Not registered? Join now!

StacyG · #1 (**permalink**) 07-23-2004, 04:50 AM

Another friend of mine is pregnant with her second. Not even 5 weeks and shes already telling everyone. I love her dearly and am happy for her and DH. But, I am also frustrated. We are in a bible study together that meets weekly. We have been friends for over a year through this group. She knows of my TTC and m/c in June. When I got my BFP in June she thought she might be pg then too, but didnt want to be. She got AF and I m/c.

About 2 week ago she talked about how she and DH have changed their minds and want to get pg. How they bd when there was egg white cm and how frustrated she was that she wasnt pg. She had gotten a BFN. So, one month in and shes convinced shes not pg. She knows little about cycles and after talking to her this past Monday we determined that she tested way too early. Her cycles are really long and she tested like 2 days after O. And you know how this ends...she retested this week and shes pregnant.

I am cd 14. I did Femara and an hCG trigger this month. So I wont know for 2 more weeks if this will be my month or not. I am so worried about what will happen if I get BFN. I dont know that I can be around her for the next 9 months but I have so few friends here. We just moved here last year so I really dont know many people and the group that we are both part of meets weekly and has become an important part of my life. I dont have the right to expect her not to complain about morningsickness and other pg symptoms but I dont think I can listen to it....We also have a mutal friend in the group who we are both close to and how will be put in the middle of this. So IF I get BFN, then not only will I not get baby but I will also lose my one group of friends I have come to count on because I can't "just get over it."

I dont want to be one of the bitter infertile women who cant be around pg women but since my m/c I am getting bitter. Its been 4 1/2 years. My life is basically on hold for the past 1 1/2 yrs waiting to see if I will get pg or not. I pray and talk to God about it every day. I ask Him to soften my heart and help me to understand.

I finally was feeling good and moving forward from the m/c and then this. Shes the 2nd friend I know whose pregnant in the last month. When is it my turn??