As most of you know I took a nasty fall last week. The doctors had been following me very closely and I found out at yesterday's ultrasound that the baby died. Unfortunately Sergio, my husband, was out of town and I was at the doctor's office alone. I think even the doctor was shocked because this was to be my last check before him allowing me to return to work. I had the D & C today and even though physically I feel okay, emotionally I am a wreck. This is my second 2nd trimester loss and our last child died when he was 3 days old. Sergio has said this is a sign that we should not have any more children. It was hard enough to convince him to agree with me getting my TR, I am sure that there is no convincing him to try again at this point. So I think this is probably the end of the road for me. It's hard to explain but at this point the grief is on so many levels that it will probably take me awhile to figure this all out. I have really enjoyed getting to know you all and I really appreciate all the support you have so graciously given me ever since I found this group.

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Andi

I missed ur post about u falling hon, but I am sooooo sorry to read this post. My is breaking for u right now.

I know the agony of losing a baby only to well , so u r not alone in this. Try not to make any decisions about or not right now, u r very emotional and so is ur DH. Ur emotions will change over time, so please dont make any rash decisions right now.

Take time to heal, we r all here for u hon .

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Host of TTC with Fertility Monitors/OPK

Andi~ I am so sorry for your loss, I wish that words could make it better for you, but I am sure they don't. I will keep you in my thoughts.

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married 10 years
Me 32 DH 49
TTC#1
Low Count, ASA's present
IVF 12-07 BFN

Andi

I am so sorry hun. My is breaking for you!!! I agree with Dianne. Don't make any hasty decisions. Give yourself & your DH some time. We are here for you if you need us.

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ME-33 (8-30)
DH-35 (7-7)
DS-10 (5-21)
DS-8 (10-23)
DS-(9/7/2007)
V-12-98
VR-8-07-06

I am deeply sorry Andi...my thoughts are with you,
nothing can be said to ease your pain I know, But I am sorry..

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Andi~ I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your family.

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I am truley sorry for your loss.It is not an easy thing to go through.I will be praying for you and your family.Take all the time for your to heal.We are here for you when you need us.

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http://lmfinnegan.blogspot.com/

awh sweetie , i'm sorry that you have to go through this, i'm at a loss of words but my heart goes out to you. lots of prayers your way.

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Thank you so much for all of your support. This was totally unexpected and as the shock wears off all the emotions are starting to crash down. I have now been pregnant 5 times and only have one precious child with me here on Earth. (The two girls in the pictures are my nieces who we are raising.) My faith gives me hope that I will see my precious Sage again in Heaven and finally meet my other angels, but it's hard to find comfort in that when my arms feel so empty right now.

We are having a garage sale next month and I have decided to sell all the baby stuff we have been keeping, except for the things with true sentimental value. It is just tormenting me being down there with no baby to use it. I figure if one day we are blessed with another child, we can always get new things but seeing that half of my store room that is filled with baby stuff is just too hard for me to deal with right now.

Although my husband is completely against the idea of us trying to have any more children, I have not given up hope that I will get to be a mother again. I will probably not go the fertility route but since 2 of my 5 pregnancies were achieved without assistance, I feel like there is still a glimmer of hope. Basically I don't plan on doing anything to prevent a pregnancy and we will se what happens. I know not everyone on this board is religious but my faith is very important to me and right now I feel like I have to leave this in God's hands.

Thank you so much for all of your support and who knows, I may be back sometime in the near future.

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Andi

Andi-Honey I am so so sorry, I hadn't heard about your fall. Just take it one day at a time. Take some time to heal, I'm glad you have your faith to keep you going *hugs*

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Oh my. I'm so very sorry Andi. I hadn't read about your fall as I have had computer issues. How dreadfully sad.

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Where did I come from?" the baby asked its mother. She answered, half-crying, half-laughing, and clasping the baby to her breast: "You were hidden in my heart as its desire, my darling. You were in the dolls of all my childhood games. In all my hopes and my loves, in my life, in the life of my mother, and in her mother before her, you have lived."
--Rabindranath Tagore

Andi, I am so sorry
I know that words can't do much to comfort, and I am glad you have your faith to help you to ease your pain. I am not religious, but I am spiritual, and sometimes giving things up to the Divine is the best way to unburden ourselves from so much pain.
Whatever is meant to be in your future will be, just sit back, heal, love and nurture yourself and know that we are all here for you.

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I'm so terribly sorry ((((hugs)))

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Erin -Mom to 3 boys and a baby Girl!
VR-4-20-07 BFP-5-25-07 Maddy Born-1-25-08

I didnt hear about your fall either, since I was away, but I am so so sorry.

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Connor Aiden

Thank you all for your support. It has been a rough few days. I got it into my head that I had to pretty much organize my whole house and that was obviously more than I should have been doing. So physically I have taken a few steps back. I'm on bedrest through the weekend and then if things are better by Monday, the doctor will let me start to get up and around again.

I also found out that the doctor did a different type procedure than a d & c because I was so far a long. They were able to get footprints and handprints and even made plaster impressions of my baby's feet. He was not sure whether I would want these things or not but wanted to let me know that they were available. The doctor also said he thinks he knows the gender of my baby but wants to wait to confirm with the chromosome test.

I am sure it will be emotional, but I really do want to see the footprints and handprints. Since I never got to see my baby it feels very comforting to have some sort of tangible memory of my child.

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Andi

Wow, that is amazing to be able to have that. Andi I am so sorry hon. I hope that you have the support and love of those around you, and that you are healing well, physically at least.
You have been through so very much.
you are in my thoughts.
I am so glad you are still lurking around and keeping us posted. We would be very sad not to have you around here.

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