Lord, help me to know that You are enough. Take my eyes off of myself. Take my eyes off of the child I desire. Help me to delight myself in You. Mold the desires of my heart to be in line with Your will. I don't want to need to be a mother more than I need to be your humble, obedient child. I don't want wanting to have a baby to be a stumbling block between You and me anymore.

Lord, I want to give this desire, this drive, this ache up to You. Help me not to snatch it back as I so often do with the burdens I place in Your hands. Help me to be truly content with Your will and Your timing.

Lord, You know that I still desire a baby - someone to mold, teach, train, shape, guide, and help to grow in You. But until the day You give me that joyous blessing, help me to grow in You. Let me reach out to those around me. Let me witness and minister to the children You place in my path.

Lord, if adoption is the path You would have us take, prepare our hearts, and prepare the child who will share our home. If adoption is not Your will for our lives, keep me from pushing ahead of Your plan. Help me to stay submitted to my husband's will, and to Your will. If we are headed in the wrong direction, change our hearts.

Thank You for lifting my burden. Help me to keep You first! Let me seek Your face daily, and let me know that You are enough!

__________________


ME (39 - 40 on 8/23)
DH (35) - married since 6/03



TTC since 1/04
3/05 - HSG test - all clear !!!!!!
1st IUI w/Clomid, Repronex & Prometrium 4/05 DAMN
WLS (Lap Band) 7/11/05
1/28 & 1/29 - 2nd IUI w/Repronex & Prometrium w/acupuncture - 2/1/06
M/C 4/06
7/8 & 7/9 - 3rd IUI w/Follistim & Prometrium w/acupuncture - 7/20/06 DAMN
7/30 & 7/31- 4th IUI w/Follisitm & Prometrium w/acupuncture - 8/12/06 DAMN
8/14 - Starting ALL over again on 5th IUI!!!
8/18 - HSG#2 - all clear
8/23 - 40th b-day