don't want to be stuck with a cycle's worth of meds that I've paid for and can't use.

As for donor egg, I guess I think of it kind of like adoption. An adopted child has no biological link so if I'm ok with that, then why not donor egg? As well as knowing half the biology and medical history of the baby, you know the prenatal care. I'm not sure how DH feels about it. He says he's ok with both.

I have started my mourning period for a biological child of my own since my RE appointment last week. Even with the upcoming IUI, I'm not optimistic. I doubt that it will work. Part of me is saying "Why bother?". But I will. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, and besides, I'm not quite ready to give up.

I have to get back to work. Take care and keep those updates coming.

Bilinda · #4 (**permalink**) 08-31-2004, 04:44 PM

Hi Beth,

I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you. It is such a hard thing deciding which way to go. We had the same thing about 9 years ago when we decided to adopt our middle DD. Part of me wanted to do another IVF but the other part of me wanted the sure thing and to adopt the baby. We ended up adopting from Korea again and I am glad we did. Now there is a third option with donor eggs. That makes the decision even harder. I would highly recommend adoption because that worked out so well for us. The kids from Korea are so healthy and well cared for. I did end up getting pregnant a couple of years later and of course we were thrilled but I am so glad we adopted the other two.

Bilinda

Lisa1021 · #5 (**permalink**) 09-01-2004, 12:43 PM

Hi Beth,

I understand where you are coming from. Sounds like exactly the thought processes I went through. You have to follow your heart and know that you've done everything you can in your power to give this a shot. Miracles happen everday and who is to say that the miracle we are hoping for isn't right around the corner. I wish you tons and tons and TONS of luck with your upcoming cycle and will be

for you!

As for the subject of donor egg... It is such a wonderful option and I am so thankful that it was available to us. DH and I were prepared to attempt adoption and had even contacted an agency that deals with Russian adoptions. Becoming PG through DE was our miracle. Now DH and I can go through all the wonders of PG. These children aren't genetically linked to me, but I have the amazing opportunity to feel them moving inside me and bond with them this early. An opportunity I never would have had otherwise. I feel truely blessed.

Keep us posted on your IUI cycle. I'm really excited for you and will be crossing my fingers the whole time!

wigsnbigs · #6 (**permalink**) 09-01-2004, 02:34 PM

Hi Ladies,

Thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot to me. I know you both have been where I am and it really helps.

I had all my blood work updated last week since it had been more than a year. The nurse called me yesterday and said my thyroid was low and wanted to run a couple more tests. So I went this morning and had that done as well as a hemoglobin test of some sort to follow up on my borderline high glucose in May. Hopefully both will come back fine but I feel like my body is giving in to Father Time. AHHHHHHH!!

I just hope I can have a baby one way or another before it decides to quit altogether.

I should be starting my IUI cycle early next week if AF cooperates. I'm going away for the weekend so hopefully she won't show early.

deeceetoo · #7 (**permalink**) 09-01-2004, 02:50 PM

Beth,

I was just logging on and your post caught my eye. I simply wanted to say that Ali had an FSH of 14 when she became pg with Hannah. Via IUI nonetheless.

I had an elevated FSH as well. FSH is not about egg quality, it's about reserve. You may have a low reserve but still have good quality eggs.

Another option you may wish to consider, if you want to still try for biological even while in the process of adopting (who says you can't right?), what about alternative therapies? My FSH has gone down since I started doing acupuncture and chinese herbs. I don't claim to know how it works nor do I really believe in the whole Qi business, but the fact is that I am doing much better (and after almost three years of trying, two failed IVF attempts, and at the age of 38, I finally was able to get pg; ended in an m/c but I know I can do it again!).

Adoption is a wonderful option, as is donor eggs, but if you feel you aren't done with trying for a 100% genetically yours baby, then I simply wanted to offer up this one other "thing" you could look into.

Just my