ENJOY!!!
I love these!!
Snappy Comebacks Lines To Use When Others Are Not As Supportive As You Would Like Them To Be…
When They Say…
“Just relax…”
1. If I were more relaxed, I would be comatose.
2. Do you think relaxing cures cancer or any other disease? Infertility is a disease just like any other and relaxation will not cure infertility.
3. Most difficulties in life cannot be overcome by relaxing; they can be overcome by taking action, which is what I/we am/are doing.
4. And here I thought that sex is what created babies, not relaxing!
5. Stress doesn’t cause infertility. Infertility causes stress.
6. We already tried that approach but have moved onto proven treatments.
“So, when are the two of you planning to start a family…”
1. We are a family.
2. We already are a family that has two people in it.
3. When the egg and the sperm decide to do a tango.
4. We are past the planning stage- we are already contracting with professionals.
“What do you really need a baby for anyway?”
1. For tax purposes, of course.
2. Because our dog has turned out so well.
3. What do most people want a baby for?
“This is God’s will…”
1. If you understand God’s plan so well, perhaps you could explain it to me.
2. Do you really believe that God plans for us to suffer so?
3. It sounds as if you don’t want us to have a baby.
4. Perhaps it is God’s will since He allowed infertility treatment to be discovered.
5. In the bible, is says to go forth and multiply, which we interpret as God’s will.
6. If it wasn’t in God’s plan, why did He give me the desire to have a baby?
“You want kids so much, well, take mine…”
1. In a heartbeat.
2. I certainly hope that they don’t know you feel that way about them.
“Are you sure that you are doing everything right?”
1. What is your definition of right?
2. We had it down to an art years ago. Now it has become a science.
“Why don’t you two have any kids?”
1. Because it is not so easy for some people.
2. Because our cat is allergic.
3. We are working on it.
“You are too young to be worrying about this”
1. Is there an official age to start worrying?
2. I am not going to get any more fertile as I get older.
3. My age is my best asset right now and I don’t want to waste it.
“You are too old to have a baby”
1. Why?
2. Does one run out of love at some point in time?
3. I feel that my maturity will make me a better parent.
4. We are financially and emotionally prepared to be the best parents we can which, is more than many people can say.
“Why haven’t you thought about adopting?”
1. Have you?
2. Why would I?
3. It is in our list of possible options if medical treatments don’t work for us.
4. Adoption is not associated with pregnancy. It is an old wives tale, which was disproved many years ago.
Miscarriages comebacks…
1. If your husband died, would it be right for me to come up to you and say, “you are young, you have plenty of time to have more husbands”?
2. Are you saying that I shouldn’t care that my baby died?
3. If it wasn’t meant to be, why did I get pregnant?
4. Is it supposed to make me feel better that something was wrong with my baby?
5. Please don’t try to justify my child’s death with a platitude. It was a tragedy. It was not God’s will- it was a tragedy.
6. No, everything does not happen for a reason.
General comebacks…
1. Excuse, what did you just say?
2. I don’t think you meant to say what you just said because I know you would not want to hurt me like that.
3. Until you have walked in my shoes, and know exactly what it feels like to desperately want a child, I don’t think you should be telling me what I should feel or do.
4. I understand that you mean well, but what you just said is very hurtful to me.
5. The media is not the best or most accurate source of information, which is where you are getting your information. I am getting my information from my physician.
6. I think that you need to educate yourself more about infertility before you make comments which I perceive to be critical or accusatory.
Compiled by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D
With assistance/suggestions from INCIID.org participants and various Boston IVF patients
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Erin~First Time Mom to Josie Baby, born on August 17, 2006
