I have been on these boards for a long time now and just gave birth to my son 7 1/2 weeks ago. I too am overweight. (5' 2" and 190 lbs.) I've pretty much always been overweight though to some degree.

Anyhow, the question I have actually isn't for me.....it's concerning a dear friend of mine. Her husband had a vasectomy long before they knew each other. She has expressed her desire to have children some day and he is okay with having a reversal done when she is ready. She is also very overweight. She is about 5' 8" and weighs pretty close to 300 lbs. (that's my best guess anyway....I know she's a size 26) I know that it's not easy getting pregnant after a vas. reversal, but the success rates are very good. But I'm wondering if they will have some extra obstacles due to her weight. I know that I am not one to talk about the overweight thing, but I am truly afraid of her health if she were to become pregnant and gain more weight. (I would also be very concerned for the baby)

Being overweight myself, I know that it's not a subject that is easy to talk to anyone about. My friend is much younger than I am, (9 years), and has never had children before. Having had 3 children already, being on these boards for so long, and reading more information than my mind can handle at times, I am VERY informed about the effects of being overweight and TTC/becoming pregnant. I know it's going to be stressful enough for her after the reversal is done, hoping that she will become pregnant. I just don't want the weight to be an added stress to her body and her mind.

I absolutely LOVE her to pieces, and she will make the BEST mother EVER, as I watch her with my children all the time. Soooo......how do I go about talking to her regarding my concerns??? I know for a fact that she is not very informed about TTC and other issues that go along with it.

TIA!! Sorry this was so long.

Cris

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Does she have a computer? Perhaps you could invite her to join the boards!

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Everyone's body chemistry is different. My cousin is about 5'6" and over 300lbs and has gotten pregnant on her own and had a child. Some of my other overweight freinds have struggled.
I would say it is best for you to leave it to the experts in this area. Be there to support her and maybe suggest she go for a complete physical as well as a pre-conception exam. The doctors will likely address some of your concerns. Then, just be there to support her through whatever she has to go through. You may push some wrong buttons if you tel her she is going ot have problems.

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Thanks ladies! I already thought of inviting her to the boards once they have decided to do this. It is still in the 'talking' stage of WHEN they will do it. She has an appointment with her gyno next Thursday and is planning on talking to her about this. I'm sure she will discuss with me whatever issues her gyno is concerned about. I just hope that I can help her in any and every way possible. I sooooooo want this to happen for her. She is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle human being I have ever known.

Thanks again, and best of luck to you all. May you all get those BFP's very soon.

Cris

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You sound like you are a really good friend for being so concerned. I'm overweight and we didn't have any problems TTC (only 4 months and that's coming right off birthcontrol). I am concerned about healthrisks and now more than every I want to loose weight (but it will have to wait another 7 months or longer if I breastfeed). Something to also keep in mind is that there are many women that are of normal weight and size that develop the high blood pressure and diabetes as well. I agree with Renee I would just be there to support her and I definitely agree she should join the boards. I think there is even a board for TTC after a vasectomy. Good luck to your friend.

Aimee

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This is a delicate issue. Perhaps you could give her a book on preconception or pregnancy (as a gift). It might show her that you're supportive of her efforts to have a baby and help educate her without you mentioning her weight.

The book I have ("Before Your Pregnancy: A 90 Day Guide for Couples on How to Prepare for a Healthy Conception") has a section on the risks of being overweight and pregnant and offers eating and exercise plans to help you lose weight. Initally, when I read this section of the book I was very discouraged but now I'm glad that I know this information. (Overall, I'm liitle disappointed in the book because it hasn't told me much that I haven't already learned on these boards. But, if your friend hasn't been reseaching pregnancy much yet, it might be really helpful. And, of course, there are other, similar books on the market.)

I have been overweight all my life. By the time I was 12 I was at 185-190 lbs, but I am also very muscular. I have had 3 children already and am TTC #4. I personally didnt have the gaining weight issue because alot of the hormone increases you have with pregnancy tend to balance out and in a way I lost weight while pregnant, I didnt actually gain weight until my last month and even then I only gained 3 lbs or so. My last pregnancy was gestational diabetic but it was uncomplicated other than that, I was quite healthy. My youngest weighed 6 lbs 7 oz at birth.

I suppose there are many issues that CAN be a problem as each woman is very different, but those issues really can only be addressed with her Dr.

Even if there are risks involved, I believe its worth the risks I took, my children are worth that risk.

These opinions are strictly mine and as the other ladies have stated, the best thing you can do for her is to be a good support system for her and never ever judge her for any reason. Be there for her and support her decisions and just smile and be happy for her no matter what she decides to do.

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I am 5'8", 255 pounds, and conceived naturally 2 months after stopping pill usage after 17 years on it. I don't think our weight has as much to do with it as other things with our bodies do. Other than being overweight, I'm as healthy as a horse!

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